


Merlin, These Boys are Idiots 4: Order of The Phoenix Remix

by gabriellelupin_black



Series: Wolfstar: Through The Ages [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bring Back Black | Sirius Black Returns From Beyond the Veil, Canon Divergent, Established Relationship, Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Post-Sirius Black in Azkaban, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Series, Sirius Black Lives, break up and makeup, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:01:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 71,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27156289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabriellelupin_black/pseuds/gabriellelupin_black
Summary: Sirius and Remus are in love...but Sirius is trapped at Grimmauld Place.Remus is sent on dangerous missions.Sirius is jealous of Tonks.Harry knows something's going on.Hermione figures it out.Sirius Black... lives.An Order of The Phoenix/Bring Back Black fic!Please leave comments and kudos!!
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Wolfstar: Through The Ages [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1829482
Comments: 219
Kudos: 226





	1. Sirius: The First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> The fourth installment in Wolfstar: Through the Ages

Sirius was sitting at the dining table in the kitchen of his childhood home. This was a position he thought he would never have to be in again, back when he was sixteen. But here he was, all this time later, a kitchen full of people he hadn’t seen in years and strangers mulling around. Just as he felt like he couldn’t possibly feel any worse, he noticed Remus walk in through the doorway, and smile at him. Sirius was filled with a warmth that only filled him when Remus was around, and although this situation was absolutely shite, having Remus there made it much, much better.

“Ahem,” Dumbledore cleared his throat. “If everyone would like to take their seats?”  
The chatter died down and everyone either took a seat at the table or summoned a chair. Remus sat next to Sirius and grabbed his hand under the table, clearly sensing how tense the other man was.  
“Firstly, I would like to thank Sirius for hosting us all here today,” Dumbledore smiled at Sirius. There were murmured ‘thank you’s from those around the table, and Sirius forced himself to smile and nod at everyone who smiled and nodded at him.   
“Secondly,” Dumbledore continued, “I would like to thank all of you for selflessly volunteering to join this organisation and the resistance against Voldemort!”  
A few people gave small cheers, however there were also a few gasps, clearly as a response to Dumbledore using You-Know-Who’s actual name.  
“Ah,” Dumbledore sighed. “I am afraid that is one of our… rules, per-say. Fear of a name just encourages fear of an entity. His name is Voldemort. I think you’ll find that acknowledging that takes away some of his power.”  
Everyone nodded, although some of those nods were extremely hesitant.  
“Wonderful. Now,” Dumbledore checked his watch, “there are only a few of us yet to come-“ There was a loud bang in the hallway, followed by the shrieks of Walburga Black’s portrait.  
“Oh dear,” Dumbledore sighed. “Nymphadora?”  
“Yes, yes! Sorry! I just can’t-“ There was some more scuffling from the hallway, and the female voice emitted a few quiet shrieks.  
“I’ll fix it,” a second voice in the hall snapped. A voice that Sirius recognised all too well.  
“No.” Sirius stood up. “Absolutely not!”  
“It’s okay, Sirius,” his cousin said, walking in, looking put out. “He’s just trying to help.”  
“Hi, Tonks,” Sirius said, warmly. He’d missed her a great deal. “But it’s not that.” He said, turning towards the doorway.  
“Pleasant to see you too, Black,” Snape said coldly. “Lovely house you’ve got here.”  
Sirius felt rage building up, filling his body. “No!” He exclaimed, turning to Dumbledore. “No, no, no!”  
“Sirius, please calm down,” Dumbledore said softly. “Severus is here for the same reason as all of us are.”  
“Bullshit!” Sirius cried. “We aren’t here to join the other side! We don’t have dark marks on our arms, do we?! We don’t get each other’s brothers fucking killed!”  
Everyone stared at Sirius, and then stared at Snape. There was a good minute of the group looking back and forward between the two before Snape broke the silence.  
“It wasn’t my fault that Regulus was killed, Black. He did it to himself.”  
“That’s quite enough.” Dumbledore said sharply. “Severus, take a seat. Sirius is hosting us here, and the least that you could do is be respectful.”  
Snape looked infuriated, but did as he was told, and took a seat as far away from Sirius as was physically possible.  
“I don’t want him here.” Sirius crossed his arms.  
“Sirius, it’s important that we all cooperate. That is the only way we have a chance at winning this war,” Dumbledore sighed.  
“He’s a death eater!”  
“He was a double agent, Sirius. Severus helped us greatly in the first war and has great potential to help us again.”  
“Bullshit!”  
“Sirius, sit down,” Remus said quietly from Sirius’ left. “Just sit down.”  
“But-“  
“Sirius.” Remus sounded serious. Sirius knew that when Remus spoke like this it meant that he was borderline angry, so Sirius sat down, albeit reluctantly.  
“Thank you, Sirius,” Dumbledore smiled warmly. Sirius found it extremely irritating.

The rest of the meeting passed by painfully slowly, and although Sirius did pick up on many of the plans that Dumbledore had for The Order, most of the meeting was spent glaring at Snape. Remus had whispered “I love you,” in Sirius’ ear around halfway through, and he felt significantly calmer for the second half of the meeting. They held hands under the table, and Sirius realised that they hadn’t discussed whether they would be telling people that they were together. Those who were part of the first Order knew that they had been, and Sirius suspected that Dumbledore suspected that they still were, but no one really knew that they were an item. Sirius made a mental note to discuss it with Remus later.  
“Thank you all so very much for coming today. I, and I’m sure many of you, appreciate every single person who has turned up today,” Dumbledore finished.  
“Not every single person,” Sirius sneered under his breath. Remus squeezed his hand and continued listening.

Much of the next hour was spent getting to know everyone who was new to The Order. However, a few minutes after the meeting ended, Sirius stalked up the stairs to his room and slammed the door. He knew he was acting like a child, but having Snape around brought everything back. Everything from Hogwarts, from the First War, to Regulus… Sirius laid down on his bed and tried his best to go to sleep.

———————————————————

Sirius woke up a while later, and there was significantly less noise coming from downstairs, so he felt it was safe to return to the kitchen. He knew Remus was down there, at least.  
Sirius walked through the kitchen to find Tonks, laughing, sitting on Remus’ lap.   
He couldn’t remember ever being so infuriated in his entire life.  
He stalked over and looked Remus dead in the eyes. “What’s going on here?”  
“Tonks fell,” Remus said guiltily.   
“And Remus gallantly caught me,” Tonks giggled.  
Sirius wanted to push his cousin onto the floor.  
“Yes, he can be very gallant,” Sirius said sarcastically. Tonks, fortunately, didn’t pick up on the sarcasm.  
“Anyway, Tonks, I’ll help you up,” Remus said quickly, standing up before she even had a chance to respond.  
“Thank you Remus,” she smiled. She was clearly batting her eyelashes. It was disgusting, if Sirius did say so himself.  
“Of course, Tonks,” Remus responded, far too politely for Sirius’ taste.  
“Call me Dora,” she smiled. Sirius almost threw up.  
“Dora?!” He spluttered.  
“Yes. Anyway, I have to go. The Ministry calls,” she giggled. She hugged Sirius, saying “Bye Cuz. It was really good to see you, even in this god awful house.”   
Sirius liked her so much, and he really wished that she was a bitch so he didn’t feel so bad being jealous of her.  
Then, she hugged Remus. For a really, really long time. “It was nice to meet you, Remus.”  
He pulled away and smiled. “You too, Dora.”  
Sirius bolted to the bathroom and promptly threw up.

—————————————————-

Sirius spent the next few hours avoiding Remus, which was surprisingly easy, considering his room only locked from the inside.   
“Sirius, would you just let me in?” Remus said from the other side of the door.  
Sirius chose not to respond. He kept replaying Remus saying “Dora” in his head, and found it quite easy to ignore him.  
Sirius had placed an incredibly complex locking charm on the door, and was quite confident that Remus wouldn’t be able to get in, so when the door swung open, he was both throughly disappointed in his own magic and thoroughly disappointed that he had to deal with the situation. Hiding was far easier.  
“Would you just talk to me?” Remus begged, sitting next to Sirius.  
“No, I don’t think I will.”  
“What did I do?”  
Sirius whipped around. “What did you do?! Seriously?!”  
“Yes! Seriously!”  
“Dora?!” Sirius huffed.  
“Really? That’s what this is about?”  
“Yes! That’s what this is about! She’s my cousin! And she has a thing for you! And-“  
“Sirius.” Remus cut him off. “Why does it matter if she has a thing for me?” Sirius looked at him quizzically, because the answer was obvious. “Do you think I have a thing for her?”  
“Of course not,” Sirius said quickly.  
“Then why does it matter?”  
“I don’t like it! I don’t like her liking you. I don’t like having Snape in my house, or being stuck here as if I actually killed anyone, or having my baby cousin ask you to call her Dora!”  
Remus smiled. “What is so amusing?!” Sirius said frustratedly.  
“You’re jealous.” Remus smirked.  
“Am not.”  
“Yes you are.”  
“No I’m not!” Sirius was a lot of things, but he wasn’t jealous.  
“Pads,” Remus said, reaching for Sirius’ hand, “I love you. No one else, just you. There’s no risk, okay?”  
Sirius frowned. “Fine.”  
Remus leaned in and kissed him passionately, which was a welcome distraction, in Sirius’ opinion.  
Then there was more kissing, and more touching, and just when Sirius was about to suck a mark onto Remus’ neck, Remus pulled away.  
“Did I do something?” Sirius asked nervously.  
“No, no baby. I just don’t think people should know about us yet. And if you do that, they’ll know.”  
Sirius slumped back against his headboard. “Why can’t they know?”  
Remus rested his head on Sirius’ shoulder. “It will complicate things, you know that. And as soon as they know, Harry knows. Are you really ready for him to know?”  
Sirius considered this for a moment. “No. Not really.”  
“Just us for now?”  
“Just us for now,” Sirius agreed.  
“Can we still fuck?” Remus asked suggestively.  
“Of course we can, you idiot,” Sirius said, climbing on top of Remus.

Someone must have cast a locking charm, and a silencing charm too, somewhere along the way, because they were lying, sweaty and spent, and no one had even knocked to question them.  
“We’ll be okay, right?” Sirius asked quietly. This time he asked because he really didn’t know.  
“Yes, beautiful. We’ll be just fine.”


	2. Remus: The First Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus gets asked to go on a mission. The Advance Guard meets for the first time. Sirius is jealous.
> 
> Next up: Inside Sirius' mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't love this chapter, but I DO love the next one. I'll be posting it later today, so get excited!

“Remus, I don’t want to ask this of you, but I feel that I have too,” Dumbledore said quietly.  
The two were in the sitting room while everyone else in the house was still asleep. Remus knew what was coming.  
“You want me to go back to the werewolves.”  
Dumbledore sighed and nodded his head. “Yes. I am sorry. I truly am. And I would send anyone else if I could, but no one else is fit for the job.”  
Remus knew that if he thought about it for too long, he wouldn’t be able to truly help The Order. “I’ll do it.”   
“Remus, if you need to take some time-“  
“No,” Remus interrupted. “I’ll do it. But no more than two weeks at a time.”  
Dumbledore cocked his head, and said “Remus, that might be a tad difficult. Two weeks isn’t-“  
“With all due respect, Sir, it’s two weeks at a time or no weeks ever.”  
Dumbledore nodded his head and gave a brief smile. “I’ve always admired your determination, Remus. Two weeks it is.”  
Dumbledore got up and left the room, leaving Remus sitting very alone, wondering how he was going to tell Sirius.

——————————————————

“Baby?” Remus whispered, lightly shaking Sirius. “Baby,” he repeated.  
“Whasgoingon?” Sirius mumbled, opening his eyes slightly. “Oh. Hi, Moony,” he smiled.  
“Hi, Pads. I need to talk to you about something.”  
Clearly it was obvious that something was up, because Sirius shot into a sitting position and stared intently at Remus. “What is it?”  
Remus sighed, and shifted so that he was holding Sirius’ hands. “Dumbledore’s asked me to do something.”  
“You’re going back to the pack.” Sirius looked away as he spoke, and let go of Remus’ hands.  
“Pads, it’s not my choice,” Remus pleaded. “Please don’t be angry.”  
“It is your choice!” Sirius cried. “It is! You could say no if you really wanted to!”  
“Padfoot-“  
“Don’t call me that,” Sirius sneered. Remus felt tears well in his eyes, but he held it together for his fiancee.  
“Sirius, I can’t say no. I can’t fight, I can’t go on stakeouts or missions, this is the only thing that I can do to be useful.”  
“Right. I can’t go on stakeouts, or missions,” Remus instantly regretted what he said, “I can’t fight. Does that mean I’m not useful?”  
“No!” Remus cried. That wasn’t what he meant. “That’s not what I’m saying. I’m just saying I need to help somehow-“  
“So do I, Remus. But do you see me offering to leave you for months at a time just to feel better about myself?”  
Something about those words cut deep. “You don’t have the offer,” Remus pointed out.  
“Thanks for reminding me. But if I did, would I leave you?” Sirius asked quietly, filling Remus with guilt.  
“It’s different, Sirius. It’s always been different for us,” Remus tried to explain.  
“Yes, it is different. I get you struggled while I was gone, but I was locked in a cell in the darkest place you could ever imagine. I fucking struggled too. And I felt constantly guilty for leaving you because I knew I would be leaving you in a dark place. But you’re leaving me alone in a darker place than Azkaban, voluntarily. I’d never do that to you.”  
Sirius rarely sounded that serious. Remus knew he was really, really upset.  
“I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry. For everything that’s happened to us, for everything that’s happened to you. I’m so sorry, Pads,” Remus said quietly, risking the nickname.  
Sirius buried his face in his hands. “I’m going to be alone in this house with Kreacher. I’m going to be alone again.”  
“You won’t be alone,” Remus said as an attempt at comfort. “People will be here all the time.”  
Sirius looked up at Remus. “When I’m not with you or with Harry and his sidekicks, I’m alone. I thought you would know that by now.”  
Remus kicked himself for not remembering that. “I’m sorry. I won’t go.”  
Sirius sighed, and was silent for a minute or two, before finally speaking. “You have to go.”  
“But you-“   
Sirius held his hand up to silence Remus. “Moony, you have to go. I’ll just really struggle without you.”  
“I know it doesn’t make it better, but I told Dumbledore I wouldn’t go for more than two weeks at a time. And I’ll be here for the holidays, I promise.”  
“You promise?” Sirius whispered.  
“Yes,” Remus smiled, pulling Sirius in. “Yes baby, I promise.”

—————————————————A few days later, Remus was already packing a bag to take with him on his first mission. The Summer holidays before fifth year begun in exactly two weeks, and although he wasn’t sure who was coming to Grimmauld Place, he wanted to be back for Sirius, who didn’t cope fantastically with house guests who he didn’t necessarily invite.  
There was one more night before Remus was to depart, and he and Sirius very much wanted to spend it alone, with takeaway and a lot of sex, but someone (who Remus would find and punish at a later date) had organised a large Order dinner with members of “The Advance Guard”, a specific group dedicated to the protection of Harry Potter, when the time came for him to arrive at Grimmauld Place in a month, or sooner, if there was an emergency. Sirius and Remus were unaware who was actually a part of this group, so they had ordered takeaway for fifteen, just to be safe.  
It was around seven when the doorbell rung the first time. Walburga’s portrait promptly began screaming.  
“Ugh!” Sirius huffed. “Would the old bitch just shut up!”  
In usual circumstances, Remus would have said “Don’t talk about your mother that way!” But in this particular circumstance, Satan and Lilith being Sirius’ parents, Sirius would speak about them any way that he wanted.  
“Hey, it’s okay. You get the door-“  
“No, no,” Sirius waved him off. “You get the door, I’ll shut her up.”  
Remus shrugged, kissed his boyfriend on the cheek and headed down to greet whoever it was that was coming over.

Remus swung open the door to face many more people than he was expecting to enter the house at one time. Emmeline, Hestia, Sturgis, Elphias and Dedalus were all at the door.  
“Remus! It’s been so, so long!” Emmeline exclaimed, throwing her arms around Remus’ neck.  
“Been a while, son,” Sturgis smiled.  
“We’ve missed you,” Hestia added.  
“Hello!” Elphias and Dedalus said at the same time.  
“Come in, come in,” Remus managed to say with a smile, despite feeling ridiculously overwhelmed.  
Remus led them all to the kitchen, only to find someone already there. Someone who was clearly not Sirius.   
“What the fuck?!” Remus jumped. “Shit,” he apologised, “sorry. Just wasn’t expecting to see you there, Sir.”  
Dumbledore smiled. “Hello, all.”  
“Actually, how on earth did you get in?” Sirius asked from behind the group, who all began speaking at once to greet him. Remus knew Sirius would have found that extremely unpleasant.   
“Ah, Sirius, what is that saying… a magician never reveals his tricks? Well, I don’t either,” the old man said, smiling. “May I invite everyone to take a seat?” Dumbledore asked Sirius.  
Sirius clearly appreciated being asked for permission, because he cracked a genuine smile. “Yes. Take a seat, everyone.”  
They all sat around the table, and just when they’d gotten comfortable, the door bell rang again.   
“COULD PEOPLE STOP RINGING THE DOORBELL AND JUST COME IN!” Sirius and Remus yelled at the same time.  
“SORRY!” A young voice called as the door opened.   
Kingsley Shaklebolt, Moody, and Tonks walked into the room. Or, Remus supposed, Dora, as he had been instructed to call her. If he was working on the guard with Tonks, Sirius was not going to be happy.   
“Hello,” Kingsley said in his deep voice.  
“Evening,” Moody said gruffly, with an expression that on anyone else would have been a smile.  
“Hi!” Tonks said warmly. Remus couldn’t deny that she was staring right at him.  
“Hi, Dora,” Remus responded. Sirius was miming throwing up behind everyone else backs.  
As soon as she looked away, Remus shot a warning glance at Sirius, who raised his hands in surrender.  
“Take a seat, I suppose,” Sirius sighed.   
Tonks sat down, in Sirius’ chair, incredibly closely to Remus.   
“Merlin!” Sirius cried from across the room, and stomped out of the door.  
“What was that about?” Hestia asked.  
“No clue,” Remus lied. He hoped Sirius would come back soon.  
“Well, all of The Advance Guard are here, and I’m sure Miverna will be joining us shortly, so we may as well begin.” Dumbledore waved his wand and the food assembled itself onto plates that were distributed amongst those at the table. One plate floated to the side, assumably for Sirius. “We’re here to escort Harry from his home in Privet Drive to Grimmauld Place, when the time comes, which should be in around four weeks. Is everyone up for that task?” Dumbledore looked around the room.  
Everyone murmured some variation of “Of course”.   
“Brilliant!” Dumbledore exclaimed. “I’ll leave you to all talk about tactics on how to actually transport Harry here safely. Dig in!”  
McGonagall walked in and began conversing with Dumbledore, while the group at the table began discussing the best way to get Harry to London. As more and more time passed, Remus felt more and more guilty for not going to check on Sirius.  
“You’ll have to excuse me,” he said apologetically. “I’ll be back in a moment.” Remus quickly got up from the table and pretended not to hear Tonks when she asked where he was going. He climbed up the stairs and found Padfoot sitting on the bed, his tail between his legs. Even as a dog, Sirius knew how to sulk.  
“Pads,” Remus said quietly. “What are you doing up here?”  
The black dog whimpered.  
“Pads,” Remus sighed, sitting down. “What’s going on?”  
The black dog sat up and suddenly human Sirius was sitting on the bed. “I don’t like it.”  
“Sirius, there’s nothing to not like,” Remus tried to explain.   
“I’m jealous, okay? I’m jealous!” Sirius huffed.   
Remus forced himself not to bring up the times that Sirius had betrayed him back at Hogwarts. Bringing that up would be petty, he reminded himself. It would be unfair.  
“You have absolutely nothing to be jealous of. I love you, only you, always you. Always and forever, remember?”  
Sirius looked up at Remus and gave a weak smile. “Always and forever?”  
“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading still.  
> My next chapter will have a lot of references to my first two fics, especially the second one. You can read it without reading the chapters, but just know it will make more sense if you've read the First War fic.  
> xxx Gabbi


	3. Sirius: Inside His Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is alone at Grimmauld Place. He creates his very own burn book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys.  
> This chapter will make a lot more sense if you've read my other fics, particularly the first war fic where you learn all about the pack.  
> The next chapter will include heaps of original characters that were developed in the first war fic, but i'll explain them in the notes.  
> That fic was my favourite, so if you have time, give it a read xx

Remus had left for the pack a week ago and Sirius was feeling absolutely shit. He hadn’t been without Remus since the day that he moved back in with him into their old flat, and he didn’t realise just how much of his day was spent solely talking to his fiancee. The worst part, however, was that he couldn’t complain about missing his fiancee, because no one knew that he was with Remus. Everyone thought that he was just sulking because he was stuck in Grimmauld Place, and yes, that was part of it, but he was mainly sulking because the person who made him want to keep going was gone, and he had no way to contact him. Worst of all, he was probably with his ex-boyfriend, and boy did Sirius hate fucking Sebastian Pence. That man hadn’t known how to let Remus go all those years ago, and Sirius could bet that he wouldn’t want to let him go now.  
Sirius was quite interested in what had happened to the pack. All of the old members couldn’t have survived, and if Suzqnna was gone, who was the pack leader? And was Sebastian even still there? Sirius forced himself to believe that Sebastian was gone. But he did hope the rest of them were well. They’d forgiven Sirius for his outburst in St Mungo’s when Harry was born, and they’d kept him safe. Sirius hoped Stephanie was well. Maybe she had a baby now. He hoped so.

People had been coming in and out of Grimmauld Place every day, and people seemed to be making themselves at home. Some even stayed the night. At first, they bothered asking Sirius if they could stay, but now they just took it upon themselves to keep an overnight bag in one of the spare bedrooms. Sirius noticed that the days he found himself complaining far less than he would have had he not met Remus. That man was an incredibly good influence on him, not that either of them would ever admit it. Although he was complaining less, he still allowed himself to sulk for the majority of the day. It was immature, he knew that, and Molly reminded him of it at least twice a day just incase he wasn’t punishing himself enough already.

There were many people in the house, and most of the time Sirius pushed his opinions of them away and tried to be fairly impartial and treat everyone as nicely as he could manage, but there were days when people just reeeaaallllyyyy got on his nerves. He decided he would go upstairs and write everything down. It’s what Remus would tell him to do, but he didn’t get back for three days, so Sirius took it upon himself to be a Mature Adult for once. He picked up a quill and tried to find some spare parchment.  
He assumed Remus would have some in his trunk, so he opened it and dug through it to find some. And find some, he did.  
He found the notepad that Remus had given him for Christmas all those years ago, the one embossed with “Sirius Potter-Lupin-Pettigrew’ on the back.   
A fire started brewing in Sirius’ belly at the mere thought of ever associating Peter with his own name. There was a metal trash can in the corner and Sirius threw the notepad in, picking up his wand and shouting “INCENDIO!”. He watched as the notepad turned to ash, and found that he felt significantly less angry.  
He was still pissed off at everyone in the house. 

He found some new parchment, and began to write:  
‘No one will ever see this. I know that because I’m going to burn it straight away after I finish writing it. I am angry. And I’m going to write about it because otherwise I think that I will actually explode. This is a bitching scroll because I don’t like bitching to anyone except Remus, and Remus isn’t here.   
So I guess I’m angry at Remus. He shouldn’t have left me and I’m angry that he did. I know I shouldn’t be because he’d just doing what he should be doing, but I was gone for so long, and he left me without a second thought. Or at least that’s how it feels.  
I’m angry at Tonks. I’m angry that she constantly talks about Remus and that when he is here she plays up her clumsy streak just so that she has an excuse to touch him. Either Remus doesn’t mind, or more likely he’s so oblivious that he doesn’t notice. He tells me she isn’t a threat, but I’m angry that she likes him. She has no reason not to, no reason to stay away, but I wish she would. She’s my favourite cousin, of course she is, she’s a product of Andromeda and one of the best muggles I know, but she needs to back the hell off, before I scare her out of this house all together. Not on purpose. Maybe.  
I’m angry at Kingsley. He acts all high and mighty and he’s not. That’s all.  
I’m angry at Moody. Just when it seems like people are going to let me go out as Padfoot, just for a walk, it’s always him that shuts them down! There is no reason for him to hate me. I’m the one who’s suffered more than anyone. Sure, he lost a leg, but I lost thirteen years of my life and ALL OF MY FREEDOM!! And sure, he lost an eye, but he got a really cool one in return. So I’m angry at him. Really angry.  
I’m incredibly angry at Molly. I would love if she would just. Shut. Up. About the decisions I make. I would love if she would stop trying to encourage Tonks to go after Remus, because it’s none of her business and just because her son won’t marry Tonks doesn’t mean that Remus has to! REMUS SHOULD MARRY ME. ONLY ME! She also tells me off constantly. She isn’t my mother, nor is she old enough to be. She’s just being a cow, frankly, and its pissing me off.  
I’m NOT angry at Arthur, though. He stands up for me (when it’s safe), and he’s quite nice, if a tad eccentric.   
I’m NOT angry at Bill, or at Fleur. He’s great, and as for Fleur, she’s great too, although I don’t see the attraction. Maybe I’m just really, really gay. Who am I kidding, I already knew that.  
I’m not angry at Hestia, Emmeline, Dedalus, Elphias or Sturgis, I just wish they’d stop being so bloody NICE. I know they don’t mean to annoy me, and they’re actually just being good people, but I wish they’d say what they mean, just for once. On this one I think I’m being a tad too judgy. Whatever, this is my note. I can say what I want.  
I’m fucking furious at Snape. I wish he would go away, or drown, or be blown up, or spontaneously combust. God knows he deserves it. Every memory of Snape that I have is negative. I don’t think he’s done one good thing in his life without an evil agenda. Why the fuck is Dumbledore letting a death eater into a house of the resistance! And isn’t this meant to be my house?! Why can’t I tell someone to get out of MY HOUSE?! I promised Remus I would never wish death on anyone, but I’m angry at him too, so I wish that Snape was dead. Or gone. Gone very, very far away.  
I’m angry at Dumbledore. Maybe I’m the most angry at him out of everyone. I don’t understand any of what goes through his head, and maybe that would be okay if he at least tried to explain it. He’s using Harry for the ‘greater good’, Grindelwald style, he’d locking me up in here (what’s the point of living if I can’t actually live?!), he’s taken Remus away from me, he somehow has managed to trap me in this house all over again, and he’s encouraged people to traipse through whenever the fuck they want. And he always seems calm. That annoys me (for no reason, but this is my note and I don’t have to justify myself to myself.)  
I’m not angry at Harry. I don’t think I could ever be angry at Harry. I can’t figure out if he’s like my son or he’s like my best friend. I’m confused, but I don’t mind. As long as I have Harry and Remus I’ll be okay.  
Actually, I’m angry at Remus for something else too. I’m angry that he isn’t angry. I don’t like being angry alone.’

Sirius put down the quill and stared at the parchment. He didn’t realise just how angry he actually was…   
“SIRIUS! DINNER!”  
Molly’s voice somehow rang in Sirius’ ears for a solid minute after she yelled. He didn’t have time to burn the parchment, so he shoved it in his bedside table and just hoped that he could burn it straight after dinner. No one goes in my room anyway, he thought. It would be fine.

————————————————————

Sirius flopped down on his bed after what he considered a throughly uncomfortable dinner with Molly, Arthur, Tonks, Kingsley, Bill, Fleur and himself. A solid ten minutes were spent on Molly subtly (or what she thought was subtly) mentioning to a very engaged Bill that Tonks was single, resulting in Fleur storming away from the table midway through the meal, and Bill following her into a deserted room in the house. Another ten minutes were filled with a very uncomfortable conversation about whether Sirius missed dating, mainly to exacerbate Tonks desire for Remus. Then time was spent on Tonks talking about how ‘dreamy’ Remus was, and Molly stating that they’d make a lovely couple, and shushing Arthur when he mentioned the age difference. After about twenty minutes, Sirius declared that he was ‘tired’ and waved his wand to clear the table.  
He ignored the protests of “Sirius!” And “We’re still eating!” And climbed up the stairs, laid on the bed, and promptly passed out.

———————————————————

Three days later, Sirius was shaken awake. He hated being woken up immensely, and he was ready to have a go at whoever it was that had the audacity to wake him before the sun was up, but when he opened his eyes, he was met with a smiling Remus. His first assumption was that this was a dream, but slowly he realised that this was very, very real.  
“Hey, baby,” Remus whispered, sitting on the bed. “Miss me?” He smiled.  
“Yes, God, yes I missed you so much,” Sirius sighed, sitting up and wrapping his arms around Remus. “I missed you so, so much.”  
Sirius realised that they were kissing, and slowly clothes were peeling off. Mmm, Sirius thought. Just what I needed.  
After a few heavenly minutes, Remus reached for the jar they kept in Sirius’ bedside table. Suddenly, he turned on the light.  
“Argh!” Sirius cried. “Too bright!”  
Remus was silent.  
“What is it?” Sirius asked, suddenly concerned.   
“I don’t know, Sirius. You tell me.”  
Sirius sat up and saw that Remus was holding Sirius’ letter to himself. This was really, really bad. Remus never spoke ill of anyone. He was going to hate Sirius for this.  
“Remus, don’t read that. You don’t-“  
Remus snatched the letter back out of Sirius’ hand. “It contains my name. I’ll read it if I want to.”  
Sirius knew that he wasn’t going to win this argument, so he surrendered and curled up into a ball on the bed.  
Remus seemed to take far longer than he should have reading the note. He must have read over it at least four times before he turned to Sirius.  
“Is this really what you think of me?” Remus said softly.  
“No, god no. I was just really angry, and I was alone, and I missed you, and everyone was-“  
“Sirius.” Remus said calmly. It was the kind of calm that was beyond anger. Beyond disappointment. “Do you really think these things?”  
“No,” Sirius began. Then he swallowed and quietly said “I did.”  
“You think these things about me?” Remus said. His eyes were watering, and he was clearly holding back tears.  
“I was upset that you left me. I don’t think that about you. I was lonely, Moony, I was angry that I was alone.”  
Remus threw the letter into the air and waved his wand. The letter became a flock of tiny birds that flew out of the open window.   
“Why the birds?” Sirius dared to ask.  
“Because I like turning things that are broken into things that are beautiful.”  
Remus stared at Sirius for a minute or two, before he looked away and let a tear fall onto the sheets.  
“I’m sorry that I left you.”  
“It’s okay,” Sirius whispered.  
“It’s not.”  
“No, it’s not, but that’s what people say, you know?”  
“Yeah,” Remus nodded, wiping away his tears. “I know.”

They ended up wrapped in each others arms, trading lazy kisses all morning.   
They woke up again at midday, when Sirius realised he’d forgotten something.  
“Moony?” He asked.  
“Mmm?” Remus responded.  
“How was the pack?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all fucking legends


	4. Remus: Head of the table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Molly have a typical argument, Remus opens up about his mission and the kids move in.  
> Fred and George are put in an awkward situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,  
> Sorry for the inconsistent chapters. I'll get another one up today to apologise :)

Remus desperately hoped that Sirius wouldn’t ask about the pack. He knew that was unrealistic, but a man could dream. Sebastian had been at the pack, and he’d come onto Remus just as he had back when they were fifteen, then eighteen, then eighteen again. No matter how many times Remus stressed that he was engaged, Sebastian didn’t want to give up. To be fair, Remus had moved in with him. That’s pretty much the definition of mixed signals. He knew that no matter what Dumbledore said, this time he was going to tell Sirius the whole truth. So, he took a deep breath and begun.  
“Well, Suzanna was there still. She’s the same as she’s always been. Stephanie’s mother died a few months ago, and she went to the funeral. The same guy who got her pregnant when she was fifteen got her pregnant again-“  
“No!” Sirius gasped.   
“Yes,” Remus sighed. “Unfortunately yes. But she had the baby and she’s the best mother I’ve ever known, apart from Lily…” Remus trailed off.  
“And?” Sirius snapped.  
“Geez. Anyway, most of the kids are all grown up now, and quite a few of them decided to fight in the war. Apparently they remembered what I said all those years ago, and decided that this time they would fight.”  
“That’s amazing,” Sirius gaped. “I’m so proud of you.”  
Remus blushed and waved him off. “New kids have joined the pack. Renee, remember her? Yeah, well, she’s sort of become the leader. Suzanna’s getting sick. She’s still the Alpha, butt Renee’s next.” Sirius nodded in understanding and gestured for Remus to continue. “They asked me about the war straight up, and it seems like the younger adults, the ones seventeen and above, it seems like they really want to fight. They have some influence in other packs now. The people who are still there from last time I went already trust me. It’s going to be much easier this time.”  
Sirius smiled. “I’m glad it went well.” There was a rare awkward silence. “But you know what I want to know.”  
Remus sighed. “Yes. I do.”  
“So?” Sirius asked anxiously.  
“Sebastian was there.”  
“And?” Sirius was shaking now. “Did he do anything?”Remus really considered lying at this point. It would have been better for everyone if he did. But he promised, all those years ago, that he wouldn’t lie to Sirius anymore. So, although he knew that he would regret it, he opened his mouth. “He tried to kiss me.”  
Shockingly, there was no yelling. A single tear dripped down Sirius’ face. Somehow that was worse than the shouting.   
“Pads-“  
“Don’t.” Sirius whispered. “Please don’t.”  
“It was a second, and I pushed him away. I didn’t talk to him for the rest of the week, and when Suzanna found out he got put on probation and had to find his own food for four days. I love you, I’ve always loved you.”  
Sirius spoke, his voice breaking with every word. “You loved him once, too.”  
Remus grabbed Sirius’ hand. “No, I didn’t. I even told him I didn’t. I told him I only ever loved you. I told him that when I was sixteen, and I mean it to this day.”  
“Are you sure?” Sirius asked, looking up with tears in his eyes.  
“Yes my love,” Remus sighed lovingly. “Yes, I’m sure.”

—————————————————————

Remus was at the head of the table in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. It was extremely uncomfortable, at the head of the table, because everyone was looking at him and he felt suddenly very naked. Sirius clearly saw the concern in his eyes, because he placed his hand on Remus’ thigh and squeezed lightly. Sirius did this when he could tell Remus was nervous, and it had happened so many times that it had actually started to help.   
“Remus has recruited new fighters for this war. Everyone, please express your thanks!” Dumbledore exclaimed. Everyone started clapping for Remus, and he felt even more uncomfortable than he did before.  
“It was no problem,” he said simply, and nodded at those still clapping. They stopped. He expected they caught on to Sirius’ glare.  
“I’ll now pass over to Molly for the next update,” Dumbledore smiled. What was this, a sixth grade assembly? ‘Pass over to Molly’! ‘Next update’?!  
Sure enough, Molly took Dumbledore’s place at the other head of the table and smiled at everyone. Remus knew that Sirius didn’t like her, but she was as good as Harry’s mother. And she was a good mother, too.  
“Hello, everyone. Most of you know me, and I know most of you, and I know we all have important things to do so I’ll skip the introductions. Tomorrow, we’re going to need all but the permanent residents, yes, that’s you, Sirius and Remus, we’ll need everyone else to move out. I’m sure this is to Sirius’ delight.” Molly said the last part very quietly. Sirius, however, definitely heard, and Remus knew he would’ve been offended if what Molly said wasn’t so unbelievably accurate.   
There were moans from everyone, and general complaints of how much of a hassle it would be to move everything out.  
Tonks, however, remained excessively cheery, as always. She smiled almost maniacally at Remus (which wasn’t anything new, sure, but it was still weird) and raised her hand excitedly.   
“Yes, Tonks?” Molly asked warmly.  
“I don’t mind moving my things out, unless Sirius wants me to stay…?” Tonks asked hopefully, staring at Sirius.  
“Yeah, cousin, you can go, I’ll be fine! Don’t worry about me. Go home and get some proper rest,” Sirius said with a massive smile, a smile that was so obviously fake. Tonks looked incredibly put out, but she continued.  
“Well, I’m sure we will all cooperate, and I don’t mind leaving-“ Remus knew that she definitely minded leaving, and he also knew that he was the reason, but she continued nevertheless, “-I was just wondering why we’re all being ‘kicked out’?” She made it sound like ‘kicked out’ was a joke, but it was painfully obvious to Remus that it wasn’t. He felt her eyes burning into him from her seat across the table. He gave her a weak smile in return, mainly because he felt incredibly guilty not explaining to her WHY he couldn’t be with her, except for the obvious fact that she was thirteen years younger and beautiful. HE smiled because he couldn’t tell her that the real reason he couldn’t be with her was because he was with her cousin, and, well, she was a woman. So he smiled. Sirius kicked Remus under the table.   
“Oh of course darling, I was about to tell you,” Molly said happily. “Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Fred and George will be staying here for the summer!”  
Everyone smiled, but Remus braced himself for an explosion.  
“Excuse me, what the fuck?” Sirius stood up and asked.  
“Pardon me?” Molly said.  
“Was anyone planning on asking me if you could all move in to MY house?!” Sirius exclaimed.  
“We thought you would be pleased!”  
“I am pleased, but would it kill you to be polite? Would it kill you to say ‘Hey Sirius, can my entire family move in for the summer?’! Would it be that hard?!”   
“Sirius! Calm down!” Molly said, exasperated.  
“No! I will not calm down! You can’t move everyone in and then not allow me to ask Harry!”  
Everyone went silent. It was an unspoken rule, to not talk about the absence of Harry. Since the boy had seen Voldemort return, Remus, and everyone else (apart from Sirius, obviously) thought it was best to keep Harry out of The Order until it was absolutely necessary. He’d been through enough, and god knows he’ll go through more. He deserved a break, even if it was at his Aunt and Uncle’s.   
“Sirius, you know why we can’t ask Harry,” Dumbledore interjected.  
“Does anyone agree with me that it would at least be polite to ask my permission before inviting a troupe of children to stay at my house for two months?”  
Sirius stared at Remus, who seriously didn’t want to get involved.  
Then again, this was his boyfriend, and if the roles were reversed, he knew what Sirius would do for him.   
“Yes, Sirius, it would have been polite to be asked before plans were made,” Remus said calmly. “But we can discuss this without yelling. Please sit down.” Sirius opened his mouth top argus, but Remus just repeated “Please.” far more forcefully, and Sirius sat down in seconds.   
“Sirius, we just had to make sure the kids came, and we couldn’t risk you saying no!” Molly continued to exclaim.  
Sirius mumbled his answer into Remus’ ear before he stood up again. “I’m going to yell if I continue speaking. Remus will now speak for me. And Molly, your clothes don’t match your shoes.”  
Remus internally gasped, because insulting fashion was Sirius’ lowest form of insult. Molly looked subconsciously down at her shoes, and shuffled so that her skirt was covering them. Remus would make sure Sirius knew that even for him, that was a bit low.  
Sirius sat down, and Remus stood up, remembered it was his turn to speak. “Molly, Sirius would like to say that of course he would’ve agreed with you and allowed the kids to come and stay, do you know him at all? He says that he hates this house and mainly being lonely in it. He also added that you bastards, I’m sure for want of a better word-“  
“Nope, I actually just meant bastards.” Sirius interrupted.  
“Anyway,” Remus glared at Sirius, “He also added that you-“  
“Bastards,” Sirius huffed.  
“Sirius if you sleep interrupting me I’ll call you a bastard and leave myself.”  
“Fine,” Sirius sulked.  
“ANYWAY,” Remus exaggerated, regaining everyone’s attention, “Sirius added that you… bastards,” he said regretfully, “have been staying here rent free every night without permission and he hasn’t kicked any of you out to date. Considering this, why, Molly, why do you think that Sirius wouldn’t let your children stay?” Remus finished.  
Molly was silent for a moment. She looked slightly shocked. “I guess you have a point.”  
Sirius nodded. “I know I do.”  
Then, Remus heard the words that he never thought he would hear come out of Molly Weasley’s mouth. “I’m sorry, Sirius.”  
Remus swore Sirius almost fainted.

—————————————————  
The next day, Remus and Sirius began to prepare the house for the influx of guests it was about to accommodate. They banished boggarts from the bedrooms, and spent an hour trying yet again, unsuccessfully, to shut up the portrait of Walburga Black. Even after death Remus hated the woman. Satan’s mistress in life, and surely living in the first circle of hell by his side in death.  
Around twelve o’clock, there were stomps at the door, and voices that Remus recognised from the back of his classroom. Fred and George had burst in. Then the voice that was soft spoken and careful. Ginny Weasley had arrived. Then there was the voice that was so often accompanied by Harry’s. Ron. It was like a small part of Harry was here and Remus was glad for a moment that Sirius didn’t know Ron well, because it was hard enough for Remus to hear the boy’s voice without Harry’s. It would’ve been torture for Sirius.   
Molly and Arthur bustled in afterwards, levitating trunks and whatnot. They all greeted Remus and Sirius, politely, as Remus was sure they had been instructed to do so by Molly. They headed upstairs to locate their bedrooms for the next two months, and Sirius sat down next to Remus in the kitchen.  
“I’m proud of you,” Remus whispered into Sirius’ ear.  
“Why?” Sirius asked genuinely.  
“Because you wanted to scream just then and you kept a smile on your face,” Remus said quietly.  
Sirius turned to Remus and smiled subtly. “Yes, well, what was I supposed to do?”  
“You’re growing up, baby.”  
Sirius huffed. “Maybe I am.”  
They kissed, properly this time.   
And then they were interrupted by Fred and George apparating into the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey loves,  
> I hope you're all doing well.  
> I was going to kill Sirius and bring him back but I don't think I can do that to him, so Sirius lives without a taste of death! I hope you will all enjoy that.  
> I quite liked this chapter. Hermione comes in the next one and Sirius and Remus figure out how to shut up Fred and George. Should be amusing!  
> Love you all, and I'm sorry for being a crap uploader right now.  
> xoxo Gabs


	5. Sirius: The First Order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Remus tell some of the kids about what happened to everyone in the photo of the first Order, and what really happened the night that James and Lily died. The Weasleys find out what happened to their Uncles.  
> They reminisce, and someone finally knows about Wolfstar,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually don't get really emotional over stuff that's happened before books, but I had a massive cry last night about James and Lily and everyone who died in the First War fic. I wrote this chapter in honour of them.

“OH-“ began Fred.  
“MY-“ added George.  
“FUCK!” They both finished.  
Remus put his head into his hand’s and Sirius slapped his forehead. If anyone was to find out, Sirius definitely wouldn’t have chosen Fred and George.  
“Look-“  
“I don’t even know what to say,” Fred interrupted Remus.  
“Guys-“  
“This is… woah,” George cut Sirius off.  
“Could you LET US TALK!” Sirius exclaimed. He wasn’t sure where the anger had come from. He guessed it was the need to protect Moony.  
Fred and George suddenly became very quiet and took seats opposite Sirius and Remus (who had resorted to resting his forehead on the table).  
“Remus,” Sirius whispered, nudging his boyfriend. He had become very aware that Remus was much better at explaining these kinds of things.   
“Yes?” Remus asked sharply. Sirius pointed at the boys and Remus composed himself quickly. “Yes. Sorry. Before I begin, I’m assuming you two have a lot of questions?”  
Fred and George nodded rapidly.  
Remus sighed. “Sirius?”  
Sirius took the look he received as a sign to lock all of the doors and throw up a silencing charm. He nodded at Remus, who had frozen up. Sirius took it upon himself to be the adult for once, and begin.  
“What exactly do you want to know?”  
The boys spoke over each other and Sirius couldn’t understand a word that they were saying. He looked over at Remus and noticed that his fiancee was having a minor panic attack. Sirius hadn’t seen this happen to Remus in a long time, and he hated it.  
“ENOUGH!” Sirius yelled. “Enough.” He repeated softly. “This is very stressful for me-“ ‘and Remus!’ He mouthed silently, pointing at the man next to him- “so if you could please do this with as much composure as possible, that would be good.”  
Sirius fully expected the two boys to laugh or argue back, or completely ignore everything Sirius had said, but they clearly knew how serious this was. They just nodded silently.  
“George, how about you start?”  
Sirius would never admit it, but he saw Fred and George as modern day versions of James and himself. They were painfully similar. Just as clever, just as stupid, just as brilliant at pranks (well, almost as brilliant. No one rivalled the Marauders, nor would anyone ever). They weren’t as reckless, though. Sirius found himself respecting that. He almost threw up in his mouth a little when he realised respecting that made him (shudder) mature.  
“Okay,” George nodded. He looked at Fred and they seemed to telepathically communicate, as Sirius and Regulus once had, to choose what to ask first. Finally, George started.  
“Is this a new thing?”  
Sirius looked over at Remus, who was still frozen in his chair. Sirius realised that everyone in this room knew, so he could reach over and grab Remus’ hand. The man instantly relaxed, but remained silent. Sirius took this as a sign to speak himself.  
“Define new.”  
“Like, since you’ve been back at Grimmauld Place?”  
Remus scoffed (a good sign). The man looked up, finally, and spoke with a smile. “No. Compared to that, this is a very old thing.”  
Fred and George tried to hide its, but they were gaping. “Like, when you got back from Azkaban?” George asked. The twins were hanging onto every word that Remus and Sirius spoke.  
“Um, older than that,” Sirius said quietly.  
“WHAT?!” Fred yelled.  
“Fred!” Sirius hissed, glancing at Remus, who had tensed up again.  
“Sorry Professor Lupin,” Fred said guiltily.  
Remus smiled at the boys. “It’s quite alright. I would find it to be quite a shock too. Now, instead of this guessing game, we may as well tell you. We got together in sixth year.”  
“Holy fucking shit,” the twins said in unison.  
“That’s an appropriate response I think. Sirius?” Remus smiled at Sirius.  
“Yes,” Sirius nodded. “An appropriate response indeed.”  
The boys started talking over each other, but immediately silenced when they were hit with Sirius’ glare. Sirius was quite a nice person these days, he really was, but when it came to protecting Remus, he would be a monster if he had to be.  
“Fred, your turn,” Remus spoke up.  
Fred nodded. “So, what is this? Like, what are you two?”  
Sirius smiled and grabbed Remus’ left hand. He placed it on the table next to his own so that their rings were on show.  
“No way,” Fred gaped. “You’re married?”  
Remus chuckled. “No, not quite. One day though. We got engaged before Sirius was… taken.”  
“Can we hear the story?” George spoke up. They all looked at him, Fred looking alarmed at this show of emotion.  
“Uh, sure,” Sirius began. “We’d just finished having some wicked morning sex, and-“  
“SIRIUS!” Remus yelled. “NO! No, no, NO!”  
Sirius glanced over at the twins, who looked like they were about to be sick. “Ah, yes, sorry boys. Without those details, there isn’t actually much of a story. It wasn’t a big thing, but I thought it was romantic.”  
The twins shuddered. “That’s sickeningly sweet.”  
Remus and Sirius shared a smile. “It is, I guess.”  
“We don’t want to pry, and you know we aren’t into all this emotional shit, but we’ve always wondered what happened to the people in the photograph of the first Order. What happened to Neville’s parents? And to Marlene, was that her name?” Sirius nodded. “And Dorcas? And the Caradoc fella, and Fenwick-“  
Then Fred interrupted George with the one thing Sirius was hoping he wouldn’t have to answer. “What happened to our Uncles?”  
Remus sighed and put his head in his hands again.  
“I think we should sit somewhere more comfortable.”

The four of them unlocked the doors and made their way to the sitting room, but they were stopped by Ginny in the hallway.   
“Professor? Sirius?”  
“Yes, Ginny?” Remus answered with a smile. That man always had a smile for children, Sirius thought. It probably came from patience with James all those years.  
“I figured out how to break through that silencing charm.”  
Sirius internally freaked the fuck out. “How much did you hear?”  
Ginny frowned. “Well, it took me until two minutes before you left to actually get through it, so I heard you’re telling Fred and George what happened to The First Order. I want to know.”  
Remus sighed. “If we’re telling you, we should tell the others too-“  
“No!” Ginny exclaimed.  
“Why not?” Remus asked kindly.  
“Because they’re going to find out themselves. They’re going to know more than we ever will, so it would be nice if we hear this from you instead of through them.”  
“She has a point,” the twins added in unison.  
Everyone was quiet for a moment before Sirius exhaled. “Alright then. But we’re putting up a charm that can’t be broken this time.”

—————————————————

The three Weasley’s were sitting on the couch opposite Sirius and Remus. It felt an awful lot like an interview. Then, he realised, it kind of was.  
“What do you want to know? We’ll answer it all,” Sirius started. He just wanted to make these kids happy. Kids in this awful house deserved to be happy.  
“Maybe not all of it-“  
“All of it.” Sirius interrupted Remus. “All of it.” Remus threw his hands up as if to say ‘fine! Not my problem!’, and Sirius took that as permission to continue.  
“We’ll go in a line, I think.” Ginny spoke formally. The twins nodded. It appeared that they were almost afraid of their sister in these kinds of situations. Just how he and James had been afraid of Lily, Sirius remembered. He shook the thought off. This was going to be hard enough without pointless reminiscing.  
“Very well,” Ginny settled into her chair, “Could you tell us what happened with Peter? And why Sirius was in jail? We’ve heard some of it, but it doesn’t all fit together in my head. I’m not saying it’s your fault, Sirius, I just want to understand,” she added hastily at the end.   
Sirius waved her off. “It’s fine, Ginny. You want the long story or the short one?”  
Ginny thought for a moment. “Not the long one. The medium one?”  
“The medium one works,” Sirius smiled. He realised he actually hadn’t told this story since the day he saw Peter again, and then it was a bit rushed and he was sure he’d forgotten some details.   
“Sirius, are you sure?” Remus whispered in his ear.  
“Yes, my love, I’m sure,” Sirius whispered back.  
“Anyway,” he spoke to the three on the other side of the room, “This is how it happened.”  
He took a deep breath and begun.  
“Voldemort wanted to kill Harry. So-“  
“Why?” Ginny interrupted.  
“That’s another story, Ginny. I’ll tell that one. It’s a bit…” Remus trailed off.  
Ginny seemed to understand whatever it was that Remus meant, because she just nodded. “Continue. Please.”  
“Yes, well, Voldemort wanted to kill Harry. Remus and I were living next door to James and Lily in an apartment building in London. Marlene and Dorcas were below us, as were Neville’s parents, Caradoc, his two partners-“  
“Partners?!” Fred interjected.  
“Don’t ask,” Sirius laughed. “Your uncles were living there too.” The room became very sombre for a moment, but Sirius shook it off and continued. “The Order had been protecting Harry since his birth, and even before, but the time had come when there wasn’t enough magic in all of us combined to keep Voldemort’s army away. So we decided that we would put James, Lily and Harry under the Fidelius Charm, in a house, in Godric’s Hollow.”  
“And you were secret keeper?” Ginny asked.  
“That’s the thing,” Sirius sighed. “I was meant to be. We told everyone that I was, but we knew that I was the obvious choice. That the death eaters could come after me first. They’re thick like that. James and Lily knew I would never betray them, and Remus and I were going to but a Fidelius on our own apartment, Remus being the secret keeper. Halloween, 1981, I’ll never, ever forget the day… I went with James and Lily, and baby Harry, to their apartment, ready to cast the Fidelius. But what no one knew, except James, Lily, Harry and I, was that Peter was going to be the secret keeper. It was the perfect plan, in theory. He was going to go with them to the house and we were all going to pretend it was me who knew the address. It would have worked, without a hitch, except Peter,” Sirius spat the name with disgust, “was a spy. He told Voldemort the address of the house as soon as he was asked. Voldemort went to the house, destroyed it, killed James and Lily…” Sirius trailed off, trying desperately not to cry.   
Remus knew him better than anyone, and he took over the story. “And he tried to kill Harry, but for some reason it didn’t work. Sirius went to the house because he knew that something was wrong. He hadn’t heard from Peter, like he was meant to, so he flew his bike-“  
“Hagrid’s bike?!” Fred and George exclaimed.  
“MY bike,” Sirius huffed. “Anyway, I flew MY bike, took Harry, and I was going to raise him, me and Remus.” Ginny looked suspicious as she flicked her eyes between the two men, but wisely kept her mouth shut. “Hagrid turned up and said that he needed to take Harry to the muggle world, to his Aunt’s. It was safer for him there. I knew that, and I knew for once in my life that I couldn’t be selfish.” Sirius started getting angry, but it was at himself. It was at himself for not keeping Harry when he should have.   
“Hey, baby, it’s okay,” Remus whispered in his ear. “It’s not your fault, it’s okay. I love you, okay?”  
Sirius nodded and wiped his eyes. “I told Hagrid to take Harry, and to take my bike. I got angry. Someone had killed my brother, the person I was more in sync with that anyone else. My twin, my other half. Someone who I lived with, someone who I could call home. Peter took him away from me, and he took Lily away from Remus, and she was there for him every moment since first year. I’ve never seen a friendship with as much love as theirs. Peter took them away, and most importantly he took Harry away from me, from his parents, from Remus. A child born to James and Lily Potter is the luckiest child in the world. Peter took that family away. Broke it in half. Took MY family away. And I knew that everyone still thought that I was the secret keeper, everyone still thought that I betrayed them, my best friends, my family. The only family I’d ever had. So I got angry and I went after Peter. I found him in an alleyway full of Muggles and before I could get to him he cursed the muggles and cut off his finger, and then scurried off as a rat through the drains. I was left with the finger of my enemy, and twelve dead muggles. They took me to Azkaban without trial, or checking my wand, or using a pensive.”  
“That’s not fair! Why didn’t they check?!” Ginny shouted.  
“Because I didn’t have the best track record. Bellatrix is my cousin, I come from a family of Black’s. To the Ministry, I was the perfect spy. The Order believed it too.”  
Remus cleared his throat. “I didn’t.”  
Sirius smiled warmly at Remus. “Well, Remus didn’t. That’s all that matters.” Sirius slapped his hand over his mouth. Ginny was in the room.  
She pointed between the two of them and slowly opened her mouth until her jaw completely dropped. “NO!”  
Sirius and Remus both put their heads in their hands. “NO!” Ginny repeated. “DID YOU-“ she yelled at Fred and George who just smirked at her.  
“EXPLAIN!”  
Sirius had enough of explaining their relationship for one day, so he simply said “Together since sixth year. Now, if all of you want to know who the Marauders are, who made that map, and more information about when we’re getting married, you will not tell ANYONE about this. NO ONE. Got it?”   
The three of them nodded. “Yes. Got it. Please tell us about the rest of it?” Fred asked calmly.  
“Fine. What’s next?” Sirius asked.  
“What happened to Neville’s parents?” Ginny asked.  
“I think that’s for Neville to tell you,” Remus interrupted before Sirius could explain. “They’re alive. I’ll say that much. It’s best you don’t repeat anything that you hear in this room today.”  
“Of course not.” Ginny snapped.  
“We wouldn’t,” added Fred.  
“Never,” finished George. “What happened to Caradoc? Is that his name? And Fenwick? I don’t remember if that’s right. You know who I mean.”  
“Yes,” Sirius frowned. “I do know who you mean. I’ll be blunt, because they wouldn’t want me to get all soppy about it. Caradoc went missing, we looked all over the UK for him for three months and then Moody called it. He was gone. Never heard from again. Benjy, that’s Fenwick’s first name, he was blown to bits by Wilkes. Fucking awful death eater. Caradoc, Frank and your Uncles went ham on him every battle after Benjy died. There wasn’t even a body to collect.”  
“I think you know we have to ask,” Fred said quietly.  
“What happened to your Uncles?” The three of them nodded. “Well, this is brilliant, really. Those two went on a mission in Scotland with Moody. It was ten against three. They talked the entire way through the battle and the killing curse hit them both at the same time. Together in life, together in death. The only time they lived without each other was the minute in between them being born. They would have wanted it that way.”  
Fred and George exchanged a subtle smile. “That’s how we would want it.”  
Sirius and Remus nodded. “We thought so.”  
“Who killed them?” George asked.  
“I don’t know. I think Dolohov. But they died saving Moody. I don’t think he’s ever forgiven himself. I can be honest with you here though, and everyone who was in The Order with us then would agree, that they were the two best wizards I’ve ever known. They matched up to Moody. Once they were gone, Moody went a bit psycho on the death eaters there. He killed one, and The Order doesn’t ever kill. He cursed them so that they’d never fight again, or even hold a wand. Best part out of all of this is that the Prewetts, as marvellous as they were, excelled with castrating death eaters. It was brilliant, really. They would’ve loved you.”  
Fred was hiding his face, and Ginny looked shocked. “Ginny?” Asked Remus.  
“I’ve just never seen either of them cry,” she explained.   
“Shut up,” hissed George, who slung an arm around his brother.  
“One more thing before these two ask you about that map they’re always on about,” Sirius smiled. That map was everything. “Marlene and Dorcas. They’re so beautiful. What happened to them?”  
“They left. Death eaters were hunting them for months and eventually they decided it would be safer for all of us if they left Britain. We actually don’t know if they’re alive. I’m holding out hope, just a little, even though I know I shouldn’t, that one day they’ll turn up on this doorstep, or at the old headquarters, and tell us that they’re okay, and that they missed us. They were married, those two. And yes, Ginny, they were so beautiful.” Sirius smiled at the memories.  
“Great. Now, please Professor, please Sirius, tell us who the Marauders were. Tell us, we beg you, about the map.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I'll have another one up soon.   
> I think I'm going to bring Marlene and Dorcas back because I love them and I miss James and Lily more but I can't bring them back. When I've finished this series I'm going to write a fic where James and Lily live because I miss my babies :((
> 
> Should I bring back Marlene and Dorcas? Let me know.
> 
> xoxoxoxo Gabs


	6. Remus: The Marauders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus spills the secrets of the Marauders Map.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a filler chapter, but I LOVE the next one :)

The map. How did one even begin to explain the map? Remus could see that telling those stories had emotionally exhausted Sirius to the point of no return today, so he knew it was his turn. He really wished that James was here. He often did, but no one except James could do this map justice. But James wasn’t here. He hadn’t been for a while. So Remus had to try.  
“Ah, yes. The map. I can definitely state that The Marauders were absolutely brilliant. Hogwarts finest, I believe. Mssrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs were somewhat of an enigma. No one has ever caused as much trouble as those four. Fred and George, you’re getting close, but I believe the legacy of the Marauders will live on forever. Just as it should.” Fred and George smiled at that.  
“So, who were they?” Fred asked. The twins were hanging onto Remus’ every word.  
Remus didn’t know how to say it. He was about to tell them that two of their idols were sitting right in front of them. Two of the most brilliant pranksters that Hogwarts had ever seen were sitting on a couch opposite them. It was almost exciting, getting to see the looks on their faces.  
“You really want to know?” Sirius added mischievously.  
“YES! More than anything. Are they still alive? They definitely deserve to be alive. That map is the finest magic I’ve ever seen.”  
“Thank you, George,” Remus smirked.  
“Wait. What?” Fred said, his voice shaking.  
“Peter was Wormtail. Wormtail because his animagus was a rat. He didn’t do much. Mainly just followed us around. He was a good friend, once upon a time. James was Prongs. His animagus was a stag, you see. The Prongs caused a lot of physical damage to our apartments once upon a time. And I would like you to meet Padfoot-“ Remus pointed at a smirking Sirius, “-and Moony.” He gestured towards himself.  
The twins almost fainted. They actually almost fainted.  
“You are…” Fred began.  
“So. Fucking. Cool.” George gasped.  
“Thank you. I agree. That map took a long time, and I’m glad it is still the secret to someone’s success, even if Filch took it from us in seventh year.”  
Ginny put her hand up awkwardly. “You guys were animagi? Like, in school?”  
Sirius chuckled. “Third year.”  
“NO!” The redheads all exclaimed. “NO WAY!”  
“I had the same reaction. They knew I was a werewolf, and they knew that when I was alone during the moons I ended up with horrible injuries because without entertainment the wolf hurts itself. But they couldn’t accompany me as humans… no matter how much I loved them, wolves hate humans. So they decided, naturally, that actually becoming animals was the obvious solution,” Remus said sarcastically.  
“Hey! It made complete sense! Still does!” Sirius exclaimed.  
“I know, I know. I’m very thankful, my love, I really am.” It felt so, so good to be able to say ‘my love’ in front of real people these days. “They kept me company during the moons, and it was incredibly irresponsible, everything that we did those nights, but it was also so, so, so fun. The best nights of my life.”  
“Hey, that night in our room with the bars and-“  
“SIRIUS!” Remus yelled. “THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THE ROOM!”  
Ginny looked like she was going to be sick. “It’s not that you’re gay, or together, it’s just that you’re my Professor,” she tried to explain.  
“It’s okay Ginny! It is. I’m honestly shocked you’re all okay with this,” Sirius said nervously.  
“Why wouldn’t we be?” Said the twins in unison.  
“There are some very cruel people in this world, kids,” Remus sighed.  
“Can I say something?” Sirius spoke up.  
They all responded with a variation of ‘yes’.  
“James and Lily, Marlene and Dorcas, Alice and Frank, your Uncles, Caradoc, Benjy, and frankly both of us… we all deserved more. That’s why we’re working so hard to fight this war. Because we don’t want you to lose all your friends like we did. It was horrible. It still is.”   
The whole room went silent for a minute.  
“I’m really, really sorry,” Ginny said, with tears in her eyes.  
“It’s fucking awful,” George whispered.  
“I’m sorry too,” added Fred.  
“You don’t need to be sorry,” Remus smiled.  
“But thank you,” Sirius finished.  
It was awkward, the silence, so Remus thought he’d add something in.  
“You know when I go on those missions?” The kids all nodded. “I go to a werewolf pack. The same one I went to when I was in The Order back then. They helped us fight. They’re magnificent witches and wizards. The nicest people I know, too.”  
“Apart from Sebastian,” Sirius muttered quietly.   
Clearly not quietly enough, because Ginny said “Oooh! Who’s Sebastian?”  
Remus said “No one!”   
At the same time as Sirius said “A right bastard!”  
“Oh dear,” Ginny sighed.   
“He’s-“ Remus began.  
“Wait!” Fred interrupted. “Can we guess?”  
“Wow,” Sirius said. “You guys are really starved for entertainment around here.”  
Remus glared at Sirius and then smiled at the kids. “Yes, of course you can guess.”  
“Sebastian dated Remus in school,” Fred began.  
“They broke up because Remus was in love with Sirius,” George continued.  
“Sebastian joined the pack,” Fred added.  
“And Then Remus had to go and stay with him and Sirius got jealous!” Fred finished.  
“How the fuck did you know that?!” Sirius exclaimed.  
“We’re quite observant,” George smirked.  
“You have to be, when you play as many pranks as we do,” Fred paused for a moment. “But you know all about that.”  
“Yes, Fred, we do.”   
“Would you tell us about some of them?” George asked, on the edge of his seat with interest.  
“YES!” Sirius yelled. “I would love to!”  
“Ginny, shall we depart?” Remus said, smiling.  
“God, yes please. I hear enough of these pranks through the walls at night,” she sighed.  
Remus knew that Sirius needed this. Needed to relieve memories with James.   
But Remus also needed to relive memories with Lily, and he knew that Ginny wanted to hear them.   
The two of them sat in the kitchen and talked about weddings, and love, and the miracle that was Lily Evans.

——————————————————

Ginny and Remus wandered back into the sitting room after almost two hours of talking. Remus was quite comfortable around the young girl. He suspected it was her similarity to Lily that made it so easy to have a conversation.   
The boys were in a huddle on the floor, whispering and laughing.  
“You three done yet?” Ginny said loudly.  
They all jumped. “Uh…” Sirius looked at the other two guiltily. “To be continued?” He suggested.  
“Definitely,” the twins said in unison.  
“Remus and I are going to go lie down for a bit,” Sirius explained.   
Ginny scrunched up her face. “We can’t say that anymore without you guys reading into it, can we?” Remus sighed.  
“No you cannot.” Ginny said certainly.  
“We think it’s funny,” George smirked.   
“Absolutely hilarious,” added Fred.  
“I’m serious, guys. Please don’t tell anyone. We don’t need that right now. And we trusted you with that information, so please let us trust you with this,” Sirius said seriously. It was very odd.  
“We won’t,” Ginny smiled.  
“Secret’s safe with us,” Fred said.  
“Lips are sealed,” finished George.  
“Thank you, all three of you,” Remus said, relieved.  
“Go have a kip, Sirius. Thanks for telling us all of that, but you look tired.” Fred said.  
“Love comments on my appearance Fred. So kind, so kind,” Sirius said, winking.  
“Bye lover boys!” The twins whispered in unison.  
Sirius gave them the finger behind his back.

—————————————————

“Sirius, it’s only two weeks,” Remus said sadly. He was to depart for the pack today, and leaving Sirius was always horrible.  
“Too long,” Sirius huffed. “Too long.”  
“Baby,” Remus sighed, sitting down on the bed and slinging his arm around Sirius, “It’s okay. I’ll be back soon, and nothing is going to happen there, remember?”  
Sirius looked at Remus suspiciously, before his face relaxed and he smiled. “Okay. I love you.”  
Remus beamed. “I love you too.”  
Remus got up to leave. He picked up his rucksack and slung it over his shoulder, he grabbed his wand and shoved it inside his cardigan where Molly had sewn a pocket.  
Just as he reached the doorway, Sirius stopped him. “Remus?”  
“Yeah, Pads?” Remus responded, turning around.  
“When this is over, this really bad bit, can we tell people?”  
Sirius looked nervous and Remus thought it was adorable. “Yeah. I think that’s a good idea. When the bad bit’s over, yeah.”  
Sirius got up and gave his fiancee a slow kiss. Regretfully, Remus turned to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update, I can't being back Marlene and Dorcas but I do have a full plan for the rest of the fic now!  
> Please get excited for the next chapter, I LOVE it.  
> xoxo Gabby


	7. Sirius: The Advance Guard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's been expelled, Dumbledore's an enigma and they're all yelling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE this chapter. I hope you love it too :))

Sirius absolutely hated it when Remus was gone. It was better now that he’d become somewhat of a mentor to Fred and George, because he felt useful for once, and it appeared Remus had had a word with Dumbledore because suddenly Sirius’ opinions were held in very high regard during the meetings. Hermione arrived a week ago, and it appeared Ron was strangely nervous around her. Sirius quite liked Hermione. She was smart, she was kind. She was an awful lot like Lily Evans.   
Sirius knew he and Remus should stop comparing these kids to the kids that they used to be, but it was hard not to. These kids were growing up during a war, just as they had. Fred and George were just like the Prewetts. They were modern day versions of Sirius and James. Ginny was just like Lily, and Hermione was similar too. Ron was Marlene, in every way. Foul mouthed, defensive and would do anything for his friends. And then there was Harry. Harry who was a beautiful mix of Lily and James, and even Sirius and Remus too. That boy came from two opposites and somehow landed in the perfect middle. Every day away from Harry hurt Sirius more and more. He spent all those years locked up after Harry’s 15 month birthday, before that he’d spent every day with his Godson. It was almost worse now, because the possibility was there, he could be with Harry, he just wasn’t. He understood the technicalities, sure, but Harry was the only person Sirius could ever love more than Remus, and no matter what the reason was, it still sucked not to be with him.

The days passed by quickly this time. Remus had been gone for almost the full two weeks, and Sirius hadn’t sulked nearly as much as last time. There was a meeting that afternoon. It was going quite well, and Sirius stood, head of the table, speaking about something he understood better than anyone: mischief. Unfortunately, he was interrupted.  
There was a loud bang at the front of the house and everyone instinctively drew their wands. There were two cracks of apparition and Fred and George appeared behind Sirius, wands out. Molly was giving them a hard time, but Sirius knew that when a meeting was stopped so suddenly, something bad had happened. And someone appeared to be breaking into the house, which was considerably bad also.  
“Who is it?” Dumbledore asked calmly. Sirius absolutely hated the man’s composure in these situations.  
“Just me!” Arthur called from the front of the house.  
“Bloody hell Arthur! WARN US NEXT TIME!” Shrieked Molly, who was falling back into her chair.  
Arthur rushed into the dining room where everyone had taken their seats.  
“You’re not meant to be home until after dinner,” Sirius observed. He’d taken the time to get to know everyone’s schedules. Remus was rubbing off on him.   
“Good observation, Sirius,” Arthur said with a wink. From anyone else this would’ve sounded sarcastic, but Arthur was completely genuine.   
“So, love, why are you here? We’re in the middle of a meeting… maybe you could join us,” Molly suggested. “Also,” she stared behind Sirius, “Would you two GET OUT OF THE MEETING ROOM!” There were two cracks and Fred and George were gone.  
“We have a problem,” Arthur began. “A really, really big problem.”  
“Is it Remus?” Sirius snapped. Then he realised he had two people to worry about. “Is it Harry?!”  
Arthur was silent before Sirius’ glare broke him. “It’s Harry.”  
Sirius was going to be sick. “What happened?!”  
Arthur started nervously pacing. “Two dementors attacked Harry in a tunnel close to his house.”  
“TWO DEMENTORS?!” Molly, Sirius, Emmeline, Hestia, Dedalus, Strugis AND Elphias yelled at the same time.  
“Yes,” Arthur repeated guiltily. “Two dementors. But that isn’t the worst part.”  
“THAT ISN’T THE WORST PART?!” Molly and Sirius shouted in unison.  
“No, unfortunately not. Harry had to use the Patronus charm. It was very convenient that he was practiced in the area,” Arthur said, trying, unsuccessfully, to shed some light on the situation.  
“Excuse me while I contact the guard,” Dumbledore said softly, exiting the room. He had a good point, thought Sirius. Wizards were meant to be around, supervising Harry twenty-four seven this summer. So how did he end up alone with dementors?  
“Yes,” Sirius called out after him. “Please do.”  
“Arthur, what’s the worst part?” Molly said worriedly.  
“He’s gotten done for underage magic. It’s his second warning and because it was such advanced magic, he’s been expelled.”  
“HE’S WHAT?!” Yelled everyone in the room.  
Arthur was still pacing. “He was in the company of a muggle. He saved his cousin, but unfortunately his cousin cannot see dementors, as you know, so it appears to the Ministry that Harry cast the charm for no reason.”  
“But there were dementors!” Hestia exclaimed.  
“Yes,” Arthur sighed. “But the Ministry is denying sending them, and they will sooner collapse than actually admit that Voldemort is back, let alone that the dementors are under his control.”  
Sirius couldn’t remember ever being this angry. “So Fudge is willing to expel a young boy for protecting himself and an innocent but he isn’t willing to accept that dementors somehow defected?”  
Arthur finally stopped pacing and sat down. “Yes, Sirius, that just about covers it.”  
“What’s actually going on?” Molly said, openly freaking out.  
“I left to come and tell you as soon as I heard the news. Kingsley and Tonks are getting more information. They said they would come as soon as possible.”  
“Has anyone contacted the boy?” Dedalus asked. “Someone should contact the boy!”  
“I’ve sent him a message saying that under no circumstances should he relinquish his wand.”  
“Why would they want to take his wand?” Emmeline asked. She was on the brink of tears.  
“Because they want to break it.”  
“No. That’s enough. Break Harry’s wand? For doing nothing wrong? How fucking IGNORANT CAN YOU BE?!” Strugis uncharacteristically yelled. “Could SOMEONE GET KINGSLEY AND TONKS?!”  
As if on cue, the door slammed shut and something was knocked over in the hall. Walburga started screaming again and a voice called out “Sorry!” Meaning Tonks must be here. A low voice spoke an incantation of some sort from the sitting room and Walburga promptly silenced, meaning Kingsley was here too.  
“Please, please tell me you have good news,” Sirius begged. He usually wasn’t this vulnerable but this was Harry, his Harry, and Remus wasn’t here to help.  
“We have news, but unfortunately it isn’t good,” Kingsley spoke from the doorway.  
“Fucking hell,” Sirius whispered under his breath. Emmeline rubbed soothing circles on his back, just as she had when he was eighteen.  
“Basically, they want to expel Harry and snap his wand, preventing him from ever using magic again.”  
“Way to sugar coat it, cousin,” Sirius snapped.   
“Sirius, she is just as stressed as you are,” Molly defended Tonks.  
“No!” Sirius exclaimed. “NO ONE is just as stressed as I am! He’s my godson!”  
“I’m as stressed!” Molly yelled.  
“He’s not your son!” Sirius responded.  
“He’s AS GOOD AS!” Molly shouted. Sirius didn’t have a retort for that. If he did yell back, he knew Azkaban would be brought up, and he REALLY wasn’t in the mood.  
The whole room was completely silent for a moment.  
“Anyway,” Kingsley broke the tension, “Dumbledore reminded Fudge that the Ministry didn’t actually have any control over who does and doesn’t go to Hogwarts, that responsibility falls on the head-“  
“Wait,” Hestia interrupted. “Dumbledore’s in the sitting room.”  
They all looked at each other because she was correct. He went into the sitting room and no one heard him leave. He couldn’t apparate outside of the house, and the door never closes, only slams.  
“I can assure you that I just saw him in Fudge’s office,” Kingsley added.  
“I did too,” Tonks whispered, not wanting to agitate Sirius further. Saying she was just as stressed as him was a big mistake. At least she knew it.  
No one chose to point out how Dumbledore was almost above actual magic. That conversation could wait. It’s not like he didn’t pull this kind of thing at least twice a week.   
“Well, what did Dumbledore say?” Arthur brought back the conversation.  
“Oh, yes. Dumbledore said that the Ministry has no ability to expel students, and that that duty falls on the Headmaster. Unfortunately, Fudge seems to have a vendetta against Harry because he decided to tell people the truth about Voldemort, so Fudge has taken it to the, how do I put it…” Tonks trailed off.  
“Next level.” Kingsley finished.  
“The next level?” Molly asked, her voice shaking. Harry was as good as her son, Sirius knew that, but Sirius was the one who James and Lily entrusted their son to and nothing could change that. That was mostly thought for his own sake.  
“Yes. Fudge can’t expel children from Hogwarts, but he can shun them from the Wizarding World. Break their wands, make magic illegal, punishable by Azkaba-“  
“ANYWAY,” Emmeline interrupted. “What can he do about it now?”  
Sirius was incredibly grateful that Emmeline changed the subject. As soon as the word Azkaban was spoken, everyone whipped their heads around to Sirius. She also knew that the idea of Harry in Azkaban was enough to genuinely kill Sirius. It was enough to make him lose his mind all over again.  
“Yes, well,” Tonks seemed to be getting her thoughts in order, “Dumbledore said he’d be back here to update us soon, so-“  
Right on cue, Dumbledore waltzed in from the sitting room.   
“Okay, someone’s got to ask. How did he get back from there?” Hestia said, voicing everyone else along with her.   
“A magician never reveals his secrets. Is that the muggle phrase? It’s funny, because it could be a wizard never reveals-“  
“Albus, as much as I appreciate this little trip down Muggle lane, we have bigger problems.”  
Everyone gasped at Molly’s blatant disrespect for Dumbledore. Sirius never heard anyone speak to the man like that. He was somewhat of an enigma, Dumbledore, and no one ever questioned the odd things that he said. Clearly Harry was different. Important.  
“Sorry, Molly. I appear to be incredibly stressed.” Sirius noticed that Dumbledore didn’t say ‘as stressed as you are’ because apparently this man knew everything.  
“Understandable,” Sirius said, surprising everyone in the room INCLUDING himself.  
“Right,” Dumbledore couldn’t even hide his shock, “Anyway, Fudge has agreed to give Harry a trial.”  
“A TRIAL?!” Everyone except Tonks, Dumbledore and Kingsley yelled. “A FUCKING TRIAL?” Sirius repeated. Not even HE got a trial, and he was sentenced to life.  
“Yes,” Dumbledore frowned. “I tried to explain how ridiculous this all is, but Fudge is somewhat of a stubborn man, and frankly I’m surprised he even listened enough to give him that.”  
Everyone was silent before Dedalus spoke up. His voice was so filled with anger that it came out calm. “Could someone,” he inhaled, “please,” he clenched his fist, “tell us,” she gritted his teeth, “WHO ABANDONED THEIR POST?!”  
Everyone had forgotten that this entire debacle was due to a member of The Order leaving their post and once they had all realised that the room became very, very tense.  
“Well, we found all of this out thanks to Arabella Figg, who did not abandon her post, but she is q squib, meaning there was nothing that she could do to help Harry.”  
“Yes,” Sirius growled, “But who abandoned their post?”  
Dumbledore sighed. “Mundungus Fletcher.”  
“I am going to KILL HIM!” Strugis shouted, getting up from the table and walking towards the front door.  
“WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” Elphias called after him.  
“I DON’T KNOW!” Sturgis screamed back, and slammed the door behind him.  
Then, all over again, Walburga started screaming.

———————————————

The Order had been discussing what to do for an hour now when an owl tapped at the window. Dumbledore took the scroll and somehow, silently, got everyone’s attention.  
“Harry’s Aunt and Uncle have taken his cousin to the muggle hospital-“  
“But-“  
“DESPITE Harry repeatedly telling them that there was nothing that they could do and that chocolate was the best remedy.”  
“He must have sounded barking,” Sirius sighed.  
“Fair point, Sirius,” Dumbledore nodded. “So Harry is currently alone and at great risk of further harm, so this is where the Advance Guard comes into play.”  
They all knew how this process went. They’d gone over this so many times, but now that the risk was real, everyone seemed lost.  
“Everyone, please prepare your brooms and wait in the sitting room.”  
Emmeline interrupted as Dumbledore walked out of the kitchen, “But Remus and Moody-“  
“I’m taking care of that now, Emmeline, if you could apparate to Sturgis and collect him from Knockturn Alley, that would be great. Five minutes?”  
“Five minutes,” Emmeline nodded, and rushed out the door, which yet again slammed behind her. Walburga screamed for the fourth time that night.  
“I’ll fix it,” Dumbledore called from the sitting room.   
Sirius unlocked the broom cupboard and five minutes later, the door opened and slammed again. Sturgis and Emmeline ran back in and started preparing without a word. Dumbledore silenced Walburga for the fifth time.  
Less than a minute later the door slammed again and the familiar clack of a peg leg knocked down the hall. Moody.   
“WOULD SOMEONE SHUT THAT OLD COW UP!” Moody yelled before he’d even entered the kitchen. The painting kept screaming. “I’LL DO. IT THEN, SHALL I?!”  
As soon as the painting stopped shrieking, Moody limped into the kitchen. “Where the bloody hell is Dumbledore?!”  
“He’s in the sitting room!” Sirius said exasperatedly.  
“No, son, he’s not.”  
“WHERE DOES HE GO?!” Hestia yelled.  
“Calm down, love,” Emmeline said softly.  
“I JUST WANT TO KNOW!”  
Just in case the house wasn’t chaotic enough, the door fucking slammed.  
Dumbledore silenced the painting, but the screams were worth it this time, because into the kitchen burst Remus Lupin.  
“Remus!” Sirius exclaimed. He noticed that he wasn’t the only one who had said that. He whipped around and saw Tonks wrap her arms around Remus’ neck. Sirius felt himself burn with rage and grabbed a broom and rushed it over to Remus.  
“Tonks, not now. We have bigger issues. Can you move?” Sirius snapped, admittedly far too aggressively.  
“Sorry, Sirius,” Tonks frowned. Sirius almost felt guilty for hurting her feelings. Almost.  
“Talk later, Dora,” Remus called after her. She beamed in response.  
“Seriously?” Sirius hissed at Remus. “Talk later, Dora?” He mimicked.  
“I’m trying not to burn bridges, Sirius, but hello to you too.” Remus snapped.  
Sirius had no retort for that. “Can you just lay off. You’re leading her on. You know it.”  
Remus appeared not to have a retort for that either. “Fine. I missed you,” Remus changed his tone.  
Sirius tried not to grin, but eventually he gave in. “Missed you too, baby. Now, give me your shit and take the broom.”  
“Yes sir,” Remus smiled.   
Sirius placed Remus’ things in a corner and ran around fastening assorted defence mechanisms on people’s brooms, just as they’d practiced.  
“TWO MINUTES!” Dedalus yelled. “OUT THE DOOR, NOW!”  
Everyone rushed into the hallway, but Remus stayed back.  
“What is it?” Sirius asked nervously.  
“I just wanted to do this,” Remus smiled, and kissed Sirius deeply on the lips.  
“Oh,” Sirius blushed as they pulled away. “Okay.”  
Remus smiled and squeezed Sirius’ hand. “I’ve got to go now, okay?”  
Sirius nodded. “Okay. Be safe.”  
“I will.”  
Sirius watched them all walk out the door and slam it. Even through the screams of his bitch of a mother, he wished he was going to help them.

—————————————————

Sirius sat on the couch twiddling his thumbs when Molly came in.  
“I’m sorry, Sirius. I know he’s your Godson. I don’t want to step on your toes. I just see him as my son too, you know?” She held out some biscuits.  
Sirius smiled at the gesture of peace. “I know. Thank you. And thank you for the biscuit, too.”  
“Yes, well,” she looked around nervously. “Can you do something for me?”  
“Yes, of course,” Sirius answered. If Molly actually asked for his assistance voluntarily, it must be important.  
“I kept the kids upstairs for that whole meeting, even though they so badly wanted to come down. They need to know what’s going on.”  
Sirius cocked his head. “And you want me to tell them?”  
“Yes,” she nodded.  
“But you say I always tell the kids too much,” he frowned.  
“Yes,” she smiled, sitting down opposite him. “And you do. But I think this is one of the situations where it’s best for them to find everything out from a friend.”  
Sirius tried not to appear too excited. “I’m hardly considered a friend.”  
Molly chuckled. “I think you’d find that they consider you to be a very good friend. Like the best friend and uncle and godfather and cool older brother that they never had. You remind them of their uncles,” she whispered the last part.  
Sirius was genuinely touched. “I do?”  
She nodded. “You remind me of them too.”  
Something strange happened then. Molly Weasley actually brought Sirius Black into a hug. And the stranger part was that it was like receiving a hug from Euphemia Potter all over again. It was like receiving a hug from someone he never got to say goodbye to. It was exactly what he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my loves!  
> I'm writing more regularly now and I'm really enjoying it.  
> Comment and kudos xxx  
> Gabby x


	8. Remus: The Advanced Guard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry gets rescued and Tonks gets awkward.

Dumbledore had summoned him while he was with the pack. This was a risky move, considering how much the pack hated magic, but all it took was the explanation that this was part of the war for them to nod their heads, hug him, and send him on his way. Dumbledore didn’t say much in his patronus. He just said that there was an emergency to do with Harry and that he was required at Grimmauld Place right away. ‘Emergency’ and ‘Harry’ in the same sentence was enough for him to pack up and apparate back to London instantly.  
There hadn’t been any trouble with Sebastian this time around. Remus pretty much avoided him the whole time and Sebastian seemed to respect that for once. Remus suspected that Suzanna had had a word to the boy, because she was being very passive towards Sebastian and very attentive to Remus’ needs.

Upon arrival, Remus saw Sirius’ face light up at the first sight of his fiancee. Sirius’ smile was beautiful. He’d thought so since second year and he thought so now. Remus was ready to throw his arms around Sirius, and he honestly didn’t care at that moment who was watching, but Tonks beat Sirius to it. Remus found himself very slightly attracted to Tonks, but he suspected he just enjoyed the attention, no matter how guilty it made him feel. Still, no one could ever compare to Sirius. They were soulmates. That’s just the way it was. And that’s the way Remus liked it.  
Sirius was jealous of Tonks, and Remus knew that, although he didn’t know how to get it across to Sirius that she was no threat. No one was any threat when Sirius was around, or even during the twelve years when he wasn’t. Still, Remus knew he had to get the message across to Tonks that he wasn’t available without giving away he and Sirius’ relationship. They kept saying that they would tell people after the bad part was over, but deep down they both knew that the bad part was only just beginning. Maybe it hadn’t even started yet. If no one knew about their relationship then it was safe. If no one knew then no one could use it against them, and the idea of anyone making this relationship a bad thing made Remus sick to his stomach. Sirius was so broken, but so good and so beautiful… Remus wouldn’t let anyone hurt him. And if that meant keeping their relationship a secret for the time being, then that’s what they’d have to do. And it wasn’t so bad. The sneaking around kept them young. That’s what Sirius said, at least, even though he was only saying it to make himself feel better. Remus knew that Sirius wanted to tell people but he knew that if both of them weren’t one hundred percent on the idea, then a secret it would remain.

——————————————————

Remus looked over his shoulder at Sirius as he walked out the door with his broom. He wasn’t all that fond of broomsticks in general, he found that men who did ride brooms professionally were probably less fertile than those who avoided them (so to speak). Tonks was watching him intently and he tried to smile as platonically as he could in response. Judging by the fact that she was walking over to him, he was clearly unsuccessful.  
“Hey, Rem,” Tonks smiled. She was far too cheery for someone about to fly across England on a rescue mission.  
“Hey, Dora,” he forced himself to use the nickname she had designated to him.  
“How was the mission?”  
Remus expected her to say ‘how was the pack’ but he remembered that no one except Dumbledore and Sirius and Lily… he shook his head. Not Lily. Lily’s gone. No one except Dumbledore and Sirius knew that he was with an actual pack, the others just knew he was on a werewolf related mission. He kept his description as vague as possible.  
“Oh, you know. Got a few more people willing to fight with us, that’s what’s important,” he smiled. Vague, check.  
“You’re amazing, Rem.” Tonks beamed up at him. From her position, and her facial expression, Remus was reminded just how young she really was. He realised that he wasn’t attracted to her, he was flattered by the attention he was getting from a young and admittedly beautiful witch. Tonks hair turned a brighter pink while he fastened a sneakascope to his broom.  
Just when Remus began feeling awkward, well, more awkward, Moody started shouting.  
“OI!” Remus quickly diverted his attention to Moody. He was beyond thankful for the distraction.  
“EVERYONE READY?” Moody yelled. Remus looked around and noticed that it didn’t appear anyone could see them. Muggles were looking straight through them, as if they were invisible. Knowing Dumbledore, they probably somehow were.  
“YES SIR!” They all responded. Best follow Moody’s procedures to a tee in this kind of operation.  
“OK. You know your formations! Tonks in front of the boy-“  
“We can just call him Harry, you know,” Elphias pouted. Remus assumed the man would be too old to be good on a broom, same with Dedalus, but he internally shrugged and guessed he’d find out.  
“Problem, Doge?” Moody sneered.  
“No sir,” Elphias said with the same venom.  
“Fine! Tonks in front of Harry!”  
“Yes Sir!” Tonks yelled. Moody was her mentor, so she would do as she was told.  
“Lupin, underneath!”  
“Got it!” Remus yelled back. Moody glared at him. “Yes Sir!” Remus repeated. Moody gave him a brief nod and moved on.  
“I’ll fly behind. Everyone else, circling. Got it?!”  
“YES SIR!” They all yelled. A muggle or two looked around, saying ‘did you hear that?’, but they clearly chalked it up to teenagers yelling on the streets and moved on.  
“Are we under a concealment charm?” Tonks asked.  
Moody glared at her. “Do we have time for this?” he yelled.  
“No, sorry Moody,” she said guiltily.  
Moody gave her a rare smile, or the weird lips-turned-up thing that he considered a smile. She instantly calmed.  
“OKAY,” Moody regained everyone’s attention. “Time to go. Remember-“  
“CONSTANT VIGILANCE!” They all yelled.  
“You’ve got it. Mount your brooms, let’s go!”

The next hour or so was mainly filled with them trying to practice staying in formation. They’d practiced many times, but this was different. This time there was pressure, lots of it, and risk if they failed. They couldn’t fail, Remus reminded himself. They just couldn’t. Remus couldn’t lose Harry, and he had to get this right for Sirius. He’d failed him so many times. He had to get his Godson back.  
It was getting windy, but they were close to Surrey. Remus was nervous about seeing Harry again. He had left Hogwarts very abruptly, and every second he spent walking away from the boy was torture. Harry was his family, but he didn’t even know that. He didn’t know that Remus held him the day that he was born, and that Remus fought off death eaters so that he was safe more than once, or twice, or three times. Harry didn’t know how much Remus loved his mother, how she was everything to him. Harry didn’t know that James was his best friend, and that he’d spent every year in a dorm with the boys since hew as eleven. As Remus flew through the sky, he realised just how much Harry did not know. He hoped Sirius hadn’t realised the same thing. Sirius would want to tell him, tell him about everything, but Remus knew that the less Harry knew about the past, about his parents, the better. Harry couldn’t get stuck in the past while he was so desperately trying to hold on to his present. He couldn’t get stuck in the past when there wasn’t even a definite future. He was in danger. He couldn’t spend all of his time protecting Sirius and Remus, and if he found out all that they’d done for him as a child, that’s exactly what he’d do. The time would come when he and Sirius would tell Harry, the time would come when he would know everything about his parents. All the pranks they played, his parents’ wedding, the nights spent in Sirius’ bar playing truth or dare even though they were far too old for it. The time would come when he would know how his parents fell in love, and everything that had happened to them, goo, bad and evil. And a lot of it was evil. It was best that the save him from that, until this was over. Because it would end, he reminded himself as they started descending. This would end, and maybe he, Sirius and Harry could be a real family. Not the one that Harry was meant to have, Remus thought as he touched down outside Harry’s house, not the one he was meant to have, but one that’s pretty damn close.

“OI! LUPIN! GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!” Moody yelled.  
“SHUT UP!” Elphias hissed into Moody’s ear. It looked like Moody was going to have a fit, but Elphias pointed at the muggle woman who had poked her head out of her house to see what the commotion was about. Moody stayed quiet after that.  
“Let’s go,” he huffed, storming to the front door.  
“Alastor!” Kingsley whispered.  
“What, Shacklebolt?!” Moody replied, frustratedly.  
“You can’t just storm into the boy’s house! He has no idea we’re coming! He’ll hex us silly!”  
“He won’t use underage magic again,” Remus pointed out.  
“Really, Remus? Now you choose to point that out?” Kingsley said, throwing his hands into the air.  
“Sorry,” Remus said guiltily. He knew he had a point.  
“Fine. We’ll go in quietly.” Moody looked irritated beyond belief.  
“We can’t-“ Emmeline began, but Moody had already unlocked the front door, Tonks right behind him.  
Remus knew they were going to scare the shit out of him, but arguing was taking too long, and it was better that Harry be scared and they go down than totally calm and, well, dead.  
They all crept into the house after Tonks and Moody, Remus in front of the rest. They quietly crept through the hallway before there was crash in front of Remus. He lit his wand and saw that Tonks had knocked over some teacups and saucers.  
“Sorry!” she whispered.  
“It’s fine, Dora,” Remus smiled. It wasn’t, but he needed to keep her calm. He needed to keep all of them calm. Emmeline and Hestia repaired the plates as they walked past behind them, giving Remus a thumbs up.  
Remus heard a floorboard creak above them. Harry.  
Moody started marching up the stairs, his leg causing a great racket. Remus would’ve told him to stop, but the damage was done. Eventually, Remus let Moody open the door, and he and the others stood behind Tonks as Moody faced Harry.  
Harry had his wand drawn and looked incredibly anxious. He slowly dropped his wand as Remus lit his, registering who the people in his doorway were.  
“Professor Moody?” Harry asked, jaw dropped.  
“I don’t think you could say that. I was never actually your professor.”  
Harry gave a quick nod and continued looking around for familiar faced. “Professor Lupin?!” Harry gasped.  
“Harry, you can call me Remus,” Remus said gently. Harry shook his head.  
“What are you all doing here?” Harry said, as if it was the most obvious question to ask. Now that Remus thought about it, it kind of was.  
“We’re here to take you away from here, son,” Moody said, attempting a calm voice. It just came out whimpery.  
“Where too?” Harry asked, intrigued.  
“It doesn’t matter. Get your shit and let’s go.”  
Harry gave a quick nod and started scurrying around his room for clothes and school books and everything he would need for the next year.  
Tonks looked at Remus and mouthed that she was going to go in, so Remus turned around and waved the rest of them downstairs.

A few minutes later, Tonks and Harry came downstairs, Harry’s trunk bursting at the clasps.  
“You’ll need a broomstick,” Remus smiled.  
“It’s locked in there,” Harry said, pointing to the cupboard under the stairs.  
“I’ll get it!” Tonks said enthusiastically.  
They all stood in an awkward silence as Tonks unlocked the cupboard.  
“Harry?” Tonks called.  
“Yes, Tonks?”  
“Why is there a bed in here?”  
Harry looked embarrassed. “I used to sleep there until a couple of years ago.”  
“No!” Gasped Hestia and Emmeline, with faces of outrage.  
Harry nodded slowly. “Yes.”  
“Why?!” Emmeline almost yelled.  
“Vance, as great as this conversation is, we have to go before the muggles get back,” Moody huffed, storming out the front door.  
“How did you get them out?” Harry asked Remus quietly.  
“I don’t know, actually…” Remus racked his brain for the answer.  
“I sent them a letter about them winning some sort of best-kept lawn award. They fell right for it. RSVP’d straight away,” she grinned maniacally.  
Harry laughed, and Remus did too. It was brilliant, he must admit. It was something that Sirius would do.  
Sirius. He needed to see Sirius. He didn’t know why, but he just did.

—————————————————

They got back to Grimmauld Place sometime later, soaked and freezing. Moody gave Harry the address from Dumbledore, and Remus watched as Harry saw the house appear, looking in pure wonder.  
Tonks still had Harry’s trunk fastened to her broom, but she yelled out something about bringing it to Harry later, and Remus let Harry burst in to see his friends, and Sirius. Harry just wanted to see Sirius. It was odd, but Remus almost didn’t want to share his boyfriend. It was stupid, because it was Harry, but still. Weird. Remus was heading in after everyone else, preparing for the imminent screaming, but a voice behind him held him back.  
“Remus, can I have a word?” Tonks.  
“Uh, yeah…” Remus tried to think of an excuse, but came up with nothing. “Sure.”  
She pat the step next to where she was sitting and he sat down next to her.  
“What’s up?” He asked.  
“Um… Where do you go? Like, on your missions? What do you do?”  
Remus took a deep breath. This was an easy question to avoid, thank god. “I’m not allowed to say. Like, I’m, really not allowed to say,” he said quietly.  
“But Sirius knows,” she pouted.  
Remus sighed. “It’s different.”  
“How is it different? I like you, Remus, if that isn’t obvious,” she frowned.  
“It’s different because he knew when we were eighteen, and nineteen, and twenty, and twenty-one. He knew then, so I could tell him now.”  
“You didn’t respond to me saying I liked you.”  
Remus had no idea what to say. “I don’t know how to respond.”  
“Do you not like me?” She looked brokenhearted.  
“It’s not that,” Remus stressed. And to be fair, it wasn’t that. It was that he was in love with someone else, and, you know, a flaming homosexual.  
“What is it like?”  
Remus just put his head in his hands.  
“Fine. I’ll try and woo you, shall I? Works every time, they say,” she chuckled. It was forced.  
Remus had no idea what to say, so she filled the silence by kissing him on the cheek, well, not the cheek, but very close to the lips without it being seen as a KISS kiss.  
She turned and entered the house, leaving Remus outside in the cold having no idea what to do next.


	9. Sirius: Harry Finds Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a nice big dinner table fight, Sirius is an eavesdropper, and Harry FINALLY finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this. I missed dialogue so a lot of this is that. Harry and Hermione's dynamic, I love love love  
> Enjoy!!

Sirius heard a great ruckus coming from the front door and heard the familiar chatter of people entering the hallway. There wasn’t silence or tears or any kind of indication that the mission had gone badly, so Sirius stood up and peeked out from the sitting room. Standing in the doorway, smiling, was Harry Potter. 

————————————————-

Sirius had a wonderful reunion with Harry. They sat in the upstairs sitting room, and talked about the tapestry. Sirius felt like he could open up to Harry. It was like James was in the room again.  
Sirius knew, and had been reminded, that Harry was NOT James, nor should be be treated like him. Sirius couldn’t help it. It was like his best friend had come back from the dead. It was impossible not to celebrate, even if it was internally.  
Harry was equal parts of James and Lily. He was slightly reckless, with a talent for mischief, but he was also kind, and responsible. Sirius loved being around him, but he missed his friends more than anything while Harry was there.  
That night, most of The Order sat down for dinner.  
Arthur was at one end of the table, and Sirius was at the other. Molly was next to Arthur, followed by Ron, Fred, Harry and George. Opposite them were Ginny and Hermione and Dumbledore, who was chatting intensely with Hermione and clearly making her week. Bill and Fleur would be coming later. Remus was on Sirius’ right, sandwiched between him and Tonks (to Sirius’ displeasure).  
Something had been going on between Remus and Tonks. Yes, something had definitely been going on.  
However, Sirius didn’t know WHAT was going on. He and Remus quite literally hadn’t had a second to speak since Harry got back. Remus was up ALL night with Dumbledore, recounting his time with the pack, and Sirius had spent all day with Harry. He wouldn’t have it any other way, but he wanted to know what was going on with his fiancee and his baby cousin. Something had gone down, Sirius knew that much. He knew Remus would’ve shut it down, but, God, he wished they would just tell the others. It would have them so much trouble, and Sirius so much heartache. He was hiding it from James- sorry, he thought to himself. He was hiding it from HARRY. Tonks wouldn’t give up, she was as tenacious as Andromeda, yet she had that quiet demeanour that would be so attractive to people other than Sirius. He hoped that Remus didn’t find it attractive.  
“Sirius?” Molly asked frustratedly.  
“Yes?” Sirius responded.  
“Gosh, I’ve been yelling at you for about a minute!”  
Sirius realised he must have drifted into his thoughts. “Sorry, Molly. Tad distracted.”  
“Yes, well,” she huffed. “Dinner’s ready,” she said as she floated the food onto the table. “Serve yourself!”

It had actually been a moderately pleasant night so far, Sirius thought. Tonks spent the whole time entertaining the girls with her ability to change her nose into a beak (overrated, if you ask Sirius), but Hermione seemed to be suspiciously looking at Sirius for the whole evening. He felt very vulnerable all of a sudden. He finally snapped and glared back aggressively, and she almost yelped and turned away. He felt bad, but at least it was effective.  
Everything had been moderately pleasant, as Sirius had thought, until dinner, when Molly broke up their conversations.  
“So, Tonks, dear,” she started, speaking over everyone. “Have you been seeing anyone lately?”  
Tonks blushed intensely. “No, no one recently,” she said, and to Sirius’ outrage, she flicked her eyes towards Remus.  
Sirius clenched his fists under the table and tried his hardest to stay silent.  
“Do you think I could set you up with someone?” Molly asked suggestively, flicking HER eyes towards Remus.  
Great, thought Sirius. Now they’re discussing an action plan to get HIS BOYFRIEND with Tonks.  
“Oh, I don’t know. I kinda have my mind on someone already.”  
“Ooooo, who is it?” Ginny teased.  
Tonks and Molly ignored her.  
“Say, Remus,” Molly started, getting Remus’ immediate attention. “Have you been seeing anyone recently?”  
Sirius hoped, so desperately, that Remus would just say yes. That he would tell everyone about their relationship so that this god awful meddling could end.  
“Uh…” Remus began, looking over at Sirius. “Yes. Yes I have.”  
Sirius was filled with joy. Finally, Remus would put an end to this torture.  
“Oh,” Molly looked disappointed. “Who?”  
Sirius went to open his mouth, but Remus cut in first. “A woman I met on one of my missions.”  
Sirius’ mind went blank. He forced himself not to cry.  
“Oh,” Tonks said, her voice wavering. “Are you together?”  
“No,” Remus sighed. “We aren’t. I loved her, though.”  
Sirius thought he sounded a bit too convincing.  
“Do you think you’d like to go out with someone to get over her?” Tonks smiled, and batted her eyelashes stupidly.  
And with that, Sirius lost it. He threw his napkin onto the table and pushed out his chair violently.  
“Sirius?” Remus asked, as if he had no idea why Sirius was upset.  
“I feel violently ill all of a sudden.” Well, that wasn’t a lie. “And I think I’m going to lie down. Dinner was… lovely, Molly.” Sirius spat out ‘lovely’ with such distaste that Harry actually looked at him and mouthed ‘What the fuck?’.  
Sirius didn’t have the patience to explain himself, to Harry, to anyone. Remus knew exactly what was going on, and that’s the only person who Sirius needed to understand.  
Sirius stormed out of the room and up the stairs, but once he had climbed halfway up the staircase he heard his name come up in conversation. He creeped silently down the stairs, miraculously avoiding any creaky wood, and hid behind the threshold of the kitchen doorway, listening in.

“What’s wrong with Sirius?” Tonks asked.  
“I don’t know. He’s always been a bit dramatic,” Molly sighed.  
The room was silent.  
“Remus, do you know what’s going on?”  
More silence.  
“Um, he’s probably just tired. You know how he gets when he’s tired,” Remus weakly chuckled.  
“No!” Came a somewhat unfamiliar voice. “He is NOT just tired! And you very well know that, Professor!”  
Hermione?  
“Hermione, what are you on about?” Molly asked.  
“Professor Lupin knows,” she snapped.  
Even more silence.  
“Babe, I’m sure that Sirius is just being a drama queen-“  
“ENOUGH!” Harry yelled, interrupting Tonks. “He is NOT being a drama queen. Sirius is NOT a drama queen! He’s been through hell and back and is doing everything he can to stay sane in this god awful house. So, Molly, I very much appreciate dinner, but I am going upstairs.”  
Sirius heard a chair being pulled out and a napkin being thrown onto the table. He quickly ran upstairs and locked himself in his bedroom, but not before he heard Hermione do the same as Harry.  
“Hermione, I understand Harry being defensive, but you know Sirius, you know how he is-“  
“Yes, Molly, I know what’s going on with him, and you all may think you do, but the only other person who does is Professor Lupin and I think he needs to clean up his mess!” Sirius heard Hermione shout from downstairs.  
Two sets of footsteps stormed up the staircase and stopped outside of Sirius’ door.  
“Sirius?” Harry said quietly, knocking on the door. “Can I come in?”  
Sirius loved the boy, but he really couldn’t deal with anyone right now. He stayed silent and hoped that they would think he was asleep.  
“I think he’s asleep,” Harry whispered. Mission accomplished.  
“That’s probably best at the moment,” Hermione sighed, leaning against the door. Sirius cast a spell to magnify their voices. He hoped that Hermione wasn’t going to tell Harry, that was if she had actually figured it out.  
“Hermione, what is it that Professor Lupin knows?”  
“What? Oh, yes, sorry. He knows why Sirius is upset.”  
“And you know this how?” Harry questioned. He sounded so like his father.  
“Because I also know why he is upset.”  
Oh no, thought Sirius. Now she drops the bomb.  
“And you know THIS how?” Harry asked. Sirius almost shed a tear. He sounded exactly like James.  
“I’m observant.”  
“Ron and I are observant and we haven’t figured out a thing!”  
“Well, Ginny and I are clearly MORE observant than the two of you,” Hermione said plainly.  
“Wait, Ginny knows?!” Harry exclaimed. He then made a loud spluttering noise. “What was that for?!” He whispered.  
“You have to shut up. They need to stay downstairs for this to work.” For what to work? Thought Sirius.  
“What exactly are you planning, Hermione?”  
Hermione slid down the other side of the door so that she was sitting on the floor.  
Oh, and now she’s on the floor, Sirius said to himself, smiling. He had once said the same about Lily outside the door when he was listening in on her and James talking about he and Remus.  
“Oh, and now you’re on the floor,” said Harry sarcastically. That almost broke Sirius’ heart.  
“Yes, I am. Join me, would you?”  
Sirius heard a creak, the house’s way of telling him that Harry had sat down.  
“Fine. What’s going on? I’m fucking confused,” Harry said blatantly.  
Whack. “What was that for?!” Harry yelled in a whisper.  
“Language!”  
“Where the hell did you even get a copy of the Daily Prophet?! They’ve hidden them all from me,” Harry sulked.  
“Yes, well, I needed one to whack you.”  
“Right.”  
“Yes.”  
“Hermione!”  
“Harry!”  
“What is going on with Sirius!”  
Hermione sighed and leaned her head against the door. “I really shouldn’t say.”  
“Seriously?!”  
“What?”  
“You put me through this whole conversation, yelled at Molly at the dinner table, and whacked me with a newspaper just to tell me that you CAN’T tell me?!”  
Hermione released a giggle that she had clearly been trying to suppress.  
“This isn’t funny!” Harry gasped.  
“It is, it really is.”

This conversation reminded Sirius of Lily and James gossiping so much, that he decided that he owed it to their memory to do what he actually wanted to do. He wanted to tell Harry. Hermione obviously knew, Fred and George did, Ginny did. But Harry was the one Sirius wanted to tell. James would’ve wanted him to know, and beyond anything, Sirius would ALWAYS honour James and Lily.  
So, Sirius did what he needed to do. He sat up in bed, flicked his wand, whispered the spell to open the door.

“Ouch!” Hermione exclaimed.  
“Oops, sorry,” Sirius called out. He had forgotten that she was leaning against the door, which has swung open quickly, leaving her banging her head against the floor.  
“Shit, Sirius!” She said, rubbing her head.  
Harry took the newspaper out of her hand and whacked her on the head.  
“What was that for?!” She whisper-yelled.  
“Language,” Harry said in a very impressive imitation of Hermione.  
“Touché,” she smiled. She turned around to Sirius. “Why did you open the door?”  
“Are you okay?” Harry said over her.  
So, so much like Lily and James.  
“I’m fine, but I’m more like my school aged self that you would think.”  
“You were eavesdropping?” Hermione gasped.  
Sirius waved her off. “Oh, don’t look so surprised. It makes me feel old.”  
Harry was grinning maniacally.  
“Harry?”  
“Yes, Sirius?”  
“You’re just like your father.”  
Harry smiled genuinely. “Thanks, Sirius. Now would one of you PLEASE tell me what the HELL is going on?!”  
Hermione sighed and shot a questioning look at Sirius. He nodded in return. “Fine,” she said quietly.  
“Really?!” Harry exclaimed, as if he had predicted more of a challenge.  
“Yes, really,” Sirius smiled. “Now, both of you, come in.”  
Harry and Hermione shut the door behind them.  
“Wait, can I look at all your photos, Sirius?”  
“Yes, of course! I can show you the ones of your parents that I keep forgetting to show you!”  
Hermione sighed and sat down in an armchair, flicking through many magazines, before giving up. “Sirius, do you have a magazine that ISN’T full of women in bikinis on motorbikes?”

————————————————

It must have been half an hour later when Hermione finally got fed up.  
“Oi! You two!”  
Harry and Sirius looked up from the twelfth photo album they’d gone through. “Yeah?” They replied in unison.  
“As much as I’m loving the, um, ‘articles’, shall we say, in the magazines, I really want dessert, and they’ll be none left soon.”  
“You really want to go back down there after our little show?” Harry smirked.  
She gave him the finger and quickly grabbed the newspaper so that he couldn’t whack her first. “HA!” She exclaimed. “Gotcha!”  
“No dessert. Your loss.”  
“Hey, hey, you two,” Sirius smiled. “You’re just like James and Lily.”  
“No, god no,” Hermione scrunched up her face. “Harry is like…”  
“Like Remus is to you!” Harry finished.  
Sirius and Hermione burst out laughing.  
“What is it?!” Harry asked, irritated that he wasn’t in on the joke. “What’s been going on? What happened at dinner? And would somebody tell me what’s happening right now!”  
Sirius grinned. “Harry, you better sit down.”  
Harry made himself comfortable in the middle of the bed.  
“Oi, loser, move over,” Hermione said, shoving Harry almost off the bed. They proceeded to bicker and just when Sirius started getting sad at how similar they were to the kids Sirius, James, Lily and Remus used to be, he shut them up.  
“Do you want an explanation, or not?”  
“Yes please,” Hermione started.  
“Yes- wait! You already know what’s happening. Why do you want an explanation?”  
Hermione rolled her eyes. “God, Harry, just because I know what’s happening doesn’t mean anyone’s told me. I could be completely wrong-“ they both stared at her “-I’m not, obviously, but I COULD be, anyway, Sirius, please just tell him.”  
Sirius took a deep breath. Before he said anything, he cast a silencing charm over the room.  
“What’s that for?” Harry asked.  
“Just trust me, it’s necessary,” Hermione sighed.  
“Anyway, Harry, you might freak out a bit, but I really hope you can be supportive-“  
“Sirius, why is Professor Lupin’s stuff in your room?” Harry asked, looking around.  
Well, now was a good a time as any. “Professor Lupin and I are… involved.”  
Harry didn’t seem shocked at all. “Yeah, I know, We’re all involved.”  
Hermione whacked herself with the newspaper.  
“No, Harry, we’re together. Boyfriends. Engaged, actually, and-“  
“WHAT?!” Harry screamed. “WHAT?! WHAT, WHAT, WHAT THE HELL?!”  
“Told you you’d need the silencing charm,” Hermione smirked.  
“Wait, how did you figure it out?!” Harry exclaimed, turning to Hermione.  
“I’m in touch with my emotions, Harry.”  
“So am !”  
“Straight men, am I right?!” Hermione whispered to Sirius behind the newspaper.  
“Just because the newspaper is there does NOT mean I can’t hear you,” Harry sulked.  
“Yes, I know. I just figured it would be less insulting if your face was staring at you with the headline ‘THE BOY WHO LIED’, you know?”  
Harry glared at her. “Sirius, I’m going to need a bit of an explanation here,” Harry said, almost breathless.  
“Merlin, Harry, calm down, would you? Are you angry? Do you not want to talk to me anymore? I’m the same person I’ve-“  
“Shut it, Sirius. You’re the same person you’ve always been. My dad would have LOVED this,” Harry laughed.  
“He did,” Sirius smiled.  
“WAIT, WHAT?!” Hermione yelled.“Ha,” Sirius said. “So you DIDN’T guess all of it!”  
“Ok, stop. Maybe she didn’t guess all of it, but I want to know. Please tell me. Because I’m not angry you’re with Professor Lupin-“  
“You can call him Remus, you know-“  
“-I’m not angry you’re with Professor Lupin,” Harry repeated, “But I am slightly pissed off you didn’t tell me. You’ve got about ten seconds to start talking.”  
Sirius sighed. “Fine. It started in sixth year.”

——————————————————————

Sirius spent the next hour recounting his relationship with Remus. He told Harry and Hermione all about how Sirius was a horrible boyfriend the first year, and then how he moved in with James and he then bought an apartment for himself and Remus, and how they still have it, and how it has a pool, and a bar, and everything you could ever want. He told Harry that, yes, he would bring him there some day, and yes, he promised. He told Harry how they got engaged back then, but then James and Lily died, and how he was separated from Remus for twelve years.  
“That makes sense why you hugged each other the way you did in the shack,” Hermione said, piecing everything together.  
“Wait, what?” Harry paused, and Sirius could actually see the cogs turning in his brain. “Ohhhhhh, yes. Got it. Continue.”  
Sirius told them how they wanted a kid, and how they’ve loved each other since they were sixteen, and how they got engaged again when Sirius came back. He showed them the ring, and how it was engraved with ‘Moony’, just like Remus’ was engraved with ‘Padfoot’. He told them everything, but he left out the sex stuff, a good idea, he thought, judging off how well it went down with Ginny.  
“So, yes. I think that’s about it.”  
Harry had eyes the size of saucers and Hermione was looking smug.  
“Harry?” Sirius said, waving a hand in front of the boys face. “You there?”  
“Yeah,” Harry said, snapping back to reality. “It’s just… you wear the rings! How has no one noticed!”  
“Hey!”  
“What?!”  
“I noticed!” Said Hermione.  
“Fine, but you’re you. It’s not like anyone else knows.”  
Sirius looked awkward. “About that…”  
“Sirius!” Hermione exclaimed. “Other people know but Harry didn’t?!”  
“Hermione! I’m having a hard enough time with that so would you please! Shut! Up!”  
“Someone’s testy,” shrugged Hermione.“She has a point. Why did you tell other people?” Harry looked genuinely sad.  
“Harry, we didn’t TELL anyone else. Fred and George apparated into the kitchen when Remus kissed me, oh, don’t look like that Harry, Hermione and I both know you want to lock lips with Ginny for hours on end, oh, don’t look so embarrassed, anyway, Fred and George interrupted a kiss, so naturally, we started to explain it, but then Ginny had hacked into the very weak silencing spell Remus cast, which is why I always cast them at night-“ Sirius slapped his hand over his mouth.  
“NO! NO! NO!” Harry yelled, covering his ears. “NO!”  
Hermione was cackling. “Oh, Harry, poor thing. Hadn’t already put it together that they were OBVIOUSLY sleeping with each other, had we?” She said to Harry.  
“Give me the newspaper.”  
“No.”  
“Give. Me. The. Newspaper.”  
Hermione handed it over, and took the whack. “I deserved that.”  
“Anyway,” Sirius redirected the conversation, “Ginny managed to hear a lot of our conversation, so Remus and I explained everything to them.”  
“Wait, I get why Ginny wouldn’t tell anyone else, but why didn’t she tell me?” Hermione asked.  
Sirius smiled. “Remus had a chat with her. I think she’s the ‘flower girl’ for our wedding. That was the cost of her silence.”  
Hermione nodded. “Makes sense.”  
“Why didn’t Fred and George tell everyone, like, right away?” Harry asked.  
“Harry. They wouldn’t do that!” Hermione exclaimed. Harry glared at her and raised his eyebrows. “Fine,” she sighed. “They would.”  
“They didn’t tell anyone because the only people in Hogwarts history better with pranks than those two were me, Remus and James. I gave them all our secrets, and I told them how to make their own map, AND how to become animagi. It took quite a bit more than being a flower girl to keep them silent.”  
“Clearly,” Harry said in shock.  
“What have you done, Sirius!” Hermione gasped.  
“What is it, Hermione?”  
“They’re going to become animagi. They’re dangerous enough without your pranking ‘expertise’, shall we say, on top of it. They wreak enough havoc as humans, what the hell will they do when they’re nifflers, or something?!”  
Suddenly, Hermione, Harry and Sirius heard a scream. “OPEN THE DOOR YOU BLOODY BASTARD!”  
“Don’t tell anyone,” Sirius whispered to Harry and Hermione. They shook their heads. “Promise?”  
“On my parents’ graves,” Harry nodded.  
“On Harry’s parents’ graves.” Hermione added.  
“Oi, they’re my parents!” Harry whispered.  
“I don’t have anything that important!” Hermione whispered in response.  
“Shut it!” Sirius whispered over them. “They broke through the silencing spell JUST then, so we should be good to go. Just say you were comforting me about being single and alone or something. And most importantly, do NOT TELL REMUS!”  
“Okay!” Harry and Hermione both called out. They couldn’t be heard over the screams and bashing of Molly Weasley anyway.  
“Ready for the tornado?” Sirius said, smiling.  
“Wait!” Harry called out.  
“Yes?” Sirius turned around from the door.  
“I love you, Sirius,” Harry smiled.  
“Love you too, Sirius,” Hermione grinned.  
“Love you both, you losers,” Sirius smirked. “One, two, three…”  
The door burst open and Molly Weasley stormed in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to read my loves!  
> I hope you're all doing well!  
> Your comments make my week xxx  
> Gabby


	10. Sirius Runs Away: Remus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is a shit. Sirius makes a run for it. The Golden Trio is on the loose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I liked this.

“WHAT THE BLOODY HELL HAVE YOU THREE BEEN DOING IN HERE FOR THE PAST TWO HOURS?!” Molly screamed at Sirius, Hermione and Harry.  
Remus had endured an incredibly awkward dinner, mainly consisting of Molly trying to set up Remus and Tonks and Remus feeling incredibly guilty. He should’ve gone up to check on Sirius, he knew that, but Harry and Hermione had gone up, he said to himself, that much have been enough. He knew, of course, that that was NOT enough, and that Sirius needed his boyfriend, as Hermione so forcefully pointed out, but he felt terrible enough already for not telling Sirius what Tonks had said to him, and that she’d kissed him close enough for it to be a betrayal.  
“Molly, we’ve just been talking-“  
“WITH A SILENCING CHARM UP?! YOU COULD HAVE ALL BEEN DEAD!”  
“Mrs Weasley, we’re perfectly okay-“  
“BUT YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN!” Mrs Weasley interrupted Harry.  
“Mrs Weasley, we really are fine, we were just talking-“  
“TALKING?! WITH THE DOOR LOCKED?!” She shrieked. ‘SIRIUS, I KNEW YOU WERE IRRESPONSIBLE, BUT-“  
Sirius stared at Remus. Remus knew that this was the moment where he should cut in, but he didn’t want to end up on bad terms with the rest of The Order. One of them had to be on Molly’s good side, right? He knew this was unbelievably selfish, and in hindsight, horrible judgement, but at the time it had almost seemed reasonable.  
Molly was still yelling, but Remus only just registered someone saying his name.  
“Remus?” Sirius asked quietly. “Do you have anything to say?”  
Remus could’ve saved his arse there, but for some reason he didn’t. He took too long to answer. Well, too long for Molly Weasley.  
“Sirius, don’t drag Remus into this!” Molly cried. “Sorry, Remus,” she smiled at him.  
“Really, Remus? Nothing? Nothing to say?” Sirius snapped, but Remus saw the sadness in his eyes.  
“Tonks, dear, would you take Remus downstairs to get the biscuits out of the oven?” Molly said, in a completely different tone to the one she had spoken to Sirius in.  
“Sure!” Tonks exclaimed, grabbing Remus’ hand.  
“That’s it!” Sirius yelled, before Remus had time to react. Sirius grabbed his wand, and apparated downstairs, the crack echoing through the halls.  
“Honestly,” sighed Molly. “Could he be any MORE dramatic?!”  
“That’s enough!” Harry and Hermione cried in unison. They couldn’t make the grand apparition exit that Sirius had made, so they settled with storming out of the room and down the stairs.   
Remus knew that Sirius was angry, and upset, and when he was both angry and upset he also got reckless. The last thing that they needed was a reckless Sirius after he’d been cooped up in this house. Remus realised that he hadn’t spoken throughout this entire interaction, and he also noticed that Tonks was still holding his hand, and her hair seemed to be glowing.

He felt bad for leading her on. He felt horrible. But he couldn’t break her heart, not right now. Couldn’t put her through that pain while the war was in full swing. He knew he hadn’t thought this through, because the war could be in full swing for a while, and he couldn’t lead her on for the years that the first war had lasted, but now she was grabbing his hand and Molly was nattering at her and Remus felt like he was going to explode.  
Then came a yell from downstairs. “SIRIUS! NO!”  
Harry had shouted first, but other voices joined in. “SIRIUS, DON’T!” Said Fred and George in unison.  
“YOU’RE BLOODY BARKING!” Ron.  
“Please, Sirius, don’t,” Ginny pleaded.  
“This is the single most irresponsible thing you could possibly do!” That was Hermione, obviously.  
Wait, panicked Remus. Single most irresponsible thing? Shit, he realised. Shit, shit, shit.  
“Fuck,” Remus whispered under his breath, letting go of Tonks’ hand and bolting down the stairs.  
He reached the hallway just in time to see Sirius, as Padfoot, bolting out the door.

————————————————

Everyone was seated at the dinner table, Tonks on one side of Remus, Bill on the other. Harry and Hermione had chosen to sit as far away as possible from Remus. Fair.  
Last time they were all at the table, there had been some drama, as there always was, but this time was different. Everyone was conspiring in hushed voices. Molly was so stressed that she hadn’t even bothered to send the children upstairs.  
“What are we going to do?” Asked Fleur, in her (admittedly lovely) accent.  
“I have no idea,” sighed Tonks. Remus was incredible irritated with her. This was all her fault! He almost had a go at her, but he realised that she didn’t have any idea what was going on. No one, apart from Harry and Hermione, obviously, knew the extent of Sirius and Remus’ relationship. No one except those two knew why Sirius had REALLY left.  
Remus hadn’t defended him. This was all Remus’ fault. No one was listening when he blamed himself, but that didn’t mean he was any less guilty. The later it got, the further Sirius would be from the house. They weren’t getting anywhere. Thank Merlin Snape wasn’t here. That’s the only thing that could make this worse.

Then, as if it was rehearsed, the door slammed, waking Walburga. The screams were silenced almost immediately, and Snape glided into the room. Remus didn’t openly express his distaste for Snape, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t despise the man with every fibre of his being.   
“So,” Snape drawled, “what has the imbecile done now?”  
“Severus, I don’t think that that is entirely fair,” spoke up Dumbledore, who had been suspiciously quiet all evening.  
“Albus, I must disagree. Black has managed to singlehandedly ruin everything since his school days. Even got locked up in Azkaban for it,” Snape smirked.  
“Hey!” Exclaimed Tonks unexpectedly. “That’s not fair!”  
“You don’t know the half of it, girl,” Snape sneered.  
“Sirius did nothing!”  
“Except run away in his animagus form, which all of the death eaters are fully aware of, when his ONLY instruction was to stay inside.”  
When Snape put it like that, it didn’t sound great.  
Remus had barely spoken all evening. He felt horrible, but he couldn’t think of anything to say that didn’t make him sound at least slightly insane. The others couldn’t know about their relationship, and without revealing that, it was impossible to justify why Sirius had left.   
Everyone was silent for a minute. None of them wanted to agree with Snape, because none of them actually LIKED him (Remus suspected this was because it was literally impossible to like Snape. The only person who liked Snape was Snape), but they all had to admit that he did have a point. What Sirius did was irresponsible and reckless, and no one understood why he did it except Remus, Harry and Hermione.  
“Well,” Dumbledore broke the silence, “There’s nothing we can do about the past, only the future. So, how are we going to find Sirius? I’m open to all suggestions,” he smiled, looking at Hermione, whose hand shot up.  
“Yes, Miss Granger?”  
“I think Remus should go out and look for him. He knows him the best. Remus knows where Sirius goes when he’s upset. Remus knows Sirius better than anyone,” she said plainly.  
“Hermione dear, that’s a great idea, but I think Remus should stay here with Tonks,” Mrs Weasley suggested.  
Remus wondered why on earth Tonks needed company at a time like this, but once he looked over he noticed her crying. How was he going to get out of this one?  
“I’ll stay with her!” Ginny exclaimed, pulling up her chair next to Tonks’. She put her arm around Tonks’ shoulder all while glaring intensely at Remus.   
“Oh,” Tonks subtly frowned, “Okay. Thanks, Ginny.”  
“Of course,” Ginny smiled warmly.  
Subtle, Remus thought sarcastically.  
“Well, does anyone else have any ideas?” Dumbledore asked.  
“I do,” Snape started. “I say we lock the door so he can never get back in and leave him for the death eaters,” he smirked.  
“Severus,” Dumbledore warned. “I’ll rephrase. Does anyone have any ideas of value?”  
“Hand him over to the Ministry?” Snape suggested again.  
“Severus, I think it’s best you leave,” Dumbledore said emotionlessly.  
“You invited me here!”  
“Yes, I did, when I thought you’d be helpful to the cause, but clearly you aren’t taking this seriously, so I’m asking you kindly to please exit the house and keep Sirius’ escape a secret. Please.”  
Snape looked outraged and seemed to be about to start a heated argument, but it only took one look from Dumbledore for him to shut up. “Fine. See you later. Good luck.” The good luck was clearly sarcastic.  
Once Arthur had silenced Walburga, Dumbledore turned to Remus. “So, Remus,” he began. “It seems you’re the best plan we’ve got.”

——————————————

Remus had gone to sit in the sitting room. He’d locked the door and he knew that everyone outside was expecting him to leave, soon, to go and find Sirius, and he wanted to go, he did, but he was scared. He was scared that when he found him, Sirius wouldn’t want to come back. Remus was scared that he’d lost his fiancee all because of his desperate need to be liked, his desperate need to fit in. He was scared that if he found Sirius, the man wouldn’t want to look at him, let alone let him speak.  
So Remus sat there, for what could’ve been a minute, or what could have been an hour. He had almost given up on himself when the door quite literally flew off its hinges.   
“FUCK!” Cried George.  
“LANGUAGE!” Yelled Molly, storming up the hallway. Upon seeing the door, she almost fainted. “Why George?! WHY?!”  
“Someone had to get in!”  
“It didn’t have to be you!”  
“No one else was doing anything!”  
“SHUT IT!” Ginny yelled.  
“Ginerva-“  
“Mum, look, Professor Lupin-“  
“You really can call him Remus-“  
“Professor Lupin,” Ginny continued, “Needs to find Sirius. I don’t know what’s going on and I’m sure you don’t either, but Professor Lupin does, and he’s the only one who can get Sirius to come back.”  
“I could go,” Harry spoke up, appearing at the door. “He kinda listens to me.”  
Moody spoke up. “Actually, that’s a good idea-“  
“Alastor, unfortunately that is not a possibility. Harry needs to stay in Grimmauld Place.” Dumbledore chimed in.  
Remus was extremely overwhelmed, but he had no idea what to say.  
“Well the boy could go with Remus-“  
“Alastor, Harry needs to stay here,” Dumbledore said to Moody.  
“Why does everyone decide what Sirius and I can and cannot do!” Harry cried. Good god, thought Remus. Now Harry was at it too. James would have been, he supposed.  
“Harry, it’s for your own-“  
“It’s for my own safety, I’ve been told,” Harry interrupted Dumbledore. “Maybe something is more important than safety. Maybe my FAMILY is more important than safety!”  
“Harry, no one is suggesting that isn’t true, we’re just saying-“  
“With all due respect, I don’t care what you’re saying! I’m going to find Sirius!”  
Harry started storming towards the door, and Remus wanted to do something, but he felt like he was stuck in a trance.  
There was a lot of yelling, before one voice silenced them all.  
“REMUS!” Yelled Hermione. Remus whipped his head around and stared at her. “Would you please,” she began calmly, “Go,” she gritted her teeth, “And GET SIRIUS!”  
“Hermione!” Molly gasped.   
“I’m sorry Mrs Weasley, but he’s the only solution, and Harry is point five seconds from running away as well!”  
“Hermione, you can’t expect-“  
Then Remus snapped. “Yes she can!” He stood up. “She CAN expect! Because that’s what I’m meant to do!”  
“Remus, you aren’t responsible for Sirius, don’t blame yourself-“  
“I am responsible for Sirius, Tonks!” Remus cried out, ignoring the ‘Dora’ nickname. “I have been since we were sixteen! And-“  
The door slammed.   
“HARRY!” Yelled Hermione, Ginny, Molly, Arthur, Fred, Ron and George.   
“Oh dear,” muttered Dumbledore, leaning against the wall.  
Everyone turned to look at Dumbledore. Remus felt awfully sorry for the man in that moment. He was a bastard, sure, but it must be tiring being responsible for everyone ALL the time.  
“Yes?” Dumbledore asked the crowd of watching eyes.  
“What do we do?” Molly said quietly.  
“I think I agree with Hermione, Molly,” Dumbledore stated warily. “Remus is the only one who can fix this.”  
Bloody hell, thought Remus. An instruction from Dumbledore was as good as an order.  
“Albus, it’s not-“  
“STOP!” Remus yelled, finally. “Tonks, it IS my job. And someone has to find Harry! So I’ll go.” Remus grabbed his jacket and walked out.  
“How is he meant to find them both by himself?” Hermione pointed out obviously. She had a point. Who was he meant to prioritise?  
Remus ignored her. He was almost at the door.   
“He’s NOT!” Shouted Ron, who had been suspiciously quiet all evening.  
“Ronald Weasley, don’t you dare-“  
Remus had swung open the door before he realised what Ron and Hermione were saying.  
“Sorry Mrs Weasley!” Hermione yelled, at the same time as Ron called out “Sorry, Mum!”  
Remus heard the door slam behind him and was left on the stoop with Hermione, looking furious, and Ron, looking very, very confused.  
Fucking hell.  
“So,” Ron began. “Shall we split up?”

————————————————————

“No, Ron, we certainly shall not split up. You two will go back inside, right now,” Remus said firmly. They were still on the top step. The two children could still get back inside without drawing attention to themselves in the middle of the day in a busy London square.  
“Will all due respect, Professor Lupin, that’s not going to happen.” Ron stated.  
“Well,” Remus sighed, “I figured. We should get going before they come storming out after us.”  
Hermione beamed. “Yes. I think we should.”  
They all stepped out into the square and set off for Sirius.

They had walked a couple of blocks, following Remus’ lead, before Ron asked the question he must have been itching to ask.  
“Professor, why is everyone so certain that YOU can fins Sirius? And why do you keep saying you’re responsible for him?”  
Remus glanced at Hermione, who just shrugged.  
“I know Hermione knows, and I’m assuming Harry does too, and they’ll tell me later even if you don’t. So you may as well.”  
Remus knew that Harry and Hermione wouldn’t have told Ron, but the rest of the kids knew, and it didn’t make sense for only one of them to be kept in the dark.  
Remus saw that they were almost at the first checkpoint of the Sirius Search (he was fond of the name. It was a shitty situation, but he was still a Professor, and it was still alliteration. He could trademark it, he thought), and they would soon sit down anyway.   
“Fine. This is the dog park Padfoot liked when we were young. We can sit on the seat over there for five minutes and look for him before we move on.”  
“And you’ll tell me?” Ron asked expectantly.  
“And I’ll tell you,” Remus sighed.  
They walked in silence, and once the sound of barking was imminent, Hermione and Remus sat on the bench, Ron taking a seat in the middle.  
“So?”  
Remus sighed. He’d had enough of explaining this, but once this part was over, all the kids knew, and they could hide it from one less person. That’s what Sirius had been saying all along, Remus realised, that it would make life so much easier to stop hiding it. Remus thought he might be right.  
“Sirius and I started dating when we were sixteen, we got engaged when we were nineteen, and when Sirius came to live with me after the Tournament, we got engaged again. We still are. Engaged, I mean,” Remus sighed. He’d gotten it down to a pretty succinct explanation at this point. He didn’t have the energy for details.  
Luckily, the details wasn’t what Ron was interested in. “Right, so why didn’t you stand up for him before?”  
“Exactly!” Hermione cried. “Thank you! Someone else sees the insanity of this situation!”  
They were both quiet for a moment, and Remus thought he’d caught a break. Then he felt both of their gazes burning into him and realised that he did owe them some kind of an explanation.   
“I don’t know,” Remus answered honestly. “I don’t know why I didn’t stand up for him,” he clarified.  
“You better work on that,” Ron said calmly.  
“Work on what?”  
“That explanation.”  
Remus looked at him, perplexed.  
Hermione sighed. “God, Remus, for a Professor, you’re being quite dense.” Remus almost audibly gasped. “Oh, hush. I had to hear all about your sex life-“  
“God! What did Sirius tell you?!”  
“More than you’ve let him tell the adults, that’s for sure,” Hermione pointed out.  
Remus looked stunned.  
“Her point is-“ Ron stopped quickly, Hermione glaring at him. “Sorry, what I think Hermione is trying to say-“ he paused, looking for her approval on his statement, which she gave in the form of a nod. “What Hermione is trying to say, is that you thought you owed us an explanation as to why you didn’t stand up for Sirius, right? That’s why you told us?”Remus nodded sadly.  
“Well, if you think you owe us one, you sure as hell owe Sirius one. Hermione?” Ron looked to her for approval.  
She nodded. “That’s how I would put it, yes.”  
Remus was quiet for a moment. Never in his life had he been more soft spoken than he had been today.  
“Well. Padfoot isn’t here. Where’s the next stop?”  
Remus realised that they were out here for a reason. And they didn’t have much time. They’d gone after Sirius, because they figured that’s what Harry would have done, and it was more likely to find them together than to find Harry by himself.   
“A quiet place. Not much of a walk. Shall we go?”  
The two nodded at Remus.   
“Right, well, let’s walk.”  
“One condition,” Ron said, not getting up.  
“Yes?” Remus asked, trying not to sound inpatient.   
“You work on that explanation while we walk.”  
Remus knew Ron was right. He sighed. “Sure. Now let’s go. We don’t have much time.”

————————————————

An hour later they had checked the first four spots it was likely for Sirius to be, and they’d found nothing. He clearly didn’t want to be found. This time hiding, unfortunately, was not an option, so Remus continued on.   
An hour after that, he took the kids into an alley and sent a patronus to Grimmauld Place, letting them know that Ron and Hermione were safe with him, and that they were still looking for Harry.  
Arthur Weasley replied in no time at all, a glowing weasel appearing, saying that they were all very worried about everyone missing and that they were very disappointed in Ron and Hermione.  
“Why aren’t they disappointed in Harry!” Ron cried once the patronus had disappeared.  
“No one’s ever disappointed in Harry,” Hermione mumbled.“Ooh, someone’s tense,” Ron mocked.  
“Shut up, Ronald,” Hermione snapped.  
“That’s enough, you two,” Remus warned. “Does anyone have any idea where Sirius would go?”  
They had both been silent for a minute or two, when Hermione’s eyes lit up.  
“I know!”  
“Hermione?” Remus gestured for her to continue.   
“Well, when people run away from somewhere they hate in a bad situation, they usually go home. Sirius grew up in Grimmauld Place right, so that would be home, but he hates Grimmauld Place. Where was the first place he called home?”   
“Hogwarts?” Ron suggested.  
“No,” she shot him down. “Too obvious. The first place he REALLY called home.”  
“His apartment with Professor Lupin?” Ron added.  
“Maybe,” Hermione considered. “Remus?”  
“I’ve got it!” Remus cried. “Yes, he called our place home, but it wasn’t the first place he called home. The first place he called home was the Potters’!”  
“Bloody hell!” Hermione called out.  
“Language, Granger!” Ron mimicked.  
Hermione glared at him before continuing. “Sirius may be incredibly difficult-“  
“You’ve got that right,” Remus muttered. Ron glared at him. “What?!” Remus said exasperatedly.  
“This is YOUR fault!”  
Remus didn’t have a retort for that.  
“Anyway,” Hermione segued, “How are we going to find…” she trailed off.  
“For once, could you finish your sentences!” Ron threw his hands up in the air.  
“Harry knows where Sirius is going. And he knows exactly how to get there.”  
“What?” Remus gasped. “How?!”  
“We were in Sirius’ room before, and Harry took a photo of his grandparents out of an album. It had the address on it. It must have been at their house!”  
“How would Harry have known Sirius was going to run away?” Ron asked. Good point, thought Remus, but he thought it best not to interrupt the back and forth that the two had going.  
“It’s Sirius, Ron.”  
Apparently that was explanation enough.  
“How do we get there?” Hermione looked at Remus.  
“Oh,” Remus began, caught off guard. “I guess we take the train.”  
“We can’t apparate?” Ron asked.  
Now this was awkward. Remus hadn’t been able to properly apparate since they got to Grimmauld Place. He’d tried, but accidentally splinched an eyebrow. He didn’t want to risk taking two people along with him.  
“I can’t. Make fun of me later. We have to get the train. Now.”  
The two looked very perplexed, but simply shrugged and nodded. “Okay,” said Hermione. “Lead the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to be one of those writers that shoves their personal life in your face  
> \  
> but I was broken up with by the love of my fucking life and nothing has ever hurt this much  
> she won't even talk to me so I can't even get closure


	11. Sirius: At the Potters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius takes refuge at the Potters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to post this before I posted the next chapter I am So sorry

Sirius was standing outside of Potter Mansion. He’d travelled as a dog on the train, angering quite a few people, and outrunning the really irritated ones. He had just shifted back into a human and was feeling… Well, he didn’t know what he was feeling. He felt lonely, he supposed. He hadn’t been back here since his last Christmas with Euphemia and Fleamont, before he went to Azkaban. They’d passed away from Dragonpox, he’d been told, and they never got to say goodbye to their son. Either of their sons, Sirius rephrased.  
Returning to your parents house was always meant to be emotional, but returning to Grimmauld Place just made him feel numb. Sirius supposed this is what it was meant to feel like. It felt like his soul was drained. But Remus was treating him like shit, Harry would be okay without him for a while, Molly was a nightmare at the moment and Dumbledore could fuck himself if he expected Sirius to stay in that house while Tonks was flirting with Remus so obviously. It made sense for him to come back here. He’d felt unsafe in every other place he’d ever been, at least temporarily, but he’d never felt unsafe here. This was always going to be his childhood home, this was always going to be the place that he’d felt loved and cared for by adults for the first time in his life.  
Unfortunately, being back here also meant facing a reality that he had avoided facing for many, many years.  
James was gone.  
James would never inherit this property. James would never bring Harry here. James would never again stay up all night drinking on New Years Eve in the very building that Sirius stood in front of.  
With that thought unpleasantly looming in the back of his mind, Sirius opened the door.

The door wasn’t locked, which was odd. The house didn’t look unkempt, or even abandoned. Sirius swore he could smell freshly baked cookies, just like he always had.  
There was a clatter in the kitchen, and Sirius drew his wand. “Who’s there?”   
“Sorry!” A voice squeaked. “It is just Hokey!”  
The Potters’ house elf. Why was she here?“Hokey?”  
“Is that you, Master Sirius? Have you returned home?” She pattered out of the kitchen, wiping flour onto her pillow case.  
“Uh, I guess for now I have. What exactly are you doing here?” Sirius asked, perplexed.  
“Hokey comes to the Potter Household every few weeks to keep the house safe. It was Master Fleamont’s wish, you see,” she explained.  
“I guess you want to know why I’m here?” Sirius smiled, knowing Hokey was too polite to ever ask.  
“I was wondering, Sir, but you don’t have to tell me, of course,” she smiled back.  
“I’ve been staying at my old house, from when I was young, before I came here,” Sirius began.  
“No! Master Sirius cannot stay in such a place! He must come home!”  
Sirius sighed, and sat down in his favourite lounge chair. “I can’t come home, Hokey. There’s too much to do.”  
“With the war?” Hokey asked. “Sorry! Hokey is not supposed to discuss such things!”  
“Hokey, it’s fine. Yes, I have stuff to do with the war. It’s important that I go back to London, actually,” he thought out loud.  
“Why has Master Sirius come here, then?” Hokey asked.   
“I needed a place to think. This place was safe.” Sirius took a moment to glance around, before he realised something. “Hokey, don’t you think I killed James and Lily?”  
Hokey sighed. “No. I know Master Sirius would never do such a thing.”  
Sirius was filled with warmth. “Thank you Hokey. For believing in me.”  
Hokey blushed. “Of course, Master Sirius. Would you like a cookie?”  
Sirius realised just how hungry he was. “I’d love one. Maybe even two.”  
“Of course!” Hokey beamed, rushing back into the kitchen.

Sirius heard some clattering in the kitchen, before he decided he needed to look around. “Hokey, I’ll just be a moment, okay?” Sirius called out.  
“Of course, Master Sirius!” she responded.  
Sirius walked quietly to Mr Potter’s den. He used to nap here, with Remus, all those years ago. It seemed as though nothing had changed. A bottle of ink was still open on the desk. There was a letter half written, addressed to James.  
Sirius knew it was a violation to read it, but he glanced at it anyway. It was a letter to say goodbye. Goodbye to James, to Lily, and to Harry. It never reached them, Sirius thought sadly. James knew they loved him, he reminded himself. The letter would’ve been nice anyway.  
Just as Sirius was reading the titles on the bookshelf, the front door slammed. Shit. Death eaters.  
Sirius ran out, his wand drawn, and saw Hokey staring wide-eyed at the boy who’d just entered the house.  
“Harry?” Sirius gaped. “What are you doing here?!”  
“I knew this is where you’d come,” Harry said plainly.  
“You can’t be here!”  
“I could say the same to you,” Harry smiled. “So,” he said, “This is my grandparents’ house?”  
Knowing there was nothing that he could do except accept that Harry was here, Sirius nodded. “Yes. It is.”  
“It looks like people still live here,” Harry pointed out.  
“It does, doesn’t it,” Sirius sighed. “It’s thanks to Hokey, here. She looks after the house. She’s my favourite house elf,” Sirius beamed at Hokey.  
“Master Harry? Is that you?” Hokey said, her voice shaking.  
“Uh, yes, Hokey, it’s me,” Harry smiled awkwardly.  
“Hokey hasn’t seen Harry since he was a baby, since Master James and… and…” Hokey trailed off.“Hokey?” Sirius and Harry asked in unison.  
Hokey promptly fainted.  
“Well,” Sirius said, looking at Harry. “She’ll be out for a while. Shall I show you around?”  
“That would be nice.”

——————————————————

Sirius showed Harry his bedroom, and James’, and the one that Lily used to sleep in when she stayed over. He showed Harry the den, the kitchen, and they walked down to the lake.  
Sitting on the rocks by the lake, where the Marauders used to have camp fires, Harry spoke up.  
“Why didn’t we use this place for headquarters?”  
Sirius sighed. “Because it isn’t safe here.”  
Harry’s eyes widened. “It’s not?! Then why are you here?! We have to go back!”  
“Harry!” Sirius interrupted. “Do calm down. No one’s coming for me here. Hokey’s here to protect us anyway.”  
“Hokey?”  
“House elves have far more powerful magic than wizards will ever have. They simply don’t use it without permission. Hokey had James’ permission, so she’ll keep us safe.”  
Harry nodded. “Sirius, why did you run away?”  
Sirius leaned back against a tree. “I ran away because Remus wasn’t treating me very nicely. He’s taught me hat I deserve to be treated well, and he wasn’t treating me well at all.”  
“Is this about Tonks?”  
“Why would this be about Tonks?” Sirius snapped.  
Harry put his hands up in surrender. “Jeez, Sirius, just a question. I was thinking it would be, because she’s flirting with Remus constantly, and you look at her the same way that I look at Dean Thomas.”  
“Who’s Dean Thomas?”  
“Ginny’s boyfriend,” Harry sighed.   
“Oh,” Sirius said quietly. “Maybe it’s a little bit about Tonks.”  
“I thought so,” Harry nodded. “You know Remus loves you though, right? Even after Tonks kissed him-“  
“WHAT?!” Sirius yelled. “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!”  
“Shit,” Harry muttered under his breath. “I thought you knew.”  
“How do you know?!” Sirius said breathlessly.  
“Ginny saw it,” Harry explained. “It was only a kiss on the cheek, but it was really close to the lips, so I just assumed Remus told you.”  
“Yes, I would’ve assumed the same thing,” Sirius growled. “I cannot believe he didn’t tell me.”  
“He was probably just trying to protect you,” Harry justified.“Why are you protecting him?!” Sirius snapped.  
Harry looked away. “Sorry.”  
Sirius put his head in his hands. “No, Harry, I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault.”  
“It’s not Remus’ either,” Harry pointed out.  
“He’s the one that refuses to tell anyone!”  
“Yeah,” Harry considered, “Why is that?”  
“Fuck if I know. If Tonks is going around treating Remus the way that she is, you’d think that Remus would have enough sense not to lead her on, wouldn’t you?”  
“Yes,” Harry nodded. “I suppose you’re right.”  
“I’m often right.”  
“That’s what my dad would’ve said, isn’t it?”  
Sirius smiled sadly. “Yeah. It is.”  
They sat in silence for a while, before Sirius realised he was still incredibly hungry.  
“Can we go inside for a minute?”  
Harry looked confused. “Uh, sure?”  
“I’m really hungry.”  
Harry looked relieved. “Thank Merlin. Me too.”

—————————————————

Harry and Sirius managed the whole tray of cookies, insisting Hokey have at least two herself. She looked incredibly embarrassed after fainting, butt she still accepted the cookies with very little protest.  
“So, do you think Remus came looking for me?”  
Harry thought for a moment. “I think so. I assume Ron and Hermione went with him.”  
“They weren’t allowed,” Sirius pointed out.  
“Would that have stopped them?” Harry said obviously.   
“No, I suppose not. It didn’t stop you.”  
“You’re family, Sirius,” Harry almost whispered. “Nothing would’ve stopped me.”  
Sirius tried his best not to tear up and slung an arm around Harry’s shoulders.   
“Why did you tell me? About you and Remus? You weren’t meant too.”  
Sirius smiled. “You’re family, Harry. Nothing would’ve stopped me.”  
Harry quickly brought Sirius into a hug, and they both had great difficultly letting go.

That was until they heard the door slam yet again.  
Harry and Sirius both drew their wands.   
“Who is it?” Sirius asked loudly. He nodded at Hokey to be prepared.  
No reply.  
“Who the hell is it, you bastard!” Harry yelled, earning a grin from Sirius.  
“It’s us! It’s us!” Ron called out.  
“Told you,” Harry whispered to Sirius. Sirius rolled his eyes.  
They both lowered their wands. “Who is ‘us’?” Sirius asked, approaching the hall.  
“I’m here too,” Hermione answered.  
“And me,” a voice came quietly. Remus.  
“Oh, so you finally decided to come look for me, did you?” Sirius said sarcastically.   
“You weren’t going to come back by yourself!” Remus cried.  
“Boy, do I feel special! Looked for solely because of my incompetency!”   
“Sirius, that’s not what he meant,” Harry chimed in.  
“Harry, with all due respect, stay out of this,” Sirius said quickly.  
“It’s not what I meant, Sirius,” Remus repeated. “I was worried about you.”  
“Now you’re worried about me? You weren’t worried about me at dinner! You weren’t worried about me when Molly was screaming at me!”  
“Sirius-“  
“No!” Sirius interrupted Remus. “You don’t get to ‘Sirius’ me right now! You’re letting Tonks go around holding your hand and fucking kissing you-“  
“Who told you!” Remus said frustratedly.  
“Bad response, Professor,” Hermione pointed out.  
“Hermione-“ Remus warned.  
“She’s right, Remus. It WAS a bad response.”  
“What am I meant to say, Sirius? SHE kissed ME! I didn’t say anything!”  
“That’s the fucking problem!” Sirius yelled. “You didn’t say ANYTHING!”  
“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Remus argued.   
“You won’t let me tell anyone! Not the adults, not even poor Tonks, who’s being led on, might I add! You wouldn’t even let me tell Harry!”  
“But you did anyway!”“OF COURSE I DID!” Sirius shouted. “He’s my godson! He’s James and Lily’s son! Of course I told him about what WAS the best thing in my life!”  
“Was?” Remus repeated worriedly.  
“Yes. Was. Because if this was still the best thing in my life, it would have to be the best in yours. And it’s clearly not.”“Sirius. It is. It obviously is,” Remus pleaded.   
“You won’t even tell anyone! Is that how embarrassed you are of me?!” Sirius yelled. He only just realise that that is what he was afraid of. He was afraid of Remus being embarrassed of him. He was afraid of the same thing he’d been afraid of when he was sixteen.  
“Sirius, I could never be embarrassed of you!”  
“Then why won’t you tell anyone?!”  
“I can’t!”  
“WHY?!”  
“BECAUSE I’M SCARED!” Remus yelled finally, silencing the room. Sirius glanced over at Hokey, who looked severely uncomfortable.  
“What?” Sirius whispered.  
“I’m scared! I’m scared of people saying nasty things to you! I’m scared of people picking on us if Snape tells the other side! I’m worried that people will try to kill me just to upset you! I’m worried that anything could upset you! I’m not embarrassed of you, this isn’t about me. I’m worried for YOU.”  
Sirius had no retort for that. It made quite a lot of sense.  
“And,” Remus continued, “If you really want to tell people, we can, okay? I just wanted to keep you safe! You’re the best thing in my life, you have been since we were eleven, and if anything happened to you because of our relationship I would NEVER forgive myself.”  
Harry, Hermione and Ron slowly creeped out of the hallway, in an attempt to give the two some privacy. Sirius knew they were listening from behind the wall.   
“I’m sorry,” Sirius whimpered. “I just hate her touching you, and I hate hiding this. I hate hiding it SO much.”  
“Okay,” Remus said, cautiously approaching Sirius. “Then we won’t hide it.”  
“But-“  
“We won’t hide it, Sirius. We can tell everyone when we get back, okay?”  
Sirius nodded and let Remus wrap his arms around him. “This is really hard, Remus. I don’t want to be there anymore.”  
“I know, baby, I know,” Remus stroked Sirius’ hair. “When it’s all over, we can clear your name. You can be free. We can go anywhere you want, okay?”  
Sirius nodded against Remus’ chest. “Okay.”  
“We have to go back now, Pads.” Sirius smiled at the nickname.  
“Fine. Can we just tell Tonks? Just to start?”  
“Sure we can,” Remus said into Sirius’ hair. “We can do anything you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovelies,  
> My breakup is HORRIBLE  
> fun update for you all xxx


	12. Remus: Messing Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I already posted this but I forgot the chapter before so I had to delete and repost xx
> 
> Remus messes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the chapter mess ups I feel realllllly bad

Remus, Sirius, Harry, Hermione and Ron were standing outside Grimmauld Place.  
“So. Should we go in?” Remus asked.  
Silence.  
“Should we go in?” He repeated.  
“Uh, I don’t really want to,” Harry spoke up.  
“Yeah, neither,” Ron added.  
Remus looked to Hermione for support.  
“Uh, Professor Lupin, I don’t mind going in, but if they don’t want to, I wouldn’t necessarily disagree,” she said guiltily.  
“Sirius?” Remus looked over, hoping Sirius would encourage Remus’ point of view.  
“Absolutely not. I’ll be hung up to dry if I walk in that house. And walking in is pretty much me accepting that I’m stuck there. Again.”  
Remus sighed. “Guys, we have to go in. The longer we stay out here the more irritated they will be.”  
“I’m going to be killed,” Harry said quietly.  
“Me too,” Hermione whimpered.  
“You?!” Ron exclaimed, looking between the two. “YOU?! My mother is in there and she is going to murder me! Or lock me in a broom cupboard for eternity!”  
Sirius coughed awkwardly to interrupt the broom cupboard comment. Harry looked extremely uncomfortable.   
“Shit, sorry mate,” Ron said awkwardly. “Didn’t mean to hit a nerve, or whatnot.”  
Harry waved him off. “It’s fine. But we should go inside.”  
“Why the sudden change of mind?” Hermione asked, stressed. She didn’t want to oppose Remus, but she was clearly glad that someone was disputing the whole ‘going inside’ idea.  
“Because I HAVE been locked in a broom cupboard and being yelled at isn’t as bad. Trust me. I don’t think Snape will be there, either, Sirius, so you’re off the hook. At least slightly.”  
“Snape won’t be there,” said Ron and Hermione.  
“What makes you so sure?” Asked Sirius.  
“He came over before we left. Dumbledore made it clear that he wasn’t welcome,” Hermione explained.  
“Oh,” Sirius considered. “Well. I guess we should go in.”  
“Ha!” Remus called uncharacteristically.  
“What now?” Sirius asked in shock.  
“Sorry. Um, that’s three against one, right? So, Ron and Hermione, I’ll take most of the heat, okay? Let’s just go home.”  
“This is NOT home!” Cried Sirius.  
Remus nodded. “I’m sorry. You’re right. Back to the fifth circle of hell?”  
Sirius smiled weakly. “Yeah. Back there.”  
With that, the five of them opened the door.

“WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN?!” Molly shrieked.  
“Molly-“ Sirius started.   
“NOT NOW, SIRIUS!”  
“Mum-“  
“We’ve been so worried!”  
“So worried!” Arthur echoed his wife.  
“We’ve been so concerned!”  
“So concerned!” Arthur chimed in.  
“There really-“  
“I WILL DEAL WITH YOU LATER!” Molly interrupted Sirius  
“We should all at least sit down,” Remus suggested gently. “Just to talk.”  
Molly seemed to calm temporarily. “Fine. Sitting rom. All of you.” The kids scurried off to the sitting room, but Sirius stayed put, assuming there would be another instruction for him. “AND you, Sirius. Definitely you.”  
Sirius sulked into the sitting room leaving Remus in the hallway.  
“Remus, dear, I’m not angry at you, you just should’ve bought the children back.”  
“I know-“  
“BUT,” she stopped him, “We can discuss it in there,” she said pointing to the sitting room.  
So, off they all went. Remus on the edge of the long couch, followed by Sirius, Harry, Hermione, and Ron, who may as well have been shrivelled up and dried out he looked so scared.  
Opposite them sat Molly (looking furious), Arthur (looking disappointed), Dumbledore (looking at the books, probably completely unaware of what was going on), Moody (scowling), Tonks (looking far too happy than the situation warranted) and Ginny, Fred and George, who were stood at the door (looking highly amused).   
It was like an awfully uncomfortable trial, Remus thought. And then he considered: oh shit. This was like a trial. A trial for the man next to him, the one who’d been locked up in Azkaban. Quickly, Remus grabbed Sirius’ hand and dragged him into the hall.  
“What is it?” Sirius asked sadly, once they were alone.  
“I know it seems like a trial. It’s not. They’re just worried about you, and Molly’s just…” Remus trailed off.  
“Being Molly,” Sirius nodded. “I know. Just… don’t leave, yeah?”  
Remus shook his head. “Never.”

——————————————

They’d all been sitting awkwardly for about five minutes before anyone actually spoke up.   
“Why are we here, exactly?” Moody asked sarcastically.  
“Alastor, you know why we are here,” Molly warned.  
“Then would you begin?”  
Molly scowled. “Very well. Remus, you’ve done nothing wrong. You just should’ve brought the children back.”  
“Molly,” Dumbledore interjected, “I think we can all agree that no amount of convincing could have gotten these children to come back.” Dumbledore winked.  
Molly considered this for a moment. “Fair enough.”  
“Oh is it,” Sirius muttered under his breath.  
‘What was that, Sirius?” Molly asked harshly.  
“Nothing, Molly. Nothing.”  
She glared at him intensely. “Fine. Harry, dear, I know that you were just trying to help Sirius, but it really isn’t your job-“  
“Then who’s job is it?!” Harry cried out dramatically. “No one else was going, and I was worried about him! He’s my family!”  
Molly scoffed. “Harry, it’s hardly fair-“  
“He. Is. My. Family.” Harry deadpanned.  
“Fair enough, Harry,” Arthur cut in, knowing his wife was on a path to self-destruction. “But you shouldn’t have gone. You put yourself in grave danger, you understand? And we’re all here to protect you, so it made us feel quite… inadequate,” Arthur finished.  
Harry frowned guiltily. “Sorry. I’m sorry you felt in adequate. But I got to see my grandparents-“  
“Harry!” Hermione gasped. Remus looked over to see Harry looking very, very embarrassed. He’d really screwed them all over by telling the crowd that.  
“You WHAT?!” Molly yelled. “You went WHERE?!”  
“Molly, that’s not his fault-“  
“I WILL DEAL WITH YOU LATER, SIRIUS!”  
Sirius threw his hands up in surrender and leaned back into the couch, mouthing ’sorry’ at Harry.  
“I’m sorry you felt inadequate but I’m not sorry that I went. Sirius is my family and I haven’t had one of those my whole life-“   
Clever, thought Remus. Playing the orphan card. He then mentally chastised himself for thinking such a thing.  
“I understand, Harry,” Molly said quietly. Harry gave a nod in return, and Molly turned her gaze to Hermione.  
“And Hermione!” Molly cried out. “I thought you would be far more responsible than to do a thing like this!”  
Hermione nodded, ashamed. “I know. I just couldn’t let anything happen to Harry.”  
Molly sighed and put her head in her hands. “I understand. There’s not much I can say, is there?” Hermione shook her head, hoping this would get her off the hook. Molly smiled. It did.  
“So, now this is all sorted-“ Ron began, getting up.  
“DON’T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, RONALD WEASLEY!”  
Ron fell back into his chair. “Worth a try,” he whispered at the couch. Remus forced himself not to smile.   
“I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU! MY VERY OWN SON! RUNNING AWAY, LIKE HE DIDN’T CARE ABOUT HIS MOTHER AT ALL!”  
Ron looked like he was going to be sick. “I had to help Harry!”  
“THAT IS NO EXCUSE!”  
“How come that worked for Hermione?!” Ron said, outraged.  
“You- you- you-“ Molly looked as though she was about to faint.  
“Your mother and I will talk to you later,” Arthur sighed.  
“Bloody hell,” Ron whispered, just loud enough for Remus to hear.  
“Now,” Molly glared at Sirius, “What on EARTH WERE YOU THINKING, SIRIUS!”  
“I-“  
“YOU’RE MEANT TO BE MATURE! YOU ARE NOT A TEENAGER! YOU CAN’T RUN AWAY EVERY TIME YOU GET IN TROUBLE!”  
“Maybe I shouldn’t be getting into trouble! I’m an adult! You chastise me like a child!”  
“THAT’S BECAUSE YOU BEHAVE LIKE ONE!”  
“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!” Sirius yelled at no one in particular.  
“Why did you actually leave, Sirius?” Dumbledore chimed in calmly.  
“Remus?” Sirius looked to his left. “Shall I tell them?”

Now, Remus couldn’t explain what happened next. He didn’t know why he didn’t tell them, he didn’t know why he chickened out, he just knew that he would live to regret it, but for some reason telling everyone that he was in a relationship with Sirius was just too much.

“It’s because Sirius and I had a fight. That’s all,” Remus explained, purposefully avoiding eye contact with his boyfriend.   
“Fuck’s sake,” Sirius mumbled, and got up. He pushed past Ginny, Fred and George and Remus heard him storm up the stairs.  
“What is WRONG with him?!” Molly cried.  
“Molly, it must be very tough-“  
“It’s tough for all of us, Albus! Why must he make it so difficult!”  
Dumbledore actually looked slightly uncomfortable. “It’s especially hard on Sirius, Molly. Let’s leave him for a while and have some tea. Does that sound alright?”  
Molly nodded. She was getting emotional. “Yes. That sounds alright.”  
“God, I could go for some tea,” Ron said happily. A mistake.  
“Oh no, Ronald, you three are to go to your rooms immediately. No biscuits either!”  
“Damn it,” Ron muttered.  
Remus attempted to follow the three up the stairs, hoping he could somehow explain why he chickened out to Sirius (even though he didn’t know why himself), but he felt a hand wrap around his wrist as he climbed the first stair.  
“Remus?” A quiet voice came from behind him. “Can we talk?”  
Remus sighed and forced himself to smile. “Sure we can, Dora. Tea first?”  
She nodded happily. “Tea first.”

————————————————————

“No offence Tonks, but you are the last person I want to talk to right now,” Remus called over his shoulder as he left Grimmauld Place. He didn’t need some air, he needed some space. Some space from everyone, except Sirius. But Sirius was the only person who wanted space from him.

Remus had fucked up. Big time.   
He didn’t mean to do what he did. He didn’t mean to ruin everything.   
But he did.

Here’s what happened.

It all started with tea.

“Remus, dear, I’m so sorry you went through all of that today,” Molly apologised, offering Remus a biscuit.  
All Remus could think was ‘Why the hell is she apologising to me? I’m the one that caused this whole mess!’  
“There’s really no need to apologise,” Remus said quietly, taking a biscuit from the tray.  
“We made you go!”  
“I wanted to,” Remus finally said. “I wanted to go.”  
“Why?” Tonks asked, looking perplexed.  
Remus could feel Ginny, Fred and George’s eyes burning into him, almost warning him not to lie.  
Remus could’ve come clean, then and there.  
He SHOULD’VE come clean, then and there.  
But instead he said “I needed to walk. It was a good opportunity, I guess.”  
Mentally, he banged his head against the table.  
“Sirius can be a nightmare sometimes,” Tonks sighed, smiling as though she was trying to keep the mood light.  
Remus pointedly stayed quiet.  
“Remus? Do you agree?”  
Suddenly the whole table was staring at him. They all wanted to know, once and for all, where Remus stood. It was an incredibly unfair position to put him in, if he did say so himself. But he didn’t say so himself. He should’ve, but he didn’t.  
Instead, he ignored the glares from the Weasley children, and said, quietly “I guess so.”  
Turns out that was enough to cause an explosion.   
“What the fuck!” The twins yelled in unison, standing up quickly.  
“George!” Yelled Molly at the same time as Arthur yelled “Fred!”  
“Nah, what the fuck!” Ginny repeated, pushing her chair out violently.  
“The three of you! Upstairs, now!”  
“WITH PLEASURE!” The three of them yelled over their shoulders as they stormed up the stairs.  
“What is going ON with everyone today?” Tonks asked, still smiling.“I don’t know,” Remus sighed. He did know, of course he did, but he couldn’t explain. He tried so hard, so, so hard, but it was like he froze up every time the topic came up.  
He was hurting Sirius so much. But he just wasn’t ready to explain.   
He needed to leave Sirius, he knew that much, but he was far too selfish for something like that. He was just being a shit boyfriend, and that would stop now.  
“You know what?” Remus said, standing up. “Sirius isn’t a nightmare. He’s been trapped in HELL for 12 years, and living as an outcast, as an ANIMAL since he escaped. Now he’s locked back up in the same house he tried so desperately to escape back in school.”  
“Remus, we know-“  
“No, Tonks, you don’t know,” Remus snapped. “I know. I know, James knew, even Peter knows! The worst part is that SNAPE knows. Alice knew, Frank knew, Caradoc and Benjy knew, Fabian and Gideon knew. Lily knew. Marlene and Dorcas know, or knew… I’m not sure. I’m not sure what happened to any of us. I know how most of us died, but none of it makes sense to me, even now. But they knew, okay? They knew what this house did to Sirius, and they knew him when he got out. They knew the smile on his face every time he got to go back to the Potters’, and they knew his energy, and his light, and his happiness. You DON’T know. You don’t know what’s going on with him. You don’t know just how hard it is for him to be back here.” Remus exhaled heavily. He hoped that would be explanation enough and that he could excuse himself without argument.  
Just as he moved to leave, Molly piped up.  
“I’m sure Tonks just meant that we can imagine-“  
“But you can’t!” Remus exclaimed. “You can’t imagine! You can’t imagine what it’s like for Sirius, you have no idea-“  
“We know Sirius, and-“  
“But you don’t!” Remus cried. “None of you do! You know the Sirius who’s living in the same house that he was cruicoed in when he was a child. He’s living in the place where his nightmares are set. So you don’t know him, you don’t know the real Sirius. None of you do. You know the man who causes inconveniences, and the man who leaves dinner early. You DON’T know the man who was tortured so deeply that he flinches when the door slams, every time. He has triggers. It’s not hard to explain. Certain things make him upset. I’m sure he doesn’t want you to know, but he was taking the potion for trauma all through school, and through the war, just so he could sleep at night, just so that the memories of being here didn’t kill him. Sometimes it STILL messes him up so badly that he runs away and goes to the Potters. He used to do that, even when we left school. So that’s what he did today. Knowing everything that you know now, can you really bloody blame him?!”  
The entire table was staring at Remus, eyes wide and jaws dropped.   
“We didn’t know,” Molly said quietly.  
“There’s reason for everyone’s behaviour, Molly,” Remus frowned. “It’s about time people stop having a go at him and realise that.”  
More silence.  
Then, the clack of a wooden leg against a chair as Moody stood up.  
“I’m going to talk to him.”  
“I’ll-“ began Molly, getting up.  
“Don’t follow me,” Moody sneered over his shoulder, his leg clacking against the wooden stairs.   
The entire table turned back to Remus. He couldn’t go upstairs now, and if he went into the sitting room he would unavoidably be followed, so he grabbed his jacket from the rack and threw it over his shoulders.  
“I’m getting some air,” he snapped at the table, turning down the hallway without waiting for a response.  
A voice came from the kitchen, along with the sound of a chair being pushed out. “I’ll come with you!”  
Remus sighed and pulled open the door, his cheeks whipped by the biting London air. “No offence Tonks, but you are the last person I want to talk to right now.”  
Remus slammed the door and set off down the street, no destination in mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me how you're liking the story in the comments xxx  
> Also massive shoutout to the reader who pointed out that I had completely skipped a chapter. Thank you SO much.  
> Breakup still sucks.  
> Love you all.  
> Gabby xxx


	13. Sirius: For Himself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I'm so sorry guys

Sirius had been crying. Properly crying. And Sirius didn’t actually cry a lot. Maybe he shed a few tears, and whimpered a bit, but he didn’t often wail. Remus had kept Sirius going since he was sixteen, but here, all these years later, the man was prioritising people’s opinions of him over Sirius. Considering that Sirius was the one who had built up all of that confidence, he was pretty pissed that Remus had taken that confidence and left Sirius behind.   
Well, Sirius tried to be pissed. It didn’t work.  
Instead of being pissed, he was just sad. And lonely. Harry and Hermione and Ron had knocked on his door and pleaded with him to open it for at least half an hour when Sirius first went into his room. Eventually, Hermione said “Sirius, we’re here if you need us. But we’ll leave you alone for a bit,” and she and the other two had climbed the stairs to their bedrooms.  
About fifteen minutes ago, Ginny had banged on the door until Fred and George stopped her and tried to use the magic that Sirius had taught them to break locking charms. It almost worked, too. But Sirius knew how to counteract his own magic. He’d had a lot of practice from counteracting James’.  
There were small bangs behind the door and smoke was seeping through the cracks and the keyhole, and just when Sirius was getting slightly concerned, there was a loud clack of wood-on-wood behind the door.  
“ENOUGH!” A gruff voice yelled.   
“Professor Moody, we’re just trying-“  
“Weasley, I’m sure you are, but I’ve got this,” Moody said.  
“It’s impossible to break down the door,” Fred sighed. (Or was it George? Sirius was pretty sure it was Fred.)  
“I think I’ll be fine, son,” Moody sighed, approaching the door.  
“It’s impossible!” Ginny cried.  
Moody muttered something quietly and Sirius heard the lock in the door click open. Sirius knew Moody would be able to crack it. Bloody Auror.  
“How the fuck did you-“  
“Weasley, I’m older and smarter than you’ll ever be. Get used to it.”  
The door swung open, and Moody limped in.

“Moody?” Sirius croaked, wiping his eyes, but not even attempting to hide that he’d been crying.  
“Sirius,” Moody stated, summoning an arm chair which he promptly fell back into. “I’m assuming you and Lupin are shacked up again?”  
Sirius wanted to tell Moody the truth but Remus already hated him and he didn’t want to fuck up the relationship even further. “No?”  
Sirius made the mistake of saying that while looking Moody in the eye.  
“You are a shite occlumens, Sirius.”  
“Damn it,” Sirius whispered under his breath. “Please don’t tell anyone.”  
“I won’t,” Moody paused, “But why?”  
“Huh?”“Why don’t you want anyone to know about you and Lupin?”  
Sirius tucked his knees up against his chest and stayed pointedly silent.  
“You don’t mind, do you. It’s him who doesn’t want to tell anyone.”Sirius nodded his head slowly.  
“Sirius, you’ve been through hell and back. And how you’re in hell again. Remus just stood up for you, down there. I’m. Not here to defend him, but I’m here to tell you what I think. But before I do, you should have the facts.”  
Sirius desperately hoped Remus had just told them. “What did he say?” He asked hopefully.  
Moody frowned. “He didn’t tell them about you two, Sirius. He just told them to be nice and back off.”  
“That’s really nice of him,” Sirius smiled, feeling far better.  
“No, son, it’s not.” Sirius looked up at him, confused. “He only just stood up for you. He’s been an arse for days. He’s put you last. He’s flirted with Tonks constantly-“  
“I thought I was going crazy,” Sirius mumbled.  
“No, kid, you’re not going crazy. I thought the way he was treating you was bad enough when I knew you were friends, but if you two are shacked up. Again, the way he’s treating you doesn’t fly with me.”  
Sirius was shocked. Was this Moody? Standing up for him? Giving him a life lesson?   
“What?” Sirius finally asked, for want of a better statement.  
“I know you love him, Sirius. You feel like he’s the only one who makes you happy, and who sees you for who you are. Right?” Sirius nodded. “That’s not true, son, it’s not. I see you. I’m hardly warm and mushy but I see you for who you are. So does Albus, and Sturgis, and Dedalus, and especially Emmeline and Hestia.”  
“That’s just because they knew me when I had seen better days,” Sirius pointed out.  
“You people never let me finish. Those kids see you. They love you, Sirius. They see you for exactly who you are and they wouldn’t change you if they could.”  
Sirius’ heart flooded with warmth for the first time in a long time. “You think so?”  
“Sirius, are you an alright legilimens?”  
Sirius nodded. “I’m okay.”  
“Look me in the eye.”  
Sirius did as the was told.  
“Sirius, they love you. You are a good person. You know I like Lupin, but you’re better than this.”  
Sirius gaped. “What now?”  
“You’ve gone through so much and you’re voluntarily letting yourself be treated like shit. You’re stronger than that Sirius. Stop being weak, because you’re not.”  
Sirius looked deep into Moody’s eyes, and saw that he was telling the truth, completely. “You’re fucking right, aren’t you,” Sirius smiled weakly.  
“Sirius, I’ve known you for twenty years. Haven’t you learnt by now? I’m always right.”  
The two sat in silence for some time, until footsteps came up the stairs. “Well, that’s my cue,” Moody said, heaving himself off the chair.  
“Thanks, Moody,” Sirius said, quietly.  
“You’re not weak, Sirius. Don’t act like it.”   
Moody swung the door open and it almost slammed. Almost. Almost, because there was a foot holding it open. 

—————————————

“Sirius?” An all too familiar voice called from behind the door.  
“I don’t want talk to you,” Sirius said. At least it was honest.  
“I know I messed up, okay? But can you just let me apologise?”  
Sirius didn’t respond. He didn’t respond because he wasn’t weak, goddamnit, and he didn’t NEED an apology to be. okay. He’d survived alone in Azkaban for 12 years. He has Harry now, and he has the other kids too. He doesn’t need Remus.  
He knew, deep down, that he did of course need Remus, but he didn’t need the Remus that treated him like shit. He wasn’t weak, he reminded himself. He was a good person. He was better than this.  
“I’m coming in,” Remus warned, and Sirius didn’t stop him. Remus shut the door behind him and moved to sit in the chair Moody had recently vacated.  
Sirius stared blankly at his fiancee. He sure as hell wasn’t going to be the first one to speak.  
“I’m sorry, Sirius, okay? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m -“  
Sirius held up his hand. “Stop, Remus. Saying sorry doesn’t fix it. I just want to know why you’ve been like this.”  
Remus sighed. “I’m not ready for them to know, Sirius.”  
Sirius tried not to get angry. “You can’t keep leading Tonks on! I’m jealous, sure, but that’s not why I’m saying this. She’s my baby cousin, she deserves better than this. You can’t keep letting everyone treat me like dirt, Remus, because even if we were ‘just friends’ I’d be angry at you for not standing up for me. I’m so lonely here, Remus. I’m so, so lonely. When the one person who always made you feel safe starts treating you like an outsider, it hurts, okay? And I don’t know if I can keep doing it.”  
Sirius shocked himself with his last statement. He didn’t even know that he felt that way, he didn’t know how close to the end of his tether he was. Judging by the look on Remus’ face, Remus didn’t know either.  
“I’m so, so sorry Sirius. I’ll be better. I promise I’ll be better,” Remus pleaded.  
Sirius wanted to say ‘Okay! It’s fine, I’ll hide this forever if you want’, but he remembered Moody’s words. He wasn’t fucking weak, and he was sick of feeling like it.  
“We have to tell people about us, Remus,” Sirius said quietly.   
“I can’t. I just can’t right now, okay? Maybe soon-“  
“No. Not ‘maybe soon’, we have to tell people about us now.” This was uncomfortable for Sirius, this whole ‘standing up for himself’ thing, and he wasn’t sure that he liked how it felt.  
“I can’t do that, Pads,” Remus said softly.  
“Then I can’t do this.” Sirius said, before he could stop himself.   
“What?”  
“You heard me.”  
Remus was on the brink of tears. “Please, Sirius, don’t do this,” he begged.  
“I didn’t do this, Remus, you did. You did this. You treated me like shit and you aren’t willing to compromise your fucking dignity, or whatever this is about, and just tell everyone we’re together!”  
“That’s not what it’s about, Sirius. It’s not about me.”Sirius threw his hands in the air, allowing himself to get frustrated. “Yes, well, it’s sure as hell not about me either, is it?! It’s sure as hell not about my happiness. You KNOW that none of them would care!” Sirius gestured too downstairs. “You KNOW that they’d be fine with it!”  
“Not everyone would be fine with it!” Remus blurted out.  
Great, Sirius thought. So it was about the other woman. “Is this about Tonks?” Sirius asked. Remus said nothing. “Oh my god, this is about fucking Tonks!”  
“That’s not what I meant, Sirius!”“Then what the fuck did you mean?!”   
“I’m not ready for them to know!”  
“Why?!”  
“I’m not ready to tell you!”  
“GET OUT!” Sirius yelled finally. And god, it felt good to say those words. It felt GOOD to stand up for himself. It felt GOOD that someone knew, Remus or someone else, that he WASN’T weak. He was Sirius fucking Black. Maybe he’d pushed away the Black gene so far that he’d forgotten how to be selfish. But this WASN’T selfish, Sirius reminded himself, this was fair. He needed to look after himself for the first time since he was at school. He’d always looked after the War, or The Order, or organising funerals. Hell, when he was young he looked after Regulus, not himself. The only time he’d gotten to himself was in Azkaban, and Azkaban was hardly the poster-prison for self care. He’d gotten out and looked after Harry, and Remus (as he always had). He didn’t resent anyone who he’d cared for, nor could he ever. But for once in his fucking life he was going to do what was right for HIM.  
Sirius looked up and saw Remus looking as though he’d been slapped in the face. “Sirius, you don’t mean that,” Remus said, but it sounded more like a plea than a statement.  
“I think you’ll find that I do.”  
The two stared at each other for a long time before Remus broke the silence.  
“I’m sorry.”  
Sirius sighed. “It’s okay.” And it was. It actually was. Sirius wasn’t okay, not by any means, but Remus not wanting to tell people was okay. It was his choice. And Sirius had felt horrible about letting Remus look after him since they were sixteen, so maybe it was time for Sirius to let him go.“Nothing about this is okay.”  
Remus was right. “True. But it’s what you need. You’re not ready for this.”  
“I am!” Remus protested.  
“Remus, you’re not. It’s okay. Take some clothes. You’ve made sure everyone thinks next door is where you sleep anyway,” Sirius said, a note of bitterness in his voice that he was barely aware of.  
“Don’t do this, Sirius.”  
“Do what?”“Leave me.”  
Sirius sighed and waved his wand to open the door.  
“It’s already done.”

————————————

Later that night, Sirius sat on their- no, on HIS, bed, and cried, for a long time. And, for his own heart, he tried to ignore the whimpers he heard through the wall, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK!  
> DO NOT READ BELOW IF YOU DON"T WANT SPOILERS!
> 
> They get back together. Duh.


	14. Remus: Invisible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it wasn't what Remus wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It broke my heart to write this, but it needed to be written.  
> It will all be okay, I promise.

Is this what it felt like to die? This must be what it felt like to die.  
Remus knew, he knew well, that this entire thing was his fault.  
The way that he felt back in school when Sirius abandoned him on the full (*reference to Merlin, These Boys are Idiots*), that must be how Sirius felt now. Like Remus didn’t care. Like Remus was ashamed of him.   
That wasn’t true. Sirius was the best thing that had ever, or could ever, happen to Remus, and he didn’t know it until he didn’t have him anymore.  
He would tell everyone, in a heartbeat, that he and Sirius were together. He would tell them now, if he could. He would tell them, but there was nothing to tell. 

Remus looked at the white gold ring on his bedside table, engraved with Moony, but he couldn’t bring himself to take off his own ring.  
He should, though.  
He should’ve told them. But there was absolutely nothing to tell.  
Because he and Sirius were nothing.  
And it hurt like hell.

—————————————

Remus spent the morning lying on the bed, not his bed, THE bed. He refused to accept that this was where he stayed now. The only thing worse than not sleeping with Sirius was sleeping in the room next to Sirius. He was so close, yet so, so far.  
Remus spent a long time conjuring small glowing orbs that floated around the room. They reminded him of the moon. Maybe it was his way of punishing himself, but Remus suspected it was more likely that he was conjuring the moons selfishly. They reminded him of the full. They reminded him of Moony and Padfoot. They would fight, and nip at each other, but then they would lick each others’ wounds, and play together in the leaves. It didn’t seem like they would be playing in the leaves ever again.  
Remus had changed in the cellar, the last moon. He’d forbidden Sirius from changing into Padfoot and joining him. The cellar was too constrained, Remus reminded Sirius, the wolf would get angry.  
Sirius never took credit for it, but Remus knew that Padfoot was curled up on the other side of the door, allowing Moony to smell him through the door.   
Remus wondered if that would happen again. The moon was next week, would Padfoot be waiting outside the door? Remus forced himself to think that no, he wouldn’t. He didn’t deserve a shred of Sirius’ attention, or of his love.   
But it was fine, because he didn’t have it anymore. He hadn’t lived a life without Sirius’ love since before Hogwarts. Even during Azkaban, there was this connection, this innate pull to Sirius. He still felt it, of course, but Sirius didn’t. It wasn’t the same. 

Remus hadn’t slept, he’d just thought about how to get Sirius to forgive him. But Sirius was stubborn. No, Remus chastised himself, this wasn’t about Sirius being stubborn, this was about Remus messing up. He’d always found a way to blame at least part of their problems on Sirius’ stubbornness, but he couldn’t this time. This time Sirius had tried, so hard, to be patient, and forgiving, and kind. He’d gone against what he considered to be his nature, despite the amount of times Remus had told him that his nature had nothing to do with his behaviour, and it hadn’t since the day he’d met the Marauders. The worst part is that Remus couldn’t blame Sirius for standing up for himself. If he wasn’t so heartbroken he would almost be proud that Sirius was being his own first advocate. It just destroyed Remus knowing that he was the one who Sirius had to stand up to.

Remus knew that Sirius was brave, but he also knew that Sirius was ruled by love, and emotion. He wouldn’t have left Remus if someone hadn’t pointed out that he deserved better than this. Moody. Moody was in the room before Remus had come in. So this was Moody’s fault, obviously.  
Remus knew, of course, that deep down he was just looking for someone, anyone, to blame. Because blaming someone was far easier than blaming himself right now. He’d always blamed himself for things that weren’t his fault, Remus realised, bu this time it was entirely his fault, and he would rather blame fucking Dumbledore than blame himself.  
Dumbledore had nothing to do with this, Remus reminded himself. He did. But, Moody did too. And Moody would have to face it.

—————————————

Remus got up, dissolved the orbs of light, got dressed and slid on some shoes. He’d shower later, he told himself. In truth, he was too depressed to look after himself right now.  
As soon as Remus opened the door he heard a laugh echo throughout the house.  
A laugh he recognised all too well.  
Sirius’ laugh.  
Remus felt his breathing become shallow. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea, maybe he should just leave Sirius be. He seems far happier, doesn’t he? He hasn’t laughed with anyone except Remus in months.  
No, Remus shook his head, Sirius could be happy AND be with Remus. It was possible, Remus just hadn’t been trying hard enough. So he put on a soft smile and drew himself up to his full height, and started down the stairs.

Remus stood in the doorway of the kitchen with his jaw dropped and eyes wide.  
The fuck was going on?There were magical fireworks exploding near the ceiling, and Molly didn’t even seem angry. In fact, she seemed heavily amused. Fred and George were whispering in hushed voices with Ginny, stopping to laugh every once in a while.  
Harry, Ron and Hermione were sitting in the windowsill. Harry’s trial was in two days, yet they all looked almost irritatingly cheery. Moody was sitting at the table with Arthur, who was talking animatedly about something (Remus would bet money that it was something to do with Muggles) and Moody was… was that a smile? Was Moody cracking a smile at breakfast?  
Dumbledore was talking with Molly at the other end of the table, happily eating fresh berries (where the fuck did they come from?) It was strange that Molly was sitting down, yet there was still a delicious smell wafting from the kitchen. Remus peered around the corner, to the stove, and saw quite possibly the strangest sight yet. 

Sirius was flipping pancakes (the muggle way?) while in an animated conversation with Tonks. They both had grins on their faces stretching from ear to ear and they burst out laughing at something that Sirius had said. 

What the flying fuck was going on?

“Remus!” Remus was snapped out of his thoughts by a voice calling out from the stove. Sirius?  
“Morning Professor Lupin!” Ginny called out, beaming.  
Had they all taken something? Were they actually on drugs?  
“Morning, Ginny,” Remus said warily, managing a smile.  
“So, how do you feel about pancakes?” Sirius asked from the stove, still smiling happily.  
“Uh, sure,” Remus said uncertainly.  
“They’re really good,” Ron said, shovelling one into his mouth.  
“Oh, stop it!” Tonks said, blushing.  
“Tonks made the batter, I’m merely the flipper,” Sirius said, looking over his shoulder at Remus as he effortlessly flipped a pancake.  
Remus was quite literally lost for words. He slowly approached the stove.  
“Tonks, could I have a word with Sirius?”  
Tonks nodded. “Of course!”  
“Sirius?” Remus asked quietly.  
“Yes, Remus?” Sirius responded, not looking away from the pan in front of him.   
“What’s going on?”  
“What do you mean?” Sirius asked, seemingly confused. But it had to be an act. Surely it was an act.  
“Really? You don’t see it?!” Remus was on the brink of frustration.  
“See what?”  
“Everyone is so fucking happy!” Remus yelled in a whisper.  
“Yes! It’s nice, isn’t it?” Sirius beamed, moving the pancakes to another plate and ladling more batter into the pan.  
“Yes,” Remus said, “But how?”  
“Oh! It was brilliant. Pancakes seem to really boost morale,” Sirius smirked.  
“Did you put something in them?” Remus asked, concerned.  
“Yes, I did, that’s why everyone enjoys them so much, obviously.”  
“Sirius! You can’t do that!”  
“Can’t do what?” Sirius said, perplexed.  
“You can’t drug people without them knowing!”  
Sirius chuckled. “Oh, Remus, do you think so little of me?”  
“Huh?” Now Remus really was confused.  
“I meant cinnamon, Remus. I put cinnamon in the pancakes.”  
Remus felt like an idiot. “Oh. Right.”  
“Anyway, how many would you like?” Sirius asked nonchalantly, gesturing to the plate in front of Remus.  
“Are we not going to talk about this?” Remus asked, almost sadly.  
“There’s nothing to talk about, Remus,” Sirius said, his tone suddenly sombre.  
“We have to talk about us.”  
“We don’t.”  
“We do.”  
“Well I don’t want to, okay? So please just let me be.”  
Remus’ breath hitched in his throat. “Okay, but I’m not okay with this.”  
“Why wouldn’t you be?” Sirius asked, seeming genuinely interested. “Are you really asking me that?” Remus asked, now definitely frustrated.  
“Think about it, Remus. Now you can be honest, you aren’t hiding anything anymore. This is what you wanted, remember?”  
Remus felt his heart break, then and there. Sirius really thought that Remus would be happier now.  
“It’s not what I wanted. We can tell them, okay?”  
Sirius shook his head. “Moony. There’s nothing to tell.”  
They stood, staring at each other, in silence, for a minute or two, before Molly came over and interrupted.  
“Sorry, dears, but are there more pancakes? Ron eats like he hasn’t in days every morning!”  
Sirius immediately cracked a smile, like he was slipping into a role effortlessly. “Of course, Molly. Fresh batch, up now!”  
Then Tonks came back over, and Arthur called Sirius over to tell him a story he ‘might enjoy’, and Hermione took over flipping the pancakes.   
And Remus was left, standing in the kitchen, as everyone bustled around him. This is what it felt like, he decided. THIS is what being alone was.  
He’d wished for this thing, his whole life, but now that he felt it, he couldn’t imagine ever wanting to feel this way.  
He couldn’t imagine why he’d ever wanted to feel invisible.

———————————————

“Remus, I need you to go on a mission. Now, I understand if you don’t-“  
“I’ll do it,” Remus interrupted Dumbledore. “I know you said you would only ever go for two weeks, but-“  
“I’ll go for as long as you want.”  
“Remus, are you okay?”  
Remus forced the tears to stay behind his eyes.  
“I’m fine. When do I have to go?”  
Dumbledore looked concerned, but he continued. “Either next week, or…” he trailed off.  
“Or when?” Remus snapped.  
“Remus, what’s going on?”  
“Nothing. Next week or when?”  
Dumbledore sighed. “Tonight.”  
“Where am I going?”  
“The pack.”  
Remus stood up. “I’ll get my things.”

And that’s how Remus ended up at the top of a hill in the middle of Scotland, looking down at the small settlement that always welcomed him home.   
He thought going somewhere else would make him feel differently.  
But he felt the same.   
Maybe he didn’t feel it, maybe without Sirius he actually was.  
He’d got what he’d wanted, since the day he was bitten.  
Without Sirius, maybe he actually was invisible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, writing this was hard.  
> I hope you're all doing well.  
> My ex has become a raging bitch. If you read my end notes ever since my first fic you can see the progression of my relationship. It's actually quite amusing.  
> xoxo Gabby


	15. Sirius: Break Up or Make Up?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus returns from the pack.  
> They have The Talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter has heavy smut. Would you like me to   
> A) Include it  
> B) Make it PG  
> C) Leave it dirty as fuck!

Life without Remus was utter shite.  
He pretended to be okay, to be good even, around everyone else, but deep down he was incomplete. Maybe not that deep down, but he was doing his damndest.  
Remus had been gone for two weeks and didn’t show any sign of coming back anytime soon. Sirius forced himself to remain distracted, and it was easy for a while there. Harry had his trial, was let off (but not without a fight), and that was great and all, but being let off and allowed to go back to Hogwarts meant that Harry couldn’t stay with Sirius. It was incredibly selfish, to actually hope that Harry would be expelled, but Harry was the son he never had… and the best friend who he did.   
He would’ve felt far more okay about being in Grimmauld Place if Remus was there with him. 

Sirius and Tonks had grown closer, as they should’ve always been. Andromeda had visited, to Sirius’ great delight, and Snape was staying away from the house unless he was specifically summoned, which was rare (Sirius was in such a good. No one wanted to ruin it). Molly and Sirius had grown closer, well, maybe that’s a stretch… they were civil, at least. Everyone was essentially one big happy family, if you ignore the whole war thing.  
However at night, when Sirius went to bed, he felt empty.

Sirius realised one night that he meant to tell Remus that he wanted a break. That’s what he wanted, he just didn’t know at the time. Sirius wouldn’t expect Remus to come running into his arms if Sirius mentioned getting back together, he had broken Remus’ heart after all, but he couldn’t help but wish.  
Sirius didn’t regret breaking things off. Remus needed a wake up call, sure, but so did he. He needed time to remind himself that he was worth something on his own, and that he wasn’t weak, for fuck’s sake, he was strong. But now Remus was gone, and he didn’t know when he was coming back.  
Now Umbridge was making laws about werewolves, and the war was getting more vicious, and there was even more push back from the ministry, publicly denying Harry’s story at any chance they got just to save their own arses. With utter loneliness on his mind, Sirius lay down that night.  
He didn’t sleep.

————————————————

A few days later, Sirius woke up to yelling. Specifically yelling between Fred, George and Molly. Always a lovely way. To wake up, Sirius thought. Just lovely.  
He showered, because Ginny had whispered in his ear ‘Sirius, I know you’re depressed, and Professor Lupin is gone, but please don’t deny yourself physical hygiene.If not for your own sake, please, for ours’. He pulled on some clothes that were horribly mismatched, but he found that he didn’t care. He tiptoed down the stairs, standing behind the doorway to eavesdrop, just as he had when he was a child in this godforsaken house.  
“You CANNOT expect me to let you drop out of school to start a JOKE SHOP!” Molly yelled.  
“Mum, it’s what we’re good at! It’s how we can make money! It’s what will make us happy!” Fred (George?) cried out.  
“AND, everyone needs a good laugh right now! Especially when Voldemort actually comes into the open, people arguing to want to smile!” Added George (Fred?).  
“It’s not YOUR job to make people laugh!” Molly fought back.  
“WHY SHOULDN’T IT BE?!” George and Fred yelled in unison.  
“Because you’re children!”  
“We’re seventeen!”  
“This is ridiculous and absolutely NOT happening,” Molly huffed finally, and stormed out of the kitchen. Sirius made it look like he had just come down the stairs, which appeared no less suspicious that if she had seen him standing by the door way, but oh well. Sirius entered the kitchen to see Fred and George whispering in hushed voices.  
“That seemed fun,” Sirius smiled.  
“You have no idea,” George frowned.  
“I think you’ll find that I do.”  
Fred looked at Sirius. “What?”  
“I quite literally abandoned my family because what I wanted to do with my life didn’t fit their expectations of me,” Sirius pointed out.  
“You’re saying we should leave our family?” George gaped.  
Sirius cringed. “God, no. Of course not. Molly wants the best for you, she just thinks that’s what’s best for her is also best for you. Everyone is destined for different things. Hell, look at where I am, and I tried to do everything right. Nothing ever goes according to plan. Molly might want you to graduate, and get stable jobs, because that’s what most people do. But you’re different, you have a talent that many people do not. You don’t play pranks to solely fuck with people, you do it to add a bit of joy into someone’s life. That’s admirable, really,” Sirius smiled.  
“He has a point, you know,” a voice came from behind Sirius. He whipped his head around and saw Remus, leaning against the door frame, a bag slung over his shoulder and looking terribly tired.  
“Hi Professor Lupin!” Hermione called from the sitting room.  
“I guess Sirius does have a point,” Fred considered.  
“What do we do?” George asked.  
“I can’t tell you what to do. Everyone is destined for different things, and if I told you what to do I would be doing the same thing as your mother.”  
The boys remained silent for a while, but Remus broke the tension.  
“Sirius, can we talk?”  
“Sure, take a seat,” Sirius said. He knew that Remus’ subject was ‘just us’, but he also knew he would colossally fuck up if they were to be alone together.  
“Alone, Sirius.”  
Sirius nodded and pushed back his chair, meeting Remus at the bottom of the stairs.  
“Must we?” Sirius asked. He tried to sound nonchalant, but it just came out as nervous.  
“I think we should.”“Our room? Shit, sorry, my room?”  
Remus’ face fell. “Yeah. Your room.”

————————————————

Never before had Sirius and Remus felt awkward in each others company, let alone awkward in their own bedroom. But it was different now. Sirius knew what he wanted, he wanted Remus. He just didn’t want the Remus who ignored him and didn’t stand up for him; he wanted the Remus who had loved and cherished him since they were sixteen, up until five months ago  
“What do you want to talk about?” Sirius asked.  
“You.”  
“Me?”  
“Yes,” Remus sighed. “You. What do you want, more than anything in the world?”  
Sirius cocked his head. “That’s an odd question.”  
“Yes, well, I’ve just spent however long with a werewolf pack. Excuse me if my social skills leave something to be desired,” Remus answered, the ghost of a smile on his lips.  
Sirius was suddenly filled with jealousy. “Was Sebastian there?” He snapped.  
“Yes, he was.”  
“Did he make any moves?” Sirius asked quickly.  
Remus smirked in a way that irritated Sirius immensely. “Why do you care?”  
“Fuck off, Remus,” Sirius stated. Remus knew exactly why he cared and it wasn’t fair for him to tease.  
“But why?”  
“My god! You know why!”  
Remus played dumb. “No, I don’t. You left me, remember?”  
Sirius filled with rage. “No, Remus. You left me. I’m just the one that finally ended it.”  
“What?”  
“You ignored me, abandoned me, lied about me, were ashamed of me, and you flirted with Tonks constantly in front of my face. You left ME, Remus. I’m just the one who ended it.”  
Remus turned white as a ghost. “I… I didn’t see it like that.”  
“Clearly,” Sirius huffed, crossing his arms.   
“I didn’t do anything with Sebastian. Or Tonks,” Remus quickly added.  
Sirius tried his best not to look relieved. “You were right. I shouldn’t care.”  
Remus shook his head sadly. “No, you were right. And I thought about it every damn second I was gone. Even Suzanna complained about my moping.”  
Sirius stared blankly.  
“I feel invisible without you, Sirius.”  
Sirius wanted to tell Remus that he felt invisible too. Remus had been making him feel invisible. Then he realised that he could say that. It wasn’t like there was anything left to lose.  
“You’ve made me feel invisible, Remus.”  
Remus hid his face in his hands. Sirius knew him too well to let him pretend that he wasn’t crying.  
“Remus, don’t cry. It’s okay-“  
“No!” Remus exclaimed, looking up with teary eyes. “It’s not fucking okay! You’re my best friend, you’re my boyfriend… you were my boyfriend, at least, you were my fiancee, and my lover, you’re my everything and I made you feel like shit!”  
Sirius couldn’t argue with that.  
“I don’t have a retort for that,” Sirius smiled.  
Remus laughed weakly. “You shouldn’t have one. There’s nothing I can do to make it up to you, Sirius. I don’t deserve you. I will never deserve you.”  
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Remus. You do deserve me. You just haven’t recently.”  
“I don’t know how to explain what’s been going on,” Remus sighed.  
“Try.”  
Remus inhaled, and began. “My whole life I’ve felt second to you and James. Yes, even after he and Lily died, I felt second. Losing Lily was losing the only person who ever made me feel like I was the MOST important, the MOST fun, the MOST exciting… And she and James died, you went away, and I was left feeling like I would be last, forever.   
“You were always first to me,” Sirius whispered.  
“It’s just… when we came here, I had a chance to be first, to everyone, for once. I had a chance to be everyone’s favourite. I had a chance to be- and I know it sounds childish - popular, I guess. You were competition, kind of, and I took advantage of the fact that I had the control to put you down.”  
Sirius looked at Remus with tears in his eyes. How could someone he loved purposefully hurt him like that?  
“And,” Remus continued, “The Tonks thing was about someone liking me who didn’t know everything I’ve done. Someone who saw me as someone as innocent as her. I’ve never liked her, Sirius, and it’s been cruel for me to entertain her flirtations, but I couldn’t bring myself to break her heart. I couldn’t do that when I already knew that I was breaking yours. I didn’t stand up for you because I wanted to be everyone’s favourite. That’s disgusting, it’s sick, I know, but that’s the truth.”  
Sirius had given wiping tears from his eyes and was letting them drip off his chin. “How could you do that to me?”  
“That’s the thing!” Remus threw his hands up. “I didn’t know I was doing it! I would never have done that to you on purpose. That doesn’t make up for it, but I wouldn’t have.”  
The two sat in silence for a while before Remus spoke again.  
“I think I know how to explain it. My whole life, I wished I was invisible. You and James and Peter made me feel, seen? Seen, I guess. And then when you were all gone, I tried so hard to be invisible again. I thought it was safer that was. You can’t lose anyone if you don’t have anyone at all.”  
That was the single most depressing thing that Sirius had ever heard.  
“I didn’t speak to anyone for months,” Remus continued, “I never made friends, but when I came here I felt seen again. I just didn’t realise that being seen came with the expense of you being invisible. Remember that morning, when you and Tonks were making pancakes?”  
Sirius nodded. “Pretending to be okay was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And I was quite literally wrongly imprisoned for twelve years.”Remus smiled weakly. “That morning, I felt invisible. And the worst part is that I had wished for that feeling my whole life, but I finally felt it that day, and I cursed myself for ever wishing to feel that way in the first place.”  
Sirius tried to digest all of that information at once, but really, he only had one question.  
“What are you saying, Remus?”  
“You make me feel seen, Sirius. And the fact I made you feel invisible breaks my heart even more than the idea that you’ll never love me again. I’m so, so, so sorry. I’ve been an idiot, and a bastard, and a prick, and a cu-“  
“Remus.” Sirius interrupted Remus’ train of thought. “I agree.”  
“You agree?”“You’ve been a right bastard. But I don’t know why you ever thought I didn’t love you.”  
Remus’ eyes lit up in a way Sirius hadn’t seen them since the Shrieking Shack. “But you ended it,” Remus frowned.  
“Remus, do you love me?” Sirius asked.  
Remus nodded so profusely that his head almost fell off its hinges.   
“But you treated me like shit?”  
Remus smiled. “Touché, my love, touché.”  
“I want to be with you Remus-“  
“Wait, really?! I just-”  
Sirius held up his hand. “I want to be with the Remus I’ve known since we were twelve. The REAL Remus. I don’t want to be with the Remus of the past five months.”  
Remus nodded aggressively again. “Okay. I can do that.”  
“This isn’t an ultimatum, Remus, I want you to be happy,” Sirius said. And he meant it.  
“You make me happy. We could live in a cave together with no clothes or friends and I would be happy, because I’d have you.”  
“Moony?” Sirius asked nervously.  
“Pads?” Remus replied, beaming at Sirius’ use o the nicknames.  
“Can I have my ring back?”  
Sirius had never seen Remus move that quickly. He bolted to the other room and came back with two white gold bands.  
“Husbands?” Remus asked hopefully.  
“Husbands,” Sirius answered, slipping the ring back onto his finger.   
“Great!” Remus jumped up. We have to go and tell everyone!”  
Sirius groaned. “Can we do it tomorrow? I’m so tired!”  
Remus glared at his fiancee. “You’re kidding me, right?”  
Sirius smirked. “Yes. But, you said we’d be happy anywhere, right? What was that example you gave?”  
Remus looked perplexed. “In a cave, with no clothes or-“  
“Stop there,” Sirius smiled suggestively. “And lock the door.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long. I'm trying really hard guys :/
> 
> Please leave comments on what to do about the smut!  
> xoxo gabby


	16. Remus: Make Up. Definitely Make Up.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little makeup sex is in order.
> 
> WARNING: SMUT. You can skip this chapter and miss barely any plot. If you wish to avoid the smut, the last section of the chapter is separated as a recap of the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! I'm not great with smut, but I hope you enjoy this ;))

Sirius and Remus hadn’t had sex in over a month. Sure, they’d participated in the occasional blowjob before they broke up, but they hadn’t been with each other, properly, in a long, long time. Or long for them, at least.  
But Sirius was suggesting that they have sex now. Like, now. And Remus tried not to look ecstatic, but he figured that the massive grin on his face wasn’t doing much to hide his excitement. He hadn’t pushed Sirius when it came to their sex life, because he knew Sirius had been nervous ever since Azkaban, even though Remus constantly assured him how beautiful he was. But he didn’t push today, and he was about to have sex with his boyfriend, who he never even thought he would kiss again. It was bloody marvellous.  
“Close the door?” Remus asked hastily.  
Sirius smirked. “Yes, Moony, close the fucking door. Lock it. And throw up a silencing charm for good measure.”  
“Your wish is my command, baby,” Remus smiled, locking the door and silencing the room. He wandered back to their (their!!) bed, and sat down carefully, not wanting to pressure Sirius into anything. “What are you suggesting, Pads?”  
Sirius chuckled. “What do you THINK I’m suggesting, Moony dearest?”  
“I don’t want to push you,” Remus frowned.  
Sirius smiled softly. “You’re not, baby. Trust me.”  
“Okay,” Remus smirked. “What do you want?”  
Sirius sighed. “You.”  
Remus rolled his eyes. “Yes, but how do you want me? What do you really want?”  
“I want you in every way. I want anything you’ll give me.”  
Remus grabbed Sirius’ hands. “I’ll give you everything, I always will.”  
“Then give me everything, Remus. Give me everything.” Sirius’ eyes darkened as he smirked at Remus. “Everything,” he repeated in a growl.  
That pushed Remus over the edge. He pushed Sirius down onto the bed and pinned his arms above his head, lying on top of him.  
“Mmm, Moony. Missed this,” Sirius keened.  
“Shut up,” Remus growled.   
“Or what?”  
Remus captured Sirius’ lips in a crushing kiss. “Want to find out?” He panted as he pulled away.  
“Love to,” Sirius tried to catch his breath. “Show me, Moony. Show me.”  
Show him? Remus would show him, that’s for sure.

Remus unbuttoned Sirius’ shirt, eventually getting impatient and ripping it open, sending buttons flying around the room.   
“Hey, that was my favourite shirt!” Sirius complained, sitting up.  
“I’ll buy you a new one,” Remus hissed. “Now stop moving.”  
“I’d rather not,” Sirius smirked.  
“You’d rather not?” Remus repeated angrily.   
“Yes, I’d rather not.”  
“Wait.” Remus sat up and climbed off Sirius. “We need to talk first.”  
“Way to ruin the mood,” Sirius sighed, sitting up.  
“You know you can ask me to stop at any time, yes?”  
Sirius nodded. “Yes.”  
“What are our safe words?”  
“Red for stop, yellow for check in and green for keep going.”  
Remus smiled and stroked Sirius’ cheek. “Good boy. How do you want it?”  
“I want you. In me,” Sirius clarified, blushing.  
“Okay baby,” Remus leaned in and kissed Sirius lightly. “You ready?”  
Sirius hummed. “Very ready, baby.”  
“Colour?”  
“Green. Very green. Very, very-“  
“Shut it.” Remus leaned down and captured Sirius lips, undoing his fly. Sirius moaned into Remus’ mouth, both of their cock’s twitching with interest. Remus pulled down Sirius’ pants, leaving him in just his boxers.  
“Yellow,” Sirius said quietly.  
Remus quickly moved from on top of Sirius. “What’s up, love? Are you okay?”  
Sirius nodded. “It’s just… can you take your clothes off too?”  
Of course, Remus remembered. Sirius hates being vulnerable and alone. He hates being the only one naked. He likes Remus being in control, but he hates thinking that he doesn’t have any control himself.  
“Yes, baby, I’m so sorry,” Remus apologised, stripping down to his boxers immediately.  
“It’s okay,” Sirius smiled. “It’s better now.”  
“Okay. You sure? We can stop if you want,” Remus assured his fiancee.   
“No! No. Don’t stop. Make me feel it. Please.”  
Remus smiled at Sirius. “Okay. Thank you for using your words.”  
Sirius just nodded at Remus with a smile. “Keep going, you devil.”  
Remus jumped on top of Sirius again and started peppering love bites all over his neck.  
“Remus! People will see!”  
“Don’t care,” Remus growled. He sucked another mark onto Sirius’ neck. “Mine.”  
Sirius moaned at that. “Touch me. Please!”  
“So needy, baby,” Remus teased, but he removed his mouth from Sirius’ neck and started travelling his mouth down to Sirius’ nipples. He swirled his tongue around one and pinched the other, and then lightly bit down, causing Sirius to cry out. Sirius’ hand muffled his cry and Remus swatted it away.  
“I want to hear you,” Remus whispered into Sirius’ ear. “I like you loud.”  
Sirius moaned at that, relinquishing all control over his voice.  
“Much better,” Remus smirked. “Much better.”  
Remus kept kissing Sirius’ stomach down to his hip bones.   
“More, Moony, more,” Sirius pleaded.  
Remus responded by pushing his boxers down, revealing what he thought was the most perfect cock in the world. “God, Pads. So perfect,” Remus moaned.  
“Please touch-“ Remus took Sirius’ cock all the way down his throat, sucking like a starved man.  
“Ahh!” Sirius cried out. “Yes, baby, yes!”  
Remus kept sucking, using his free hand to play with Sirius’ balls. He slowly slipped his hand back and used his finger to circle Sirius’ hole. Sirius keened and lifted his hips off the bed, his cock slipping out of Remus’ mouth.  
“Pass me the lube, baby,” Remus panted, trying to regain his breath after having his mouth filled. He hated how empty it felt afterwards. Sirius seemed to noticed this, because he pulled Remus up for a kiss. “Baby, I just had your cock in-“  
“Don’t care,” Sirius mumbled against Remus’ lips. “Don’t y’know that by now?”  
Sirius had a point, Remus realised. Many years of sex, he should know that by now.  
They kissed for a while, and Remus realised that he’d somehow lost his boxers, and Sirius was palming his cock. “Baby,” Remus moaned.  
“So good, Rem,” Sirius keened. “So perfect for me.”  
“All for you,” Remus reminded his fiancee. “Always for you.”  
Remus snuck his hand down to Sirius’ hole, craving the heat of Sirius’ arse.   
Sirius started fiddling with the items in his bedside table, eventually finding the jar of lube, that they used so often, to Remus.  
Remus quickly scooped a small amount onto his fingers and lightly rubbed it on Sirius’ hole.  
Sirius hissed. “Cold,” he explained.   
“Shh, baby,” Remus whispered, rubbing the lube around to warm it up.  
“Mmm,” Sirius sighed. “Better.”  
“Ready, gorgeous?”  
Sirius moaned in agreement.  
“Colour?”  
“G-green,” Sirius stuttered, his eyes fluttering open and closed.  
“Okay baby,” Remus whispered, pushing one finger inside Sirius. Sirius started shaking, which usually wasn’t a good sign. “Baby?” Remus asked, stilling his finger, but not pulling it out.  
“I’m g-good,” Sirius stuttered. “Just been a l-long t-time,” he explained.  
“You sure?” Remus couldn’t bare the thought of hurting Sirius right now. Or ever.  
“Yes,” Sirius said with certainty. “Green, green, green, gree-“  
Remus stroked Sirius’ prostate to shut him up.  
“Argh!” Sirius yelled.  
“Good, baby?” Remus said seductively. It was sexy, sure, but he was also checking that Sirius was okay.  
“So good,” Sirius sighed. “Ssooo good.”  
Remus kept massaging Sirius’ prostate with one finger and simultaneously stroked Sirius’ cock back to full hardness.   
“More, Rem, more, please, please, more,” Sirius begged.  
Remus pushed another finger in with his first. Sirius moaned even louder than before, making Remus grin.  
“I’m ready,” Sirius panted.  
“No, you need one more,” Remus stated. “I don’t want to hurt you.”  
“I’m ready, Moony. I want to feel it. I want it to hurt.”  
Remus was in an awkward situation here. He didn’t want to hurt Sirius, but he desperately wanted to please him.   
He decided that it was more important not to hurt him. It always was. “I’m gonna do one more, but just for a bit, okay?”  
Sirius glared at Remus. Then he smiled. “Okay.”  
Remus pushed another finger into Sirius, scissoring them and stretching Sirius out. Sirius started moaning desperately, and Remus knew that he was ready.  
“Now?” Remus asked, knowing that he needed permission during every stage.  
“Yes, god, yes,” Sirius keened, pushing back on Remus’ fingers.   
“Okay,” Remus said, pulling his fingers out.  
“Urghhhh,” Sirius groaned at the feeling of emptiness.   
“Hey, baby, just one second,” Remus assured Sirius that he wasn’t leaving. “Right here, okay? Just one second,” Remus said, rushing to cover his cock with lube.  
“Not too much,” Sirius said quietly.  
“What?”  
“Not too much.”  
Remus stilled his hands. “Okay, but can I ask why?”  
Sirius frowned. “I want to feel it. I want it to hurt.”  
“You want it to hurt? I don’t want to hurt you,” Remus said, warily.  
“No, not like hurt, hurt. Just, I want to feel it.”  
Remus had an idea. “How about I use lube so it’s comfortable, but make it hard for you?” Remus said the last part seductively, knowing Sirius would respond better to that.  
Sirius smirked. “Okay, baby. But let me.”  
Sirius sat up and stroked Remus’ cock, covering it with lube.   
“Get down,” Remus growled. It turned Sirius on, being dominated. It really fucking turned Remus on too. Sirius didn’t move, so Remus pushed him down.  
Sirius got up and crawled onto his hands and knees. Remus immediately flipped him back onto his back.  
“I want to see you,” Remus said softly. “You’re so pretty when you cum.”  
Sirius blushed and moaned quietly. “Come on baby. Do it.”  
“Don’t tell me what to do,” Remus hissed.  
“Fuck me, Remus. Fuck me hard and fast and deep and-“  
Remus pushed into Sirius, burying himself to the hilt. Sirius screamed.  
Remus started pushing into Sirius at a punishing pace. “This what you wanted?” Remus panted. “This what my baby wanted?”  
“Harder,” Sirius pleaded.  
“You want it harder?” Remus challenged. Sirius nodded rapidly.  
“If you think you can take it,” Remus growled. He began fucking Sirius with abandon, hitting his prostate with every thrust. Sirius was moaning, and it was music to Remus’ ears. He lifted Sirius’ legs over his own shoulders, allowing him to push deeper into his beautiful fiancee. Sirius looked like an angel spread out under him, his black hair splayed out over the pillow.  
“I’m c-close,” Sirius whispered, reaching for his cock. Remus swatted his hand away immediately and started stroking Sirius himself.   
Remus was painfully close as well, but he refused to finish until Sirius got his release. He tried to remain strong, but his pace was becoming uneven and stuttered. This didn’t seem to matter to Sirius, who was shaking, seconds away from his release.  
“Cum for me,” Remus whispered into Sirius’ ear. Sirius immediately came, spilling onto his hand and both of their stomachs.  
“Cum in me, please,” Sirius begged. Remus groaned and released into Sirius, fucking through his orgasm.  
“Stay in for a second,” Sirius asked quietly.  
“Of course, my love,” Remus smiled. He couldn’t help collapsing onto Sirius, but he managed to keep his softening cock inside the other man as they lay there.  
“Moony, are you okay?” Sirius asked Remus.   
“I’m amazing. Are you okay, Pads?”Sirius beamed at Remus. “I’m fantastic.”  
“That was fantastic.”  
“WE are fantastic.”  
They lay in silence for a while, Remus waving his wand and cleaning them up easily. Remus realised that he didn’t care who knew, he didn’t care what happened, he just cared that he had the beautiful man lying next to him for the rest of his life.

————————————————

“Moony, do you think we could tell them after dinner?”  
Remus was almost excited to let everyone know about their relationship, so he smiled and said “Yes. We can tell them whenever you want.”  
Sirius grinned. “You don’t mind?”  
Remus grabbed Sirius’ hands. “I’m excited.”  
The two men sat on the edge of their bed. “Molly’s going to have a field day,” Remus laughed.  
“What about how Tonks will react?!” Sirius chuckled.  
“I actually think she’ll be happy for us,” Remus considered.  
“I highly doubt that.”  
Remus stood up and pulled Sirius with him, walking them both over to the door. “Guess we’ll find out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi babies! I'm managing to update twice or three times a week. I also met a new girl who's really cute teehee  
> I hope youre all well xxx  
> Gabby <3


	17. Sirius: Coming Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys finally tell everyone!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't a really exciting chapter, but it's fluffy and it made me happy, and I hope it makes you. happy too :)

“Wait!” Sirius cried out as Remus reached for the door knob.  
“What?! We’re finally-“  
“Remus, I hate to ruin this moment but we don’t have any clothes on and something tells me that they won’t have the best reaction if we both come downstairs naked.”  
Remus looked and Sirius from head to toe and smirked. “Fine.”  
As they dressed, Sirius realised that this was the moment he’d been waiting for for months. He’d waited while Remus had gone on missions, and they’d even broken up over it, and finally, finally, they were going to tell everyone.  
“You know,” Remus said, while pulling on his pants, “we could’ve gone downstairs naked.”  
“Are you mad?”  
“It’s not like they’re going to have the best reaction anyway.”  
Sirius sighed. Remus had a point.  
Once they were both dressed, Sirius smiled at Remus. A true, genuine smile. Remus beamed back at him, and they grasped hands and opened the door.

Sirius led the way down the stairs, still smiling to himself. He really was the luckies guy in the world. They both took deep breaths as they reached the bottom of the stairs, but just as they made for the kitchen a voice stopped them.  
“Wait!” Hissed Hermione.  
“What?!” Sirius whispered.  
“What on earth are you doing?!” Ginny whispered at them, looking Sirius up and down.  
“We’re telling them! We’re finally telling them!” Remus grinned.  
“No!” The two girls cried under their breaths.   
“Seriously?! You’ve been asking for this for months!”  
Hermione put her head in her hands.  
“What is it?” Sirius asked, rolling his eyes.  
“Your neck, you dummy,” Fred appeared from the sitting room.   
Oh, shit.   
“Remus!” Sirius turned to his boyfriend, glaring at him for leaving hickeys all over his neck.  
“It seemed like a good idea at the time!” Remus said guiltily.  
“It’s fine, just… okay, Fred, do a concealment charm or something on Sirius, okay?” Hermione asked.  
Fred smirked. “What do I get for it?”  
“I don’t know, knowing you’ve helped someone?” Ginny asked, exasperated.  
“Mmmm, nah. I want a book. From Sirius’ library.”  
Usually this would’ve been easy to say yes to, but there was some dark things in the Black library, and Sirius didn’t want to put Fred in danger.  
“What kind of book?” Sirius asked cautiously.  
“Don’t worry, it’s not evil. I just want to know how to hex large amounts of people at the same time.”  
Well, that seemed fairly harmless. “Okay, go for it. Now cover em up will you?”  
“With pleasure,” Fred eyes twinkled with mischief. He said a quiet incantation and Sirius felt warmth rush up his neck.   
“Gone?” He asked.“Gone.” Ginny nodded.  
Remus turned around, pulling Sirius with him. Just as they reached the threshold to the kitchen, they heard Fred hiss.   
“Shit!”  
Sirius whipped his head around. “What?!”  
“I did the charm wrong! The charm won’t last! You’ve-“  
“Sirius,” a different voice chimed in from the kitchen. “May I ask,” Molly continued, “What on EARTH is on your neck?”  
Oh, fuck. Sirius was going to kill Fred, Then Remus, and then himself.  
“Molly-“  
“I cannot believe this. Surely you’re not this irresponsible! When you’re angry, I understand, but leaving the house to have sex?!”  
Sirius tried not to, he really did, but he couldn’t help himself from bursting out laughing.  
This seemed to anger Molly further. “This is not funny!”“Oh, Molly, but it really is,” Sirius said, tears welling in his eyes from his hysterical laughter.  
“I can’t believe-“  
“Molly, I didn’t leave the house.”  
Sirius watched as Molly’s eyes widened and she seemed to do a lot of calculations in her head. Once she’d exhausted her mental possibilities of explanations, she simply there her hands up in the air and cried “Then WHAT is going on?!”  
Sirius took the few moments of Molly’s silence to evaluate who was actually in the room. It was full. Every chair was taken, full. Molly, Arthur, Dumbledore (who was smirking), Tonks, Dedalus, Sturgis, Emmeline and Hestia (also smirking), Moody (shaking his head), Harry, George and Ron (silently laughing in the corner) and Hermione, Fred and Ginny had guiltily slipped in after Sirius and Remus themselves. This was not the way that Sirius would’ve chosen to come out. Oh well. You win some, you lose some. Molly’s shrill voice snapped Sirius out of his thoughts.  
“Who on earth are you sleeping with?! It’s not Tonks, is it? You’re cousins! I mean, I won’t judge you, I just thought Tonks and Remus-“  
Sirius threw up in his mouth. “No, Molly. Not Tonks.”  
“Is it Emmeline? Or Hestia?”  
Sirius tried not too snort. The two girls were literally holding hands on the table. It couldn’t have been more obvious that they were together if they tried.  
“Well? Is it?”  
Sirius knew if he spoke, he would cackle, and upon looking over at Remus it was clear that if either of them spoke, they’d never stop laughing. Luckily, Dumbledore saved their arses. Maybe the man wasn’t that much of a prick.  
“Molly, I do hate to point it out at such an inopportune moment, but I’m quite sure that Emmeline and Hestia are, how do. You put it… taken.”  
Molly whipped around and stared at the girls. “By who?!”  
“Godric, Molly! Each other!” Moody cried.   
Molly turned white. “Oh.”  
Sirius watched Emmeline squeeze Hestia’s hand, just the way that Remus would squeeze his when he was nervous. “Yeah. Sorry Molly, we thought you knew. We weren’t trying to hide it or anything.”  
“No! No! No, girls, of course not, I don’t care, I just didn’t know. Just a bit of a shock, that’s all.”  
The women just smiled and nodded at Molly. Well, Sirius thought, at least now we know the woman isn’t homophobic.  
“Did anyone else know?” Molly asked the room. Everyone murmured that they did. Awkward, thought Sirius.  
“Well. That’s that. Now,” Molly swung around, “Sirius? If it isn’t them, and it’s clearly not me, whois it?!”  
Sirius leaned back against the door frame. It was now or never he supposed. “Molly, I’m gay.”  
“You’re WHAT?!”  
“Gay,” Sirius said nonchalantly. “Raging homosexual, actually. Just men for me. Only men. Always has been, really.”  
Sirius had never seen Molly so surprised in his entire life.   
She looked around the room frantically. “Why doesn’t anyone seem shocked?!”  
No one answered.  
“Why doesn’t anyone seem shocked?!” Molly called out.  
“Well, we knew,” Dumbledore said obviously.   
“You knew?!”  
Dumbledore nodded. “Yes. I knew.”  
“Well, of course you knew! You know everything!”  
“Molly, it’s not just him,” Moody chimed in, rocking on his chair.  
“And you?!”  
“Hate to say it Molly, but I’ve known since I met Sirius,” Dedalus added.  
“Me too,” Sturgis commented.  
“And I,” Kingsley agreed in his deep voice.  
“Did you know?!” Molly asked Hestia and Emmeline.  
“How do you think we figured out we were gay?”  
“I need to sit down,” Molly said. She sounded like she was going to faint. “Anyone else? Anyone else who knew?”  
Tonks meekly raised her hand. “My mum told me.”  
‘Course she did, thought Sirius. He was glad Andromeda told Tonks, really, or this would’ve been an awkward interaction all around.  
“Arthur?!”  
“Molly, I didn’t know, I just… suspected,” Arthur said, extremely nervously. “Is that offensive to say? Sorry, Sirus!”  
“No, Arthur, please! I’m honoured, really,” Sirius said in jest. Funny thing was, he actually meant it.  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Molly asked Sirius quietly, after a moment.  
“I just didn’t know how you would react.” Sirius said honestly.  
“I’m so sorry, Sirius. I’m sorry you felt like you needed to hide it.”  
Sirius smiled warmly. “It’s okay, Molly. It really is.”  
Molly smiled weakly in response, still looking incredibly guilty. Sirius noticed Remus had taken a seat, knowing that this was Sirius’ moment. The moment he’d never had with his family. He’d never gotten the chance to come out. Remus just beamed up at him with pure admiration that warmed Sirius’ heart.   
“When did you figure it out?” Molly asked, genuinely intrigued.  
“Probably about sixth year of school.”  
“When did you figure it out?” Molly asked Emmeline and Hestia.  
Emmeline shrugged. “Probably around the same time that Sirius and Remus got together.”  
It took her a moment to register what she had just said, and she slapped her hand across her mouth, moving it to mouth ‘I’m so sorry’ at Sirius, who just waved her off.  
It was far more amusing that Emmeline told them. Saved Sirius a lot of embarrassment, he figured.  
He heard a thud to his left, and realised that Molly had fainted.

—————————————————

It was a few minutes of absolute silence before Molly was sitting up again, ready to ask more questions.  
“So, you,” she pointed at Sirius, “and you,” she pointed at Remus, “are, like…”  
“Yes, Molly,” Remus said, standing up. He grabbed Sirius’ hand. “Yes, we are.”  
“How long?”  
“19 years, give or take. Sound right?” Remus answered, looking to Sirius for confirmation.  
“Yes, that sounds about right.” Sirius squeezed Remus’ hand.“But you were-“  
“In Azkaban, yes Molly, I was, but we never technically broke off our engagement, so-“  
“YOU’RE ENGAGED?!” Molly yelled.  
“Oh, we didn’t mention that part yet, did we,” Sirius mumbled to himself.  
“WHO KNEW ABOUT THIS?!”  
“Well, Dedalus, Sturgis, Emmeline, Hestia, Albus, Moody, and pretty much everyone from the first war were there when they got engaged. But we didn’t know they were together now, if that makes you feel any better,” Kingsley explained.  
“We knew. And we knew they were engaged. But no, they didn’t tell us. They’ve been wearing their rings since we started using this place as headquarters! It wasn’t hard to figure it out.” Hestia explained.   
“I knew they were together. So did Alastor, but, as Molly pointed out, I know everything,” Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eyes.  
“We knew!” Ginny called out. Remus put his head in his hands.  
“YOU TOLD THE CHILDREN BEFORE YOU TOLD US?!”  
“Firstly, your twins just happened to apparate into a room where we were kissing. Secondly, Ginny broke through silencing charm and heard us talking to Fred and George. Thirdly, I can tell Harry whatever I want, and he told Ron, and fifthly, Hermione figured it out all on her own.” Sirius finished.  
Molly sighed. “Yes, well. That sounds about right.”

A timid voice spoke up for the first time since Sirius and Remus had entered the room. “Is that why you wouldn’t go out with me?”  
Remus smiled. “Tonks, you’re lovely. And if I was straight, I’d love to go out with you. Unfortunately, I’m not attracted to women. I really like you though, and I hope we can still be friends.”  
Sirius cursed himself for ever thinking Remus would be anything less than loyal.   
Tonks smiled. “That sounds good, Rem.”

Everyone was silent for a while, and it was beginning to get awkward.  
To make it worse, Molly looked up at Sirius in horror. “Does that mean- Remus- Your neck- He- wit- he-“  
“I think she’s broken, lads. I’ll look after her. Kids, go with Sirius and Remus and leave us to gossip, will you?”  
“With pleasure,” Fred and George said in unison, and Sirius let himself be dragged into the sitting room by rapidly talking redheads, Hermione, and his amazing godson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE I went on a date with cute girl and I feel v good about myself :)
> 
> Also I'll have way more time to write soon! I'm on uni break in a week!
> 
> xoxo Gabby


	18. Remus: Hmmm.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, but I hope you enjoy it;.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, next chapter will be longer and up in the next 24 hours x

For all the fear that he’d dealt with about telling the Order about he and Sirius’ relationship, Remus thought that the entire interaction actually went quite smoothly. He didn’t, of course, know what the adults really thought of their arrangement. Emmeline and Hestia knew and were fine with it. Kingsley didn’t seem to care, he’d seen it once, after all. Moody and Dumbledore knew. Dedalus and Sturgis seemed overjoyed. So really, Remus was just nervous about Molly and Arthur’s reaction. And Tonks’. Actually, Arthur seemed fine, Molly seemed like she WOULD be fine, so really, it was just Tonks.  
Sirius was asleep on the right side of the bed. Remus was wide awake. He wondered why he suddenly cared so much about how Tonks felt about his relationship. He’d been dreading every time that he was alone with her, but he found himself unsettled at the thought of her accepting that she never had a chance. He thought that maybe this was about attention. Maybe he wanted, enjoyed even, the feeling of being wanted. But Sirius wanted him, he reminded himself, and that was enough. Shouldn’t that be enough?  
Tonks was young, and beautiful, and energetic… no, he cursed himself. You have the most beautiful man in the world lying next to you, and you’re marrying him, for god’s sake!  
Remus always thought that maybe his attraction to women never died out. Maybe he was attracted to both.   
It didn’t matter, he decided as he climbed under the covers. Whether he did, or didn’t, now was not the time to find out.

————————————

Remus woke up to Sirius peppering his face with kisses and felt his chest fill with a horrible feeling of guilt. He’d genuinely been thinking of someone else, less than twelve hours ago. He shook it off, deciding that whatever you think after midnight is complete nonsense and cannot be held against you. He didn’t know who he was justifying himself to, really. It was probably just himself.  
“Good morning beautiful,” Remus smiled up at Sirius. This felt right.  
“Morning!” Sirius said excitedly.  
Remus groaned. “How can you be this awake?”  
“I’ve been up for hours!” Sirius exclaimed, jumping up. “I did some stuff!”  
“What stuff?” Remus asked cautiously.  
“Um,” Sirius looked nervous. “The door said Sirius, but I changed it to Sirius and Remus. And I set up a permanent silencing charm.”  
Remus beamed. “Baby, that’s amazing.”  
“You sure?”  
“Of course I’m sure!”  
“I just didn’t want you to think I was showing you off or anything.”  
“Pads,” Remus said, sitting up, “I love when you show me off.”  
Sirius smiled weakly. “Okay. Well that’s good.”  
“Come here.”  
Sirius climbed into bed and settled on Remus’ chest. “Yeah?”  
Remus’ heart stopped. “Your eyes.”  
“My eyes?” Sirius asked, confused. Then something clicked. “Oh! I found my old eyeliner. I figure now they know I’m a flaming queer, I may as well take advantage of my old habits.”  
Remus was speechless. Sirius in eyeliner had always made his heart beat fast and his pants uncomfortably tight.  
“You okay there Moony?” Sirius smirked.   
Damn it! Sirius knew EXACTLY what he was doing. “You bastard!” Remus gasped. “You KNOW what that does to me,” he growled.  
“Yes,” Sirius said, grinding into Remus’ thigh. “I do. And it’s brilliant.”  
“Anyway,” Remus said, averting his eyes from Sirius’, “Harry leaves today. How are you feeling?”  
Sirius seemed to slump in Remus’ arms. “I’m really going to miss him.”  
“I know you are.” Remus stroked Sirius’ hair. “But he’ll be back, remember? He’ll be back before you know it.”  
“I’m scared I’ll lose him.”  
Remus sighed and titled Sirius’ chin towards his own. “He isn’t James, Pads. He’ll be okay.”  
“You’re right. He isn’t James. He’d in a million times more danger that any of us ever were, or will ever be. I can’t lose him too, Rem, I can’t-“  
“Hey, hey, come here,” Remus said, interrupting Sirius. “You’re spiralling. We’re all here to protect him. Everything will be okay. I promise.”  
“You can’t promise that.”  
Remus smiled. “Just did.”

“Oi!” A cry came from the room opposite them. “Love birds! Time to face the fucking music!”  
“GEORGE!” Molly chastised.  
“Let’s go!” Fred added.  
Remus smiled at Sirius. Time to face the fucking music alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey,  
> I'm so sorry for being such a shitty author. I've been going through some rough stuff the past week, but I figured uploading what I've done is better than uploading nothing at all. Longer chapters tomorrow, I swear.  
> Thanks for being patient with me.  
> Gabby x


	19. Sirius: The Calm Before The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a story that you've heard before, but it is in preparation for the chapter that will be posted tomorrow.
> 
> See notes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to include themes around sexuality and homophobia. It will NOT be violent or hateful, it will just demonstrate what it's like to come out to people who just don't understand. If you are triggered by homophobia, I expect that reading the next chapter will be somewhat comforting, as it does end well. If you don't want to take that chance, then feel free to skip it.

Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand after they dressed and opened the door to face a grinning Fred and George.  
“What are you two so giddy about?” Remus asked, already knowing the answer.  
“This is going to be hilarious,” Fred smirked.  
“Why do you say that?” Sirius asked, genuinely interested.  
“Well, let’s just say that we’ve been down there already, and we were instructed to ’subtly hurry you along’. Everyone’s already eaten and they’re in the sitting room. All sitting on one side. Harry, Ginny, Hermione and Ron are sitting on the sides of the couch where you were interrogated after running away, so you’ll both be centre stage. Absolutely brilliant,” George chuckled.  
“Oh no,” Remus sighed, leaning against the wall. “Are they mad?”  
“Mad?” Fred and George repeated in unison. “I wouldn’t say mad,” George continued. “Just…”  
“Intrigued,” finished Fred.  
“Fred! George!” Arthur yelled from downstairs.  
“And that’s our cue. And yours, also. Don’t worry. We’ll be with Harry and them. Egging you on. Best to focus some of mum’s emotions on anyone other than you two.”  
“Fucking hell,” Sirius muttered. This was NOT going to be fun. 

As they walked down the stairs, Sirius realised just how sick he was of explaining he and Remus’ relationship. They’d done it so many times. It was then that he decided that this time they’d make it quick.  
As they approached the sitting room, Sirius instinctively let go of Remus’ hand, only for Remus to grab it again and smile reassuringly at him. It was going to be okay, he resolved. And if it wasn’t, it would be eventually. And that’s all that mattered.

Sirius wasn’t sure what he expected when he walked into the room, but he was sure he hadn’t expected this. It seemed that the entire bloody Order had showed up for this ’show’. Remus squeezed his hand as they took the only two empty seats, the ‘hot seats’, Sirius dubbed them, as he looked out at all the people facing him.  
There were a lot of them.  
There was Molly and Arthur, naturally, and the kids, who looked just as nervous and Sirius was sure he looked himself. They smiled at him and Remus, and Sirius smiled back. At least they were on he and Remus’ side.  
Then again, were there really ‘sides’? Maybe. Sirius guessed they were about to find out.  
So there was Molly and Arthur, and the kids. Moody and Dumbledore were there, and Emmeline and Hestia. Sirius had expected them, especially the girls. They were there undoubtedly for ‘moral support’. Tonks was perched on the arm of a large armchair that Sirius didn’t recognise. That’s where he’d expected the list to end. Those were the people who came for breakfast, after all. But apparently the news of yesterday had made somewhat of an impression on the group, because Dedalus, Sturgis and Kingsley were squished onto a couch. Alright, Sirius thought, they were there yesterday, it makes sense for them to be here now. But then there were Bill and Fleur, and Elphias Doge, a man Sirius had only met a handful of times. Sirius wasn’t comfortable with him being here, then again, he wasn’t comfortable with this entire situation, or with any of them being there, but in a sense, this would be a good distraction. At least now no-one could say, or even imply, that Sirius was useless. He had this as a defence. He glanced down and saw Remus’ hand, still holding his, and he smiled to himself. He wasn’t alone up here. They weren’t staring at him, they were staring at THEM, and somehow, that was far better. Maybe it was nice to have good attention focused on him, and if one didn’t go so far to say it was GOOD attention, they could at least say that it wasn’t bad. 

Remus opened his mouth to say something, but before any noise escaped him the front door slammed and Walburga began screaming from the wall directly behind him. Sirius instinctively covered his ears, just as he had when he was a child. He was almost embarrassed, and probably would’ve been, if Moody, or Dumbledore, (it was one of them at least) hadn’t silenced the portrait immediately. Loud footsteps entered the room, footsteps that could only belong to one man.  
“Sorry! Sorry I’m late, had a bit a trouble, London and all, just-“  
“Rubeus, welcome,” Dumbledore said softly, interrupting the large man. “Here, I’ll summon a chair. You must be tired from the commute.”  
“Tired? Sure am. Was a long journey, y’know, I just-“ an armchair slid underneath Hagrid, swiftly knocking him off his feet, and effectively interrupting his sentence. “Sorry. Talk later, Albus?” Dumbledore nodded. “Good man,” Hagrid smiled.  
“Well.” Molly spoke first, Hagrid’s entrance being a welcome invitation to start talking. Sirius felt Remus squeeze his hand tighter. “It seems that there’s been some news that we should discuss.”  
“It’s not news, Molly,” Moody sighed.  
Molly glared at him. “So. I have a few questions, and I’m sure that most of you do as well.”  
Emmeline opened her mouth, probably to say ‘Actually, we don’t’ but Hestia shushed her before she could do any damage.  
Everyone remained quiet.  
“Shall I start, then?” Molly asked, although they all knew that it wasn’t a question. “I’d like to say something first.” Sirius was taken by surprise when Remus let go of his hand: the voice had come from Remus.  
“Please,” Dumbledore urged Remus to continue.  
“Sirius sand I will not be answering any questions that we are not comfortable answering. We could leave this room right now, but we are staying out of respect for all of you. We are respecting you, and in turn, I hope that you will respect us. If we do not want to answer a question, please do not press us. That’s all.” Remus grabbed Sirius’ hand again.  
“Thank you,” Sirius whispered. He hoped that Remus understood that that ‘thank you’ meant ‘thank you for saying what I needed ti say before I even realised that I needed to say it’.  
Molly spluttered.  
“Completely fair,” Dumbledore smiled. “We will, of course, respect your wished. Agreed?” Everyone nodded and murmured their agreement, which satisfied Sirius enough for him to open up.  
“Molly, I think you can start,” Arthur said quietly to his wife.  
She nodded, and composed herself enough to begin. “When did you get together? Romantically?”  
Sirius could tell how hard she was trying to understand their relationship. He admittedly respected her for that.  
“Sixth year,” Remus answered.  
“Were you together through the first war?”  
“Yes,” Sirius replied.  
“Were you together while Sirius was in Azkaban?”“Didn’t you ask all of these questions yesterday?” Harry interrupted.“Well, I think I wasn’t really focused yesterday, and I don’t remember what they said-“  
“Mrs Weasley, you asked them all of these questions yesterday and then invited nineteen people to watch you ask them again. Doesn’t this seem slightly excessive?”  
Sirius spoke in his head, he spoke to James, and hoped that he could hear him.  
‘Your son, my friend,’ Sirius thought, ‘is the most loyal, brilliant boy I’ve ever met. He is the most perfect combination of you and Lily. I am so lucky to know him. Thank you for bringing him into this world. I’m sorry you aren’t here to love him as much as I do’.  
Sirius then took a deep breath. “Harry, it’s okay, it really is.”  
Harry stood up, but not in anger. More in an attempt to command the room. He was succeeding. “It’s not, Sirius. You and Professor Lupin don’t think that it’s okay either. You’re doing it because you’re good people, and-“  
“Harry,” Sirius said calmly. “Isn’t that a good enough reason?”  
“Because you’re good people?”  
“We’d like to think so, yes,” Remus chimed in.  
Harry seemed to calculate what to say in his head. Finally, he settled on “I guess it is. I still don’t think it’s right. Sorry, Mrs Weasley,” Harry finished, in a Lily Evans-like fashion, and sat back down. Ginny quickly placed her hand over his, before withdrawing it very quickly. That made Sirius smile.  
“It’s okay, Harry. I didn’t see it that way. I’m just so confused, and-“  
“Molly,” Sirius began, “It’s okay. Continue. But Remus and I won’t answer something if we’re uncomfortable.”  
Molly nodded and swallowed obviously. “Were you together while Sirius was… away?”Sirius respected that she didn’t mention Azkaban, so he answered the question. “Well, we never broke up, so… I guess we were?”  
“We were,” Remus confirmed, smiling at Sirius.  
“So when did you get back together? You saw each other when Peter…” she trailed off, before picking up at “And then you saw each other after the tournament? But then Sirius was away before you got here, so when did you…” she trailed off again, and Sirius could almost see the cogs turning in her brain.  
“We saw each other in the shack, and I remembered how much I loved him,” Remus answered, smiling at Sirius. Sirius felt his heart will up with warmth.  
“We corresponded through letters until I saw Remus at the tournament,” Sirius continued.  
“And then Dumbledore instructed Sirius to come and stay with me.” Remus finished.  
“We moved in here after Dumbledore told us that he needed a headquarters. I hate this house and everything about it, but it may as well be put to good use. It would just be rotting here forever otherwise.”  
Molly nodded. She took a moment, before she nervously asked “So are you both… attracted to men?”  
“Only men, for me,” Sirius responded. He had a sneaking suspicion that Remus was attracted to both, and only said that he was gay to save Tonks’ feelings, but it was best to be honest at a time like this.  
“I’m bisexual,” Remus said. Molly looked confused, so he added “I like men and women. Both.”  
Molly’s jaw dropped. “Equally?”  
Remus shook his head. “I like men more. Think about it like… seventy percent men, thirty percent women.”  
Sirius detested the look on his cousin’s face. He had half a mind to hex her, then and there.  
Molly still looked perplexed. “Well that doesn’t seem fair!”  
Remus chuckled. “Luck of the draw Molly, luck of the draw.”  
“Is there anything else that you would like to ask?” Sirius said to Molly. “That anyone would like to ask?” Sirius looked around the room.  
“Yes, actually,” Emmeline spoke up. “Did you get engaged again straight away after you moved in with Remus?”  
Sirius smiled and looked down at his engagement ring. “Yes, actually. It was the first night, or something like that. I took off my ring to do the dishes the day I was arrested-“  
“Bull!” Fred cried. “You did NOT do the dishes the muggle way!”  
“I know,” Sirius said wearily. “And look where it got me! Left my ring and everything!”  
Fred chuckled.  
“I know that Remus proposed the first time,” Hestia started, “but who proposed this time?”  
“Me,” Remus and Sirius said in unison. “It was me!” They both repeated.  
“Okay, fine. It was more of a…”  
“Joint decision,” Sirius finished for Remus.  
“Have you slept together?” Molly asked quickly.The entire room was silent. Sirius could tell that Remus wanted to say that they were NOT answering that, and Sirius himself was spluttering.

Then, Fleur broke the silence.  
“I’m bisexual.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi babes,  
> I'm feeling weird today but I'm enjoying writing. I changed my meds so my sleep schedule is fucked. I live in Sydney, Australia, so the posting times will be weird for most of you!
> 
> The next chapter means a lot to me, and I really hope you'll read itt.
> 
> Gabs xxx


	20. Remus: Homophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Homophobia  
> NOTES:  
> I think that if you are sensitive to homophobia then you'll find this chapter really comforting. HOWEVER, if you are really worried, feel free to skip it.
> 
> For me, Molly represented my parents when I came out, and in this chapter, everyone else backs the characters that come out up.  
> This is a personal chapter for me and includes a lot of stereotypes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to make it clear that in NO WAY do I endorse homophobia or any of Molly's reactions. Her character WILL be redeemed. Unfortunately, Molly's reaction is the reaction that many people have when family members/people around them come out.  
> I hope you find as much comfort in this chapter as I do. The next one will be redeeming I promise.

Then, Fleur broke the silence.  
“I’m bisexual.”  
Oh boy, thought Remus, you don’t have to be observant at ALL to know that this was bad.  
Secretly, he was proud, so, so proud, that Fleur had found the courage to come out. And he knew that it was because of he and Sirius that she had decided to do it.  
Molly whipped her head around. “YOU’RE WHAT?”  
“Bisexual. Like Remus.” Fleur said plainly.  
“You- you- can’t be! BILL?!” Molly cried.  
“Yes, mum?” Bill said calmly. Clearly this wasn’t new information to him.  
“You knew about this?!” Molly almost shouted.  
“Since the day we first kissed.” Bill sipped his tea.  
“I can’t believe this! A QUEER! With my SON!”  
“MUM!” Ginny, Ron, Fred and George all screamed at the top of their lungs.  
“I knew it! I knew that there was a reason that something about you didn’t sit right! I knew-“  
“Molly,” Arthur said sternly. “Stop it. Right now.”  
Remus noticed that Fleur was shaking, so he walked over and pulled her into a hug. They didn’t know each other very well, but Remus’ father had had the same reaction when Remus had come out to his parents. Fleur started sobbing into Remus’ shirt. Remus looked over to Bill for help, but found that Bill had abandoned his armchair and vanished his tea, and was currently engaged in a yelling match with his mother.  
“Mother, you cannot speak to my fiancee that way!” Bill began.  
“She’s QUEER, Bill!”  
“I KNOW!”  
“And you didn’t TELL US!”  
“Because I knew you would react like this!”  
Molly started to walk towards Bill, shaking her finger, when Arthur held her back.  
“Arthur, you can’t honestly be okay with-“  
“Molly, it doesn’t matter what we’re okay with! This is Bill’s choice! And Fleur hasn’t done anything wrong!”  
“She’s ILL, Arthur! She’s ILL!”  
Remus saw Sirius stand up and approach Molly.  
“She’s ill, is she, Molly?” Sirius said. Remus knew that tone. Sirius had reached the point of anger where he sounded nothing short of calm.  
Molly looked increasingly flustered. “Sirius, this isn’t about you or Remus, it’s about my family, MY-“  
“Are you okay with me being gay?” Sirius asked.  
No response.  
“Are you okay with Remus being bisexual?”  
Complete silence.

Molly’s eyes flickered to Remus, perhaps hoping that he’d chime in in defence of her. Fleur was still clinging to Remus’ jumper, and he was hardly in a moral position to defend Molly.  
“He asked a question, Molly.” Mad-eye chimed in, not moving from his chair.  
“I think you’re both confused, that’s all,” Molly said quietly.  
“Confused?” Sirius repeated, calm as ever.“You were probably just experimenting in sixth year, and then the first war happened, so you must have just attached to each other, and then Azkaban, and then you were thrown back with each other. I think you’re both just confused.”  
Remus deposited Fleur on a chair next to Tonks, who wrapped her in a hug.  
“Molly,” Remus began, “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”  
“Remus, I don’t mean to be rude, but don’t you think that you might just be attracted to women, just like men are-“  
“Not all men,” Sirius huffed.  
“And maybe it’s just because Sirius made a move on you that you felt like you should like him too?”  
Remus audibly gasped in disbelief. “You’re kidding, right?”  
Molly ignored him and swiftly turned towards Sirius. “And Sirius, don’t you think that you just haven’t found the right woman yet? And how do you know you’re… gay, if you haven’t at least…”  
“Slept with a woman?” Sirius finished her sentence. She nodded her head. “Well, Molly, I have slept with a women. Several, in fact. I’ve had raving reviews, actually, yet STILL, I find myself only attracted to men. Exclusively,” Sirius punctuated.  
“Just because you’re attracted to Remus doesn’t mean Remus needs to be attracted to you!” Molly finally cried.  
That was enough to tip Remus over the edge.  
“I started this, Molly. I’m the one who came out as gay in sixth year. I didn’t even realise I was bisexual until Sirius was in Azkaban! I’m the one who told Sirius I liked him, I started this. So don’t act like he ‘turned’ me, or whatever you’re implying, because he didn’t. I’ve known I’ve liked men since I was thirteen Molly-“  
“And I didn’t know until I kissed Remus, but I always knew something was off with women. I was with them because I had to be, or because I thought I had to be, but I never looked over at a woman and thought ‘damn, she’s fit’, but I’ve looked at men and thought that many, many times. Usually about Remus,” Sirius smirked. There we go, Remus thought, there’s the Sirius I love.  
“This isn’t about you. You’re both old enough to make up your own minds, even though you KNOW you’re making a mistake, every day. This,” Molly swung around to face Fleur, “Is about YOU.”  
“Mrs Weasley, please don’t-“  
“With all due respect Hermione,” Molly looked straight through the younger girl, “This is none of your business.”  
“It’s none of yours, either!” Bill yelled. “She is my fiancee, and I love her! She loves me! What on earth is the problem?!”“She’s crazy, Bill! She likes men and women because she’s greedy! She wants them all to herself!”  
“I DON’T!” Fleur shouted. “I want Bill! I don’t care about anyone else! I love him! Whether or not I have the ability to love women or not has nothing to do with whether I love your son.”  
“Then why can’t you just say that you’re only attracted to men! You’re marrying one!”  
“Because she shouldn’t have to hide who she is!” Tonks jumped up, surprising everyone in the room, including Remus. Definitely Remus.  
“Tonks, dear, you should stay out of this, you’re better than-“  
“I’m better than this?” Tonks said quietly. “Aren’t YOU better than this, Molly? Aren’t you better than attacking someone because they’re attracted to the same sex?”  
“I don’t want someone like her in my family. That’s my decision to make.” Molly’s certainty made Remus feel uneasy.  
“Then who DO you want in your family, Molly?” Bill asked, shocking the room.  
“You do NOT call me Molly, William! I am your mother-“  
“And I’ve never been more ashamed of that. If you don’t want Fleur, then who DOES fit your standards, mother? Who is acceptable for you?” Bill’s voice was thick with sarcasm.  
“Someone like- like-“ Molly scanned the room, before settling on Tonks. “Tonks! Someone like Tonks!”  
“I thought you thought I would make a lovely couple with Remus?” Tonks added. She almost sounded confused.  
“Of course you would-“  
“Wait.” Remus said sternly. This was the perfect opportunity. He must remember to thank Tonks later. “Yes, Remus?” Arthur sighed. He looked tired. Arthur was the one who would have to deal with the fallout from this, after all.  
“You are aware, Molly, that I’m a werewolf?”  
Molly looked flustered. “Yes, of course, what does that have to do with anything?”  
“You’d be okay with Tonks, someone you consider a second daughter, marrying a werewolf?”  
“Being a werewolf doesn’t change who you are, Remus,” Molly answered, glaring at Sirius for some reason.  
“Neither,” Remus began, “does being queer.”  
The entire room fell into silence.

It was a minute before anyone spoke again.  
“Bill, I forbid you from marrying Fleur.”  
“Mum, you can’t do that!” Ginny coming to Fleur’s defence? This really was a last resort.  
“Oh can’t I?!” Molly yelled, pulling out her wand.  
“Expelliarmus!” Sirius cried. “Wouldn’t want you to make any mistakes now, would we Molly?” He finished as he caught her wand.  
Remus had to admit that Molly looked like a petulant child in the midst of a tantrum.  
“Mum, I’m sorry, but you can’t forbid that. I love her. I love her more than anything in the world. There is nothing, NOTHING, that could change how I feel about her. Not being bisexual, not anything.”  
Remus had never admired Bill more than he did in that moment.  
“You would chose her, over your own mother?!”  
Bill grabbed a sobbing Fleur’s hand and helped her up. “That’s manipulative, mother. You’re better than that.”  
“You’re better than her!”  
“That’s where you’re wrong!” Bill said, holding onto Fleur’s hand. “I am not good enough for her. This woman right here? She’s beautiful, she is kind, she is empathetic, and she is accepting. I am marrying her so that I can work every day to be good enough for her. I love her. There’s nothing that you can do about it.”  
“She’s-“  
“We,” Bill glanced down at he and Fleur’s hands, “are going upstairs. Sirius, Remus, may we-“  
“Go for it,” Sirius waved them off, waving his own wand to unlock the door to he and Remus’ room.  
Bill helped Fleur up the stairs and the room was left in silence.

It was another minute before anyone spoke again.  
“I think we all need a break,” Emmeline said, grabbing a weeping Hestia’s hand.  
Molly looked enraged. “DON’T get me started on-“  
“You two should go,” Remus mouthed at Emmeline and Hestia, who nodded, and hastily grabbed their bags to get out of the building.  
“Fine! Go!” Molly cried. She took a seat and wiped her eyes. Remus didn’t even realise that she’d been crying. “Did Bill and Fleur-“  
“Go upstairs?” Sirius finished. “Yes. They did.”  
“We should check on them,” Ginny said to Hermione. “They’re in your room, right Remus?”  
Remus nodded. “You know where it is.”  
Ginny and Hermione scurried out of the room before they could be stopped and a look of dawning realisation overcame Molly’s face.  
“You two,” she pointed at Sirius and Remus, “you’re engaged.”  
Remus nodded and grabbed Sirius’ hand. “Very much so.”  
“Are you sleeping together?”  
Remus turned red, but Sirius remained composed enough to say “Well, we share a room and go to bed at the same time, and we look reasonably well rested every morning, I’d like to hope, so yes, we do partake in sleeping, together.”  
Remus swore he saw Dumbledore stifle a laugh.  
“You know what I mean,” Molly snapped.  
Remus knew that Molly would never say the words she was implying, so he used this to their advantage. “Molly, I genuinely don’t. Sirius answered the question.”  
“Arthur?” Arthur was nowhere to be seen. “Alastor? Albus?!” Molly was becoming increasingly frustrated.  
“I don’t know what you’re implying, Molly. If you’re this invested, you should just ask,” Dumbledore said calmly, and, somehow, respectfully.  
“Kids?!” Harry, Ron, Fred and George raised their hands in surrender.  
If Molly was turning to the children, this was bad.  
“Molly, don’t bring the children into this.”  
“Thanks, Professor Lupin,” Fred smiled.  
“FRED!” Molly yelled.  
“What?! This is incredibly uncomfortable!” George added.  
“Not you too! Be quiet, all of you!”  
“Can we go? Please?” Ron begged. Remus noticed that his entire body was somehow blushing.  
“Where?” Molly asked. “Where could you possibly go?”  
“We’ll go check on the girls,” Harry answered, as if the girls, who were checking on Bill and Fleur, themselves needed checking on.  
“You will not enter that room.”  
“Huh?” The twins said in unison.  
“You know what? Fine. I’ll do this your way. Are you two having sex?” Molly said boldly, staring down Remus and Sirius.  
Remus tried his best not to splutter and Sirius remained composed, answering “That’s really none of your business, Molly.”  
“I was my business when I found out that your sexual escapades inspired my son’s fiancee to come out as queer! So, yes it is!”  
“Molly, Remus was very clear that he nor Sirius would be answering anything that they weren’t comfortable with,” Moody recounted.  
“Are you or not?!”  
“ENOUGH!”

The glass cabinets shook and the stairs creaked as Dumbledore stood up and finally spoke. Spoke? Boomed, more like.  
“That,” Dumbledore said, softly this time, “is quite enough.”  
“Albus.” Molly tried to remain confident, but she was visibly shaken. “I think I deserve to know if the house I am living in is being defiled by queer sex. I deserve that.”  
Dumbledore began pacing the length of the siting room. “This is Sirius’ house, Molly, if you need to be reminded. He can do with it as he chooses, whether that is to put it to use as a headquarters for an organisation that is quite literally saving wizard kind by day, or whether he chooses to defile it with his bisexual fiancee by night. I don’t see how the latter affects you in the slightest.”  
Molly looked enraged. “You, of all people, cannot be okay with queer people,” she addressed Dumbledore.  
“I think you’ll find that I’m very okay with queer people, Molly,” Dumbledore said, winking at Remus.  
Remus reflected on the conversation that they had in the safe house, back when Harry was six months old. It was then that he found out that Dumbledore was gay, and it was then that he knew Dumbledore would always be on their side. {MERLIN THESE BOYS ARE IDIOTS: FIRST WAR REMIX - REFERENCE}  
“They don’t understand the way we do things!” Molly attempted to justify.  
“We understand quite well, I can assure you.”  
“They don’t…” Molly trailed off, before a look of horror spread across her face. “We?”  
Dumbledore nodded. “Yes. We.”  
“Huh,” Moody said, opening his flask. “McGonagall owes me twenty galleons.”  
“Twenty?” Dumbledore said to Moody.  
“The amount went up over the years, you see. Can buy myself a new flask with that, sure can,” Moody said, taking a swig.  
“You’re…”  
Molly seemed to still be putting this together in her head.  
“Gay, yes. Queer, attracted to exclusively men, however you want to put it. I’ve been told that you quite admire me. I don’t see why knowing my sexual preference-“  
The kids audibly shuddered.  
“Sorry, children. This must be vastly unpleasant. I will ask that you keep what you have heard today to yourselves? Assuming that you will tell Miss Weasley and Miss Granger, of course?”  
Ron, Fred, George and Harry nodded.  
“Very well. You run along now. I think Molly is just…”  
Arthur reentered the room. “Resetting.”  
The only ones left in the room were Hagrid, Tonks, Dumbledore, Madeye, Sirius, Remus, Molly and Arthur. Elphias had disappeared somewhere in the midst of the yelling.  
Molly seemed to have gone into a genuine state of shock.  
“Molly?” Arthur said, waving his hand in front of her face.  
“Okay,” she seemed to snap back into reality. “Need to stop wedding, move headquarters, no more Dumbledore-“  
“Molly, stop-“  
“Then-“  
“STOP,” Remus shouted.  
Molly got up and stood facing Remus. “What do you possibly have to say?”  
“Your brothers,” Remus took a deep breath, “Would be ashamed of you.”

Molly grabbed her wand and slammed the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovlies,  
> That was kind of hard to write, so let me know how you liked it!


	21. Sirius: Hiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They all hide, basically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bittttt of a filler chapter, but I'm making the most of the kids before they go back to Hogwarts. Molly will be redeemed, I promise you!

“What exactly do we do?” Sirius asked, sitting cross-legged on the floor of a rarely-used sitting room on the second floor of Grimmauld Place.  
“What exactly do you mean?” Remus asked.  
“I think he means how do we face my mum after that… explosion,” Fred clarified, twirling his wand.  
“I’m a fan of just never leaving this room again,” Harry said wearily.  
“Harry! You can’t say that!” Argued Hermione.  
“It’s going to be so awkward,” Ron groaned.  
“I’m really hungry,” Tonks said from her spot leaning against the wall.  
“I’m starving,” Ginny added, staring at the ceiling as she lay back against a pillow.  
“And this room is really, really creepy,” George said quietly, staring at the portraits on the walls.  
George definitely had a point, thought Sirius. The portraits of Black ancestors seemed to follow Sirius with their eyes when he moved around the room. The worst part was knowing that they could hear the conversation, yet the paintings were remaining quiet.  
“Can we go back to your room? The bed’s big enough for all of us to lie on!” Ginny exclaimed.  
“Bill and Fleur are in there, remember?” Tonks recounted. “And I don’t have the heart to interrupt them.”  
“None of us do,” Hermione sighed.  
They were all seated in various parts of the old room. All of the furniture was too dusty to sit on, so Sirius and Remus were sitting cross legged in the middle the room, opposite Harry and Ron. Hermione was leaning against the wall next to the fireplace, flipping through a muggle psychology textbook that she’d borrowed from Dumbledore. Tonks was leaned against the wall behind the door, half asleep, and Ginny was lying on the wooden floor with nothing but a pillow for comfort. The twins were crosslegged on the opposite side of the room twirling their wands. This really was the epitome of boredom.   
They were downstairs, at first. Almost everyone had exited he house quite hastily after Molly had left, leaving Dumbledore, Moody and Arthur in the kitchen. The group that were currently residing in the creepy room upstairs had occupied the sitting room, talking about mundane topics and expertly avoiding mentioning any part of the situation that had just taken place.  
Then, Molly had come home and headed straight for the sitting room.   
“Quick! Kitchen!” Fred had whispered, and they all bolted to the kitchen (including Sirius and Remus, running like children) before Molly could spot them. Then, Molly seemingly decided that she was hungry, and made for the kitchen. They all grabbed onto Sirius’ arms and apparated to the top of the stairs.   
“I’m so bloody tired. I need to sit,” Sirius had proclaimed. After much discussion, they’d discovered that every bedroom except Sirius’ own was too small for all of them, and they all found a certain amount of comfort in being together. Sirius knew that the kids didn’t want to leave Sirius and Remus alone. He wasn’t sure that they wanted to be left alone either.   
So, Sirius had opened the door to a scarcely used room and they had resided there for god knows how long. All Sirius knew was that it was now dark outside and they’d entered the room at two.  
A loud gurgle came from opposite Sirius. “Ronald, you’re feral,” Hermione commented, not looking up from her book.  
“I’m bloody starving,” Ron growled.  
“Actually, I’m really hungry too,” Remus admitted.  
“We all are, Professor Lupin, don’t feel too special,” Ginny said sarcastically, before clapping her hand over her mouth. “I’m so sorry! I’m just-“  
“It’s been a long day, Ginny, I understand,” Remus said with a smile.   
Unfortunately, it was also getting cold. “I hate to say it, but I’m freezing,” Fred chimed in, interrupting his whispered conversation with George.  
“We both are,” George confirmed.  
“So, shall we revisit my earlier question?” Sirius asked the room. They all looked at him quizzically. “What do we do?” He reiterated.   
“Well Molly’s most recent interaction with us two involved her imagining us in bed, so I think it’s best that we don’t face her first,” Remus pointed out.  
Sirius nodded. “Yep. Very much agreed.” He scanned the room, looking for the least objectionable (in Molly’s eyes) icebreaker, before he settled on a half asleep witch. “Tonks!”  
“Whassgoingon?” She mumbled.  
“You’re going to go downstairs and get us some food,” Sirius said plainly.  
“I don’t want to!”  
“I don’t want to live in Grimmauld Place again, but here we are!” Time to milk that one, Sirius decided.  
Tonks frowned. “That’s not fair.”  
“How isn’t that fair?”  
“I can’t say no to that!”  
Sirius smirked. “That’s the idea.”  
“Why can’t one of Molly’s own children go?”  
“That’s a horrible idea,” Ginny said, still staring at the ceiling. “She’ll try and get us on her ‘side’. It will be terribly awkward for everyone.”  
“Hermione? Harry?”  
“Yeah, no,” Harry began.  
“Why?” Tonks asked.  
“Because we’re relying on Molly to survive! Literally! She is our source of food, water and transportation! We do NOT need to disagree with her!” Hermione explained.  
Tonks rolled her eyes. “So that leaves me.”  
“Pretty much,” Sirius smiled cheerily.  
“Fine,” she huffed as she hauled herself up. “You all owe me.”  
“Thanks Tonksy-dearest,” Sirius chorused.  
She glared daggers at him as she shut the door behind her.  
“Do you think we can interrupt Bill and Fleur yet?” Ron asked.  
“Ronald! Don’t be so insensitive!” Hermione exclaimed.  
“Insensitive?! They’ve been in there for…” Ron tried to do the calculations in his head before he settled on “a long time!”  
“She’s been shunned by her mother in law, Ron,” Ginny said obviously.   
“Dumbledore’s dealing with her right now!”“He’s Dumbledore,” the twins chorused.  
“Urghhhhh,” Ron and Harry groaned.  
Sirius never thought that he’d have to hide in his own house again. At least this time he wasn’t hiding alone, he thought. He had Remus, he reminded himself, shifting to lie in his fiancé’s lap.  
Remus was absentmindedly stroking his hair, and Sirius thought he could easily drift off right there, when the door violently swung open.  
“Fuck!” Harry jumped.  
Tonks stood in the threshold looking guilty. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to push that hard.”  
“You never mean to push that hard,” muttered Sirius under his breath, feeling very disdainful towards his cousin, who’d been making eyes at Remus ever since he’d revealed that he was bisexual.  
He was feeling disdainful, UNTIL he saw Tonks holding a large platter of roast vegetables and a leg of baked lamb.  
“Oh thank GOD,” Ron moaned, salivating at the sight of the food. “How’d you manage this?” Sirius asked genuinely.  
“It was NOT easy. It involved an incredibly uncomfortable conversation about gay sex with Molly and Albus.”  
Ron and Harry both groaned. “Disgusting,” Ginny muttered.

They all tucked into the roast, eating with their hands.  
“This is like being with the pack,” Remus sighed.  
“They don’t have cutlery?!” Hermione exclaimed, outraged.  
“Oh no, they most definitely do, the children just dominate the pack and no one really taught them manners. Parents abandoning them and all.”  
The room was silent for a moment.  
“Well that got uncomfortably dark,” Ginny observed. “Topic change! Has anyone realised we go back to Hogwarts the day after tomorrow? Like, we need to get our things from Diagon Alley! And pack!”  
“You sound like ‘Mione,” Ron muttered with his mouth full.“Firstly Ronald, close your mouth when you’re eating. Secondly, Ginny has a point. Something tells me Mrs Weasley has forgotten about our textbooks.” Hermione said, having returned to flipping through the psychology book.  
“Why are you reading that?” Sirius asked.  
Hermione answered without even looking up. “Trying to understand Molly’s point of view.”  
She really was a good kid.  
“Look, I’ll take you all to Diagon Alley tomorrow if we can get the key to your mum’s vault. I know all the good second hand places, don’t worry,” Remus added, before any of the children could awkwardly add that they were essentially poor.  
“Thank you, Professor,” Fred said. “Genuinely,” he added.  
Remus gave him a smile. “Of course. Now, we all need to figure out somewhere to sleep.”  
“Uh, it seems like Ginny and Tonks are good right here,” Harry said quietly. Sirius looked over to see Tonks propped up against a pillow and Ginny still lying on the floor, both dead asleep.  
“Well,” Sirius began, “that certainly makes this easier. Fred, George, you’ll manage to get to your room. Harry, Ron, sneak past really quietly. Hermione…” Sirius trailed off. Where would Hermione go? They’d all heard Molly return to her room and Hermione would have to walk straight past.  
“You know what? I’ll go talk to Bill and Fleur. I’m young, they like me. And I’ll tell them how terribly tired I am!”  
“Blackmail!” Sirius whispered.  
“Blasphemy!” Ron added.  
“Ronald, do you know what blasphemy means?”  
“It sounds cool!”  
“It makes no sense!”  
“Hermione, you suck.”

————————————————————

Sirius woke up in Remus’ arms. The night before Hermione had talked Bill and Fleur off a metaphorical edge and managed to get them out of the house unnoticed before sneaking back to her own room. Sirius thought that, today, they might all-  
Nope. They had to go to Diagon Alley today. He would kill to come, but the whole accused mass murderer thing was getting in the way. As it often did.  
Sirius noticed the sun was high in the sky, and the kids were probably all up by now. He shook Remus awake.“Moony,” Sirius whispered. Remus groaned. “You gotta take the kids to get their school stuff, remember?”  
Remus snapped awake, as he always did at the mention of responsibility. “I’ll get ready.”  
As Remus walked into the bathroom, Sirius smiled. “I’m sure you will.”  
Then Sirius decided to be an Adult, a real, proper Adult, and go and get the key for the Weasley vault. Preferably from Arthur. Molly was still to be avoided at all costs in Sirius’ eyes.  
Sirius crept down the stairs and peeked into the kitchen. Just Arthur, reading the Prophet. Score.  
“Morning, Arthur,” Sirius said warily. He wasn’t sure where the father stood on the whole matter.  
“Oh!” Arthur looked up from his tea. “Good morning Sirius. How have you been?”  
“Oh, you know,” Sirius said. He wondered if this was a genuine question, or the same kind of question that book clerks at Flourish and Blotts ask while they’re placing textbooks in paper bags.  
“I mean it, Sirius.”  
Right. Genuine, then.  
“Not fantastic,” Sirius answered honestly. “Being told it’s wrong to be who you already struggle to accept you are is never easy.”  
Arthur sighed, putting down the Prophet. “I’m not going to apologise on behalf of my wife, but I don’t agree with her stance. None of this is any of our business to have a stance on, anyway. I just hope Bill and Fleur are okay. They haven’t answered my owls.”  
Sirius sat down. “I don’t think you should be waiting on a response.”  
Arthur propped his head up on his hand. “I suppose you’re right. You all did a stellar job of staying out of the firing zone last night. Apart from Tonks coming down here, that is.”  
Sirius smirked. “Yes, I heard that was uncomfortable.”  
“Don’t get me started,” Arthur groaned as he rubbed his eyes. “I’m already stressed enough that the train leaves tomorrow and the children have none of their school supplies.”  
“That’s actually why I came down here. Remus offered to take them all to Diagon Alley today, if you’re alright with that.”  
Arthur visually lit up. “Sirius! You two are my heroes. I don’t think Molly’s planning on leaving her room anytime soon and I have to go to work. It would be truly wonderful if Remus could take them. I have the key to the vault in my pocket already,” Arthur smiled, offering the key to Sirius.  
“Great. Where are the kids?”  
“They came down and grabbed toast and then bolted back upstairs.”  
Sirius laughed. “Sounds about right.”  
“OI! SIRIUS! CAN YOU TELL PROFESSOR LUPIN TO HURRY UP?!” A twin yelled from upstairs.  
“DON’T YELL!” (George?) responded, yelling just as loudly. “BUT YEAH, CAN YOU?”  
Hermione walked into the kitchen shaking her head. “Absolute idiots.”  
She was so much like Lily.  
“Yes, I’ll tell him to hurry up!” Sirius DIDN’T yell.   
“THANKS!” All four of the boys shouted in unison.   
“Thank you, Arthur,” Sirius said to the man at the end of the table.  
“No, Sirius. Thank you. And I’m sorry. We all are.”  
“It’s okay,” Sirius said, walking up the stairs. It wasn’t okay, but sometimes it’s nice to pretend that it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry for the late update! I've been really busy.  
> Comment xx


	22. Remus: Diagon Alley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian returns. Havoc ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas day chapter for all of you!
> 
> Read end notes x

“Okay, can everyone actually get out of the door? Let’s go people, let’s go!” Hermione’s voice stood out over the chatter of the children in the hall of Grimmauld Place. Anyone would think SHE was the teacher.  
“Okay mum,” Fred and George chorused at her, earning a roll of her eyes.  
They all walked to Diagon Alley, entering through the Leaky. Remus couldn’t ignore the glares that he got from those who must be Hogwarts parents. A werewolf, in public. Those Weasleys, letting their children get mixed up with the wrong sort. The Great Harry Potter, with such a lowly man.  
Remus, sadly, was used to it. It was easy to deflect the glares when there were six children who he believed really, truly, liked him following him to the brick entrance.  
“Okay,” Remus began, once they’d all fit through the hole in the wall, “Hermione, Ginny, you’re on robes. Fred, George, do you have everyone’s potions ingredients?” The two boys nodded. “Okay, Harry, Ron, you’re with me. We’re getting everyone’s textbooks. Got it?”  
They all exchanged money, nodded and went their separate ways. Arthur had emptied the Weasley vault the day before, so the kids all had enough money, just barely enough, to cover their supplies. Hermione was exchanging muggle money before she set off to get the robes. Harry, unfortunately, had to visit Gringotts.  
As they walked towards the large bank, Harry said “Professor, not that we mind at all, but why did you choose to come with us? I’m used to being stared at by now, I don’t need protection.”  
Remus smiled slightly at Harry. “Harry, this is just as much for my protection as it is for yours.”  
“Oh,” said Ron. “After Hogwarts, I guess everyone must know.”  
Remus nodded. “The people in front of us, they’re parting like the Red Sea.”  
Ron looked bewildered. “What’s that?”  
Harry waved him off. “Don’t worry. Basically, they’re acting like Professor Lupin is poisonous.”  
“Oh,” Ron sighed in understanding. “You’re not. You’re just a person, really.”  
Remus beamed at that. “Harry, your dad used to call it my ‘furry little problem’.”Harry laughed at that, then his face fell. “Are you alright?” Remus asked quickly.  
“It’s just… it’s stupid,” Harry hid his face, “I just wish I got to know him and my mum the way that you did.”  
“No one wishes that for you as much as Sirius and I do, Harry. Your father and Sirius, they were the closest. But Lily and I, we were best friends. I was the first person to hold you when you were born. And a lot of that seems bloody unfair.”  
“Is it weird to say I miss them?”  
Remus shook his head. “No, Harry, it’s not. It’s not at all. I miss them too.”

They walked in silence the rest of the way into Gringotts. “Do the Goblin’s have a problem with werewolves?” Ron asked.  
“No, not at all. The goblins don’t concern themselves with things such as prejudice. They believe that they are above everyone, so it doesn’t really matter who they serve. They served Sirius when he was on the run, remember?”  
“That’s how he bought me my broomstick?” Harry gasped. “That was so dangerous!”  
Remus smiled at him. “Sirius would climb mountains and cross seas for you, Harry. He loves you more than you’ll ever know.”  
Harry beamed up at Remus. “Thanks, Professor.”  
“Of course, Harry.”  
With that, they entered the bank.  
——————————————————“That was vastly unpleasant,” Remus commented as the exited the bank, Harry holding a sack of gold. “Fun fact. Dumbledore loves the carts. Absolutely adores them. I’ve never seen such glee on a persons face than on Dumbledore’s while in Gringotts.”  
“Is he mad?!” Ron exclaimed, his face white.“Yes,” Harry and Remus responded in unison. “We established that a long time ago,” finished Remus.  
The three of them entered Flourish and Blotts, and picked up everyone’s textbooks. Remus charmed them to be far lighter, or they all would’ve toppled over under the weight of this year’s lessons.   
Remus glanced down at his watch. “We have to meet the others soon. We did agree one o’clock, yes?” The boys both nodded, struggling to speak as they balanced the textbooks. “It will be far easier once you give everyone their own, trust me.”  
Ron sighed dramatically in relief. “Bloody better be,” he muttered.  
Just as Remus thought that everything was going right, he ran into an all too familiar face.  
“Remus!”  
Remus fought the urge to bolt as soon as he heard the voice. Reluctantly, he forced himself to turn around.  
“Hi, Sebastian.”  
“I thought it was you!”  
“Yes, well. It is.” Remus couldn’t think of anything else to say. He knew that Sirius wouldn’t blame him, but he felt guilty speaking to Sebastian all the same.  
“Shall we catch up?” Sebastian smiled in that charming way he smiled.  
“We actually have to be going now,” Harry piped up. Remus had forgotten that the boys were there, but alas, they hadn’t left his side.  
“Just a few minutes, surely!”  
Harry looked up at Remus questionably, but Remus just nodded that it was okay for the boys to continue.  
“So, Rem-“ Remus shuddered at the old nickname, “-what are you doing here?”  
“Getting supplies for the kids. Hogwarts tomorrow, remember?” Remus decided that keeping his answers as succinct as possible was the best strategy to escape his ex-boyfriend as quickly as possible.  
“Ah, yes. Well, I’m here getting some reading materials on healing for Renee. She’s got all but the title when it comes to being the Alpha.”  
“That’s nice.”  
“I miss you, Rem.” The tone of Sebastian’s voice changed dramatically. “I miss us.”  
Remus held up his left hand. “I’m engaged, Sebastian. You know this. I don’t know how many times I’m going to have to remind you.”  
“Sirius doesn’t have to know,” Sebastian said quietly.  
Remus was outraged. “Do you think that little of me? That I would cheat on my fiancee?”  
“We’re MEANT to be together, Rem! I knew it at sixteen, I knew it every time that you come to the pack, and I know it now.”  
“You know what?” Remus felt himself getting angry. He knew he should stop, just walk away, but he couldn’t. Not yet. “There was a connection. Even while I was with Sirius. But every time you pull this shit, I remember why I chose him.”  
“That hurts.”  
“What on earth makes you think that I care? Could you just stop coming onto me, every single bloody time I see you? I thought we could be friends.”  
There was a glint of something in Sebastian’s eyes. Remus recognised it but he couldn’t put together what it was.   
While he was figuring it out, he must have let his guard down, because before he knew it, Sebastian was kissing him.  
Remus pulled back violently. “What the HELL Sebastian!” Remus hissed, not wanting to cause any more of a scene.   
“It feels right!”  
“No, it decidedly does not! Could you, for heaven’s sake, accept that I am in LOVE. I’m practically married! To-“ Remus breathed in “Someone-“ he exhaled, “ELSE! I’m coming to the pack next week and I swear if you pull anything like this, just, don’t!”  
As Remus stormed off, he realised that he’d never missed Lily Evans more than he did right then. She would’ve slapped him, in the iconic way that she always did.   
But now he was left without a best friend, and with the taste of someone other than Sirius on his lips.

———————————————————

“Honey, I’m home,” Remus whispered quietly, opening the door to he and Sirius’ room.  
He gasped. Sirius was kneeling on the bed, completely naked. He looked up at Remus and smirked. “I missed you.”  
Remus slammed the door and dropped everything he was holding. “My god.”“Sirius is fine. Now, come here!”   
“As if I’d say no to that.”  
Sirius pulled off Remus’ vest and unbuttoned the shirt underneath. He kissed down Remus’ scarred torso, but just as Sirius was unbuckling his belt, Remus felt a horrible lump of guilt creep into his throat. They couldn’t do this. Not after what happened.  
“Sirius, stop.”  
“Actual stop?” Sirius asked, looking up at Remus. He looked worried. “Have I done something wrong?”  
“No, baby, no, never,” Remus hushed, pulling Sirius up to lie on him. “Something happened at Diagon Alley.”  
“Who hurt you? Are you okay? Are the kids okay? Is Harry okay? Is-“  
“Pads, shhh,” Remus whispered. “Sebastian was there.”  
“Sebastian, Sebastian?”  
“Yes, that Sebastian.”  
Sirius frowned. “Did he try to talk to you?”  
“We spoke.”  
“There’s nothing wrong with that, Moony. I don’t like it, but it’s okay.”  
“And then he kissed me.”  
“HE WHAT?!” Sirius yelled  
“He-““Oh, I HEARD YOU!” Sirius continued. “Did you kiss him back?” Sirius’ tone shifted to one of sadness. The anger disappeared, and loneliness was left.“Padfoot, I would never. I pushed him off me. I yelled at him. I told him I love you, and only you.”  
Tears were rolling down Sirius’ cheeks. “If he ever does that again, I swear to god-“  
“He won’t.”  
“Thank god you’re not going to the pack again,” Sirius said as he sobbed.  
“Sirius…” Remus couldn’t bring himself to say it. “I talked to Dumbledore last night.”  
“No.”  
“I have to leave in five days.”“No.”  
“Sirius, I have to, you don’t understand-“  
“Trust me, Remus, I understand perfectly. If you’re going to that pack, you can get the fuck out of this room right now.”  
Remus wanted to stay, to hold Sirius, to tell him how much he loved him and that he’d never go again, but he couldn’t.  
“I’m doing this for Harry’s safety.”  
“Don’t you DARE bring Harry into this. This isn’t about Harry. This is about your selfish need to feel useful. Don’t you think I feel like that too? And you don’t see me running away with ex-boyfriends, do you?”  
“I made a promise, Sirius.”  
“You made a promise to me, too.”  
They sat in silence, before Sirius wiped his tears. “Get out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, do we want:
> 
> 1 More smut  
> 2 More angst  
> 3 More fluff
> 
> Or less of anything? Please let me know!


	23. Remus: We All Love Harry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is always forgiveness when it comes to the ones that we love, and the boys really do love each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of some fluff!  
> Next chapter: smut!

Remus knew that he’d fucked up. But he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. There was no way out of this situation.   
Was there?  
Sirius was his life, his love, everything to him, he would do anything for him, of course. He’d hurt Sirius so much already, he’d left him, acted like he was embarrassed of him. He’d been a right bastard and things were finally right. So, he should stay, right?But he couldn’t. Because Dumbledore had put him through school when he felt like he never deserved to live, let alone lead an actual life. Dumbledore had allowed him to transform for years. Dumbledore had saved his life many, many times. Wasn’t it his turn to save some lives for Dumbledore?  
But Dumbledore was a dick.  
But this wasn’t for Dumbledore, Remus reminded himself, it was for the war. It was for all the kids who were fighting in it, it was for Sirius, and it was for Harry. Remus understood how hard it would be for Sirius to see it from this point of view, but that didn’t mean that this point of view didn’t exist.   
So, the pack would be the logical decision. But then there was Sebastian. There was Sebastian, who was somehow still into Remus, some twenty years later. How boring his life must be, to pine after, and chase after, a boyfriend from school. But to Sebastian, Sirius was just a boyfriend from school, too.  
But that wasn’t true. Sirius was his soul mate. He’d always been.   
But he needed to fight this war. No one else could do this job, only Remus. If anyone else could do it, Remus would insist that they do, because it was unfair, top have to choose between he and Sirius’ happiness, and the safety of so many others.  
Didn’t he deserve to be happy?  
But, then again, didn’t they all?

————————————————

The day passed without Sirius resurfacing from their room. Remus needed a shower, but he didn’t dare interrupt Sirius’ brooding, not that it was unwarranted, to get a towel.   
Instead, he sat in the small sitting room upstairs, reading, as all the portraits watched him from every wall.  
There was a knock on the door, and Remus jumped. “Uh, yeah? Come in,” he stammered.  
“Professor Lupin?” It was Harry.   
“Harry,” Remus sighed, relieved that it wasn’t someone who he had to keep up a pretence of being ‘okay’ with. “Come in.”  
Harry entered and shut the door behind him, taking a seat on one of the old dusty armchairs. “What are you doing in here?”  
“Well, at Diagon Alley-“  
Harry interrupted him. “Sebastian, is that his name? He kissed you.”Remus nodded. “I’m so sorry, Harry. I love Sirius, I would never try to hurt him.”  
“I’m not angry, Professor. I just wish I could fix it. Is Sirius angry?”  
Remus nodded. “He told me to get out. I have to go back to the pack in a couple of days, with Sebastian. I told him about the kiss. It…”  
“Didn’t go down well?” Remus nodded. “I can imagine.”  
Remus wondered what the other kids must think of him, kissing someone who ISN’T Sirius. “Do the others know?”  
Harry shook his head. “They didn’t see. And I didn’t tell them.”  
“I hate to lean on you, Harry. I’m meant to be the adult. I don’t know what to do,” Remus said guiltily.  
“It’s okay to not know what to do sometimes, Professor. Everyone feels a little bit lost sometimes. ‘Pain makes us human.’ Aren’t you the one who taught me that?”  
Remus smiled. “You are so much like your mother, Harry. She taught me that. I can’t believe I forgot it.”  
“It’s also okay to need a reminder.”  
They sat in comfortable silence for a while, before Harry stood up. “Right. Well, I’m off to talk to Sirius.”  
Remus stood up quickly. “You don’t have to do that Harry. You don’t have to fix our problems.”  
Harry raised an eyebrow. “Are you telling me NOT to talk to him about this?”Remus stayed quiet. In all honesty, Harry speaking to Sirius would be an awful lot of help.  
“I’ll be back. Or he will. One of us will.”  
Harry made to leave, but before he could close the door, Remus spoke up. “Thank you, Harry.”  
“Of course, Professor Lupin.”  
The door shut behind him.

—————————————————

An hour must have passed, and Remus was almost at the end of his book. He hadn’t taken a word of it in.  
There was a knock on the door. “Yeah? Come in.” Remus hadn’t been this nervous in a long time.  
It was Sirius. “Hi.”  
“Hi, Pads,” Remus responded, risking the nickname.   
“I’m sorry.”  
Remus stood up and grabbed Sirius’ hands. “Please, please don’t be sorry.”  
“I was being unreasonable.”  
“No, you weren’t.” They both knew that Sirius wasn’t being unreasonable, not at all.   
“Okay, I wasn’t. But I shouldn’t have told you to get out.”  
Remus reached up and wiped a tear from Sirius’ face. “You’ve been crying.” Bloody hell Remus, he thought, of course he’d been crying. Word vomit, much?  
“Of course I’ve been crying, you numpty. I’m going to lose you again.”  
Remus’ heart broke. Sirius had resigned himself to thinking that he and Remus were over, that they were done.  
“No! No, you’ll never lose me. You couldn’t lose me. I’m far too selfish to ever, ever let you go,” Remus said. And he meant it.  
Sirius sat down on one end of the couch that Remus had been reading on. “I’m a mess, Remus.”  
Remus sat down next to him. “My love, we all are.”  
Sirius looked up at Remus, eyes welling with tears again. “I’m a wanted criminal, a convicted mass murderer, who was imprisoned for twelve years, and somehow didn’t go crazy. Or maybe I did. Sometimes I don’t even know if this is real.”“You’re not crazy, my love,” Remus reassured his fiancee.  
“Did you know that in dreams, you have extra fingers?” Sirius began.  
“No, I didn’t.”  
“Sometimes, when I feel happy, actually happy, or even when I feel safe, I count my fingers. That’s how scared I am that if I’m happy, it must be a dream.”  
Remus’ heart broke all over again. “Padfoot, you’re everything to me. There aren’t words to describe how much I love you. Ho much I value you. How much I need you. I’ve tried to find the words. I trust you, Sirius. I trust you completely.”  
Sirius smiled weakly. “I trust you too.” Remus raised an eyebrow. The way Sirius spoke about the pack before implied a massive level of mistrust between the two. “I do, Moony. I just get scared, that you’ll realise.”  
“Realise what?”  
“The truth of all of this. I’m not good enough for you. I wasn’t in sixth year, and I’m definitely not now.”  
And Remus’ heart broke yet again. “You can’t really think that, Pads.”  
Sirius just nodded and looked down.  
“You’re too good for me, Pads. Despite everything you’ve gone through, you can feel. You can love me. And it is the greatest thing, it is the greatest gift in the world, to be loved by Sirius Black.”  
“You don’t need to say that to make me feel better.”  
Remus tilted Sirius’ head up to match his eyeline. “I’m not. Every word of it is true. And I am so lucky that you let me love you.”  
“You can always love me, Remus.”  
“Sirius?”  
Sirius cocked his head.  
“I always, always will.”  
Sirius pounced on Remus, causing them both to laugh into the kiss that Sirius laid on his lips.   
The stayed like that for a while, kissing gently on the couch.   
It was nice like that.

————————————————————  
The next morning, the kids were all leaving for the train. Harry was leaving, and Remus would miss him dearly. He couldn’t imagine how Sirius felt.

That morning, Remus gave Sirius some time with Harry, some time to say goodbye. 

Sirius shifted into Padfoot and followed the kids, and their guards, to the train, much to Remus’ displeasure and fear. 

Alas, Sirius returned, in one piece, and safe. Remus enveloped him in a hug.  
“Want to go to bed? Second floor’s mostly ours now,” Sirius smirked suggestively.

Remus wanted to be mature, to say that they should chat to the adults, but fuck, he loved his boyfriend, and he’d be damned if he couldn’t show him as soon as physically possible.  
“I’d love that, Pads. Now get your arse upstairs and cast the strongest silencing charm you can manage.  
Sirius pecked Remus on the cheek and bolted up the stairs, weaving in and out of the people flooding the hallway.  
Remus followed him with his eyes, the pack and the war far out of his mind.   
All he could think was how lucky he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all resting after Christmas. I've been reading heaps of fics recently, if you can recommend any good ones, comment!  
> Much love,  
> Gabby xo


	24. Sirius: We Can Stay Happy. For Now.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smutty smut smut. Tasteful smut though. Lots of feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, guess my age. I'm interested

Sirius sat on the bed. He knew he only had a minute or two before Remus could escape the clutches of the adults downstairs and come upstairs, after all, he was far too grown up to simply weave in and out of the crowd and ignore those who called after him.   
Unfortunately, these minutes left Sirius nervous.   
They almost always entered the room together before they did this, and there was no doubt in Sirius;’ mind that they were about to… well. They both knew.  
Usually, they’d kiss somewhere in the house and it would become heated, heated enough that one of them would drag the other up the stairs to the bedroom. Sirius didn’t have time to think in instances like those, because Remus’ mouth was on his neck and he was tangling his hands in Remus’ hair and there was no room for nerves because his head bursting with lust…  
But times like these, when their intentions were clear, they were going to have s e x, and Sirius entered the room before Remus, the waiting was torture. The waiting was somewhat lonely, and the smallest bit exhilarating, and he didn’t like it one bit. He would shake, yet try not to seem shaken when Remus eventually entered, but before Remus had come upstairs Sirius had wanted to be railed to the headboard and he was pretty sure Remus wanted to do the railing.  
But now, now that he was alone, he wanted care, and love, and adoration, he wanted to feel like he deserved it. And maybe that wasn’t what Remus wanted. Maybe this was ruined.

The door creaked open. “Sirius?”  
“Yeah?” Sirius croaked out.  
Remus shut the door behind him and stood still, staring at his boyfriend. “What the fuck happened?”  
Sirius touched his face and realised that he was crying. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry. Ignore it, please.”  
Remus sat down one the bed. “You know very well that I can’t ignore it. What’s going on?” Remus asked softly.  
“I’m just as bloody sensitive as I was when I was sixteen. I’m sorry.” And he was. He really was sorry.  
“Baby,” Remus said softly, aching for Sirius’ hand. “You can’t be sorry for this. I’m sorry I didn’t come in sooner.”  
“It’s not your fault,” Sirius sniffled. “I shouldn’t… be like this.”  
Remus smiled gently. “I love you. Like this or not. You want to just cuddle? We don’t need to do anything.”  
“I said we would.”  
“We’ve said we’d do a lot of things since we were sixteen, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but things don’t exactly pan out sometimes. Most of the time, actually,” Remus added at the end. Sirius smiled. “So, what do you want to do?”  
Sirius pondered this for a moment. What did he want to do?   
After a moment, he knew what felt right. “I want you to make love to me.”  
Remus blushed. After all these years, Remus still blushed. “Are you sure? We can do anything you want, or nothing, we can, I don’t know, just-“Sirius placed a finger over Remus’ lips. “As cute as I find it when you ramble, my love, I really am sure. What do you want?”  
“That.”  
“What?”  
“I want to show you how much I love you.”  
Remus was stroking Sirius’ cheek and tucking his hair behind his ear. “Okay,” Sirius whispered. “Get on with it, then.”

————————————————————

Remus spent a long time kissing Sirius, but Sirius didn’t spend nearly as long kissing him back. Remus’ lips roamed from Sirius’ neck, to his nipples, to his hips, to his thighs, purposefully avoiding Sirius’ cock, eliciting a groan from Sirius.  
“Hey, just because I’m not fucking you like usual doesn’t mean I’m not going to tease,” Remus mumbled from between Sirius’ thighs.  
“Stop teasing,” Sirius whined. “Please.”  
Remus stopped touching Sirius to make eye contact. “As you wish.”  
With those words, Remus yanked Sirius’ trousers off, taking his pants with them. “So beautiful,” Remus whispered, as he lowered his lips down to the head of Sirius’ cock.   
Sirius moaned as his boyfriend took him into his mouth, and after a minute or so his hips involuntarily bucked. “Shit, sorry,” Sirius panted.  
Remus smirked up at him. “You can do that if you want. But I want you straight after.”  
Sirius nodded rapidly and Remus lowered his head again. Sirius started thrusting upwards into Remus’ welcoming throat, and it wasn’t long before he was crying Remus’ name and shooting down his throat.  
Once he’d swallowed all of Sirius’ cum, Remus resurfaced from between Sirius’ thighs.   
Sirius knew that Remus wanted him now, and he’d let him fuck his mouth, so Sirius would let Remus have him now, but deep down, he wanted kisses.   
Somehow, Remus knew. “You want kisses, baby?”  
Sirius nodded in a blissful post orgasm way. “Yeah. If that’s okay.”  
Remus moved up the bed so that he was sharing a pillow with Sirius. “It’s always okay, my love.”  
So they kissed. They kissed, and kissed, and kissed some more. They kissed until their kisses turned from loving, comforting kisses into passionate, heated, almost bites.   
Their mouths were fighting for dominance, and at that point, Sirius pulled away, breathless. “I’m ready.”  
“You sure?” Remus panted.   
“Are you?”  
Remus grabbed Sirius’ hand and guided it between his legs. “Does it feel like I’m ready?” Remus whispered as Sirius grabbed his rock hard cock.   
“Yeah,” Sirius exhaled, “yeah, it does.”  
“Pass the lube, please,” Remus asked, kissing Sirius’ throat as he reached for the jar on his bedside table. “Thank you, baby. Tell me if it hurts.”  
Sirius smiled. Remus said that, ‘tell me if it hurts’, every single time they had sex. Remus knew by now that it never hurt, at least not anymore, but he said it anyway. It did hurt after Azkaban, but that was to be expected after years of celibacy, but now when they were together it felt natural. They were meant to be connected, that’s what they were put on this Earth to do, so how could it ever, truly, hurt?  
“I will,” Sirius responded, as he always did. They had a rhythm, and who was he too disrupt it?  
Sirius closed his eyes as one of Remus’ fingers breached his hole. He kissed at the temperature.  
“Shit, are you okay?” Remus asked as he stilled his finger.  
“Yeah, of course, just cold,” Sirius stuttered.  
“It’ll be better in a minute, okay?” Remus answered, resuming the motion of his finger.  
“I know,” Sirius groaned as Remus stroked his prostate. “God, Remus, that feels…” Sirius trailed off in pleasure.  
“Another?”  
Sirius nodded, unable to speak. Remus pushed another finger into Sirius, scissoring his fingers and stroking Sirius’ prostate in tandem. Sirius didn’t even notice Remus add another finger. He only realised when all three of Remus’ fingers crooked against Sirius’ prostate, and he could finally moan out that he was ready.  
“You sure?” Remus smirked, continuing his movements.  
“Mhm, please, just… make love to me,” Sirius finished. That’s what he’d wanted then, and that’s what he wanted now.  
“Of course, my love,” Remus said soothingly as he withdrew his fingers, leaving Sirius to groan at the feeling of emptiness.   
“Just one second, baby, just wait one second,” Remus said as he covered his cock in lube. “I don’t want it to be too cold.”  
Sirius blushed at the extra time that Remus was taking, just for Sirius’ comfort. “You’re too good for me.”  
“No, baby, you’re perfect. There’s no one better than you. I do my best, though. It’s what you deserve,” Remus said, lining himself up with Sirius’ hole. “You ready?”  
Sirius nodded. “I love you,” he added.  
“Oh baby,” Remus sighed. “I love you too.” And with that, he pushed into Sirius and buried himself to the hilt in one thrust.  
Fuck, Sirius thought. If I died right now, at least I’d die happy.  
Remus started moving his hips in circles, his cock brushing against Sirius’ prostate with every rotation of his hips. Sirius knew he was moaning loudly, too loudly, and he was praying that the silencing charm that he had cast would hold up.  
Remus began thrusting, slowly, into Sirius, and peppering his face with kisses with every thrust. “You feel so good, Pads, so fucking tight,” Remus groaned.  
“You- just- ugrhhh,” Sirius moaned out, unable to form coherent speech while he was being so perfectly fucked by his boyfriend.  
He was, however, getting slightly paranoid about the silencing charms. Molly was still downstairs, and the last thing that any of them needed was her getting a live show of their sexcapades.   
“Baby?” Sirius said, all his effort going into forming speech.  
“Yeah?” Remus said, stilling.  
“Can you recast a silencing charm?”  
Remus smiled and clearly chose not to argue. “Sure, love. I have to pull out, okay?”  
Sirius furrowed his brows.   
“Don’t pout, you asked for it,” Remus said jokingly as he reached for his wand.Then, Sirius had an idea. He lifted himself up, with great difficulty, and pushed Remus down onto the bed after the charm was cast.  
“What’re you doing?” Remus asked, raising his eyebrow.  
“Can- can I ride you?” Sirius asked nervously. They hadn’t done this much, but it seemed right. Sirius needed more control, but he hated topping, so this seemed right, for now at least.  
Remus eyes seemed to roll back in his head. “Fuck, yes you can, holy shit, please, please, baby,” Remus moaned out.   
Well, thought Sirius, this went down well. Definitely a pleasant surprise. He lifted his leg over Remus’ waist and straddled him, reaching behind him to guide Remus’ cock to his hole.  
And then, when Sirius did begin sinking down, the noise that escaped Remus’ mouth was nothing short of magical. Sirius barely registered that Remus had been moaning his name, and he instantly became a thousand times more turned on and infinitely closer to finishing.  
Sirius tried to stroke himself while he was lifting himself up and down, but clearly Remus saw him struggling, grabbing Sirius’ cock and stroking it in time with Sirius’ thrusts.   
Soon enough, Remus began thrusting up into Sirius as Sirius brought himself down, crashing his hips against Remus’.  
This was, Sirius decided, nothing short of ecstasy.  
“Baby, I’m- I’m close…” Remus panted.   
“Me too, god, me too, go faster, please,” Sirius begged for his release.  
“Okay, faster,” Remus confirmed as he started stroking Sirius cock rapidly, and as Sirius leaned down to kiss his boyfriend, he came all over both of their chests.  
Almost immediately after, Sirius felt himself fill up with Remus’ cum. This was his favourite part, being full of his boyfriend. It was incredible.  
Sirius heaved himself off Remus and laid down next to him. He registered that they were both clean, and noticed Remus put down his wand. Remus pulled Sirius in close, and he stroked his hair softly, the way Sirius loved.  
“That was…” Sirius trailed off.  
“Yeah,” Remus agreed. There were no words. It was fucking amazing.  
“Do you want to talk about the pack?” Remus asked.  
Usually, Sirius would’ve said yes. Would’ve interrogated Remus until he felt better, but now? Now, he was comfortable, he was wrapped up in his boyfriend’s arms, and he couldn’t imagine feeling any calmer than this.  
“No.”  
“No?” Remus said, turning to face Sirius.  
“I’m happy now. Can I stay happy?”  
Sirius felt Remus place a kiss on his forehead. “Yeah, baby. We can both stay happy right now.”  
And that was the last thing that Sirius heard before drifting off to sleep in the arms of the man he loved so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for still reading my loves! You're angels!  
> xoxo Gabs


	25. Remus: The Pack Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus visits the pack.
> 
> I accidentally posted the wrong chapter under this name! Sorry guys, this is the right one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be a time jump in case you guys are getting bored!
> 
> Sorry about the spelling and punctuation mistakes, my spacebar isn't working properly so I'm doing my best manually.

“I know, I know. I’ll be back in a week, okay?” Remus said soothingly to Sirius as they lay sat on the bed. Remus had his rucksack in one hand and Sirius’ hand in his other.  
“No. Not okay,” Sirius pouted. “Stay, please.”  
It wasn’ fair, Remus thought, for Sirius to beg. They both knew the Remus had little choice in the matter anyway.  
“Sirius, that’s not fair. We’ve been over this. Please, just kiss me before I leave.”  
Sirius looked up sadly and muttered “Okay.”So, they kissed, Remus bid the adults farewell, and set off for the pack. 

Remus had an awful lot of time to think once he’d apparated to the hills in Scotland. It was an hours walk to he pack from here, so Remus recalled he and Sirius’ last interaction with Molly. He hadn’t had much time to think about it the past two days, and he knew that focusing on it would stop him falling into a Sebastian-focused ‘what if?’ downward spiral.  
So, he recounted to himself, what had actually happened?

It was two days after the children left when Bill and a clearly hesitant Fleur came to Grimmauld Place. Bill made it abundantly clear that he was there solely for ‘official business’ and that he had ‘no intention’ of participating in an argument with his mother. He also made it clear that no one was to say a negative word to Fleur, or they would both be dropping out of The Order completely. Remus admired the protection that Bill held for his wife. He knew that he and Sirius were the same way with each other.  
The whole debacle started with Fleur and Remus’ conversation.  
They’d been sitting at the kitchen table, expertly avoiding even the briefest of eye contact with Molly, when Remus decided that the atmosphere was far too uncomfortable for him, and Sirius was feeding Buckbeak, so he stood up. “I think I’ll take my tea in the sitting room,” he had said. “Fleur, would you like to join me?”  
Fleur exhaled with relief and stood up. “Yes. That sounds good.”  
Remus sat on one end of the green couch and Fleur sat on the other. “Thank you,” Fleur said quietly.  
“For what?” Remus asked, stirring his tea.  
“Getting me out of there. Bill’s in with Dumbledore and I was… uncomfortable, I guess.”  
Remus nodded and smiled. “I understand how you feel, trust me.”  
“But you seemed fine!”  
“You get used to it, trust me. You shouldn’t have to, and I think as the world gets older people will become far more accepting, but for now I’ll tell you that it does get easier.”  
Fleur smiled. “How did you know?”  
“Do you want the real answer or the appropriate answer?”  
Fleur took a moment. “The real answer, I think.”  
Remus hadn’t thought about the moment that he discovered he was bi until that very second, but it seemed fairly simple. “I knew that I was gay when I was younger, but I think that’s because the only person I was attracted to was Sirius. But when he went to Azkaban, I shagged a few girls and found I liked it as much as I did guys. But Sirius is something different. Nothing’s ever the same as with him with anyone else.”  
“That’s like Bill for me,” nodded Fleur. “I’ve been with both, I like both, I’ve been with people who don’t have a gender and I like them too, but Bill’s different. He’s the one for me, you know?”  
Remus smiled. “I do know, I do.” They sat in silence, drinking their tea, for a while, when Fleur brought up the epic the t they were both trying to avoid.  
“Should we try and talk to Molly?”  
Remus sighed and placed his mug on a coaster, being careful not to touch it. It was made of pure silver. “I think so? But I’m not sure what she’ll say. Usually I only have Big Conversations when I know what the other person is going to say.”  
“What’s this about big conversations?” Sirius said, sauntering into the room.  
“We were wondering if we should talk to Molly.”  
“Remus! I think that’s a fantastic idea!” Sirius exclaimed. “In fact, we should do it right now! Molly!”  
“Sirius! No!”  
“What?” Molly called out.  
“Could you come to the sitting room please?”  
Remus heard a chair scrape against the kicteehn floor and a muttered “Must I?” Before Molly entered the room.  
“Oh. What’s this about?” She asked.  
“Well,” began Sirius, “I don’t like conflict OR segregation in my own house, so I think we should talk about this.”  
Remus, having accepted his fate of having a Big Conversation, chimed in. “You don’t have to support us, but we should at least figure out how to exist in the same room.”  
“I suppose you’re right.” Molly took a seat. “I’m sorry.”  
“What now?” Sirius whipped around. “You’re what?!”  
“I’m sorry. I was… nasty. I wasn’t fair. I didn’t even give you a chance.”  
“Well, this is surprising,” added Fleur.  
“You don’t have to forgive me-“  
“Good, because chances are I won’t-“  
“Sirius!”  
“But I’m going to try and make this normal. Because you’re the same people.”  
She’d clearly been speaking to Dumbledore.  
“Yes,” Remus decided. “We are.”

So as Remus walked through the hillside to the pack, he wondered whether the fact that humans can change their minds so easily was a blessing or a curse. He could spent months convincing the pack to join the resistance and it could possibly take just once conversation with a death eater for them to all change their minds. He hoped that Renee and Suzanna, the current leaders, weren’t as impressionable as Molly Weasley. That would be a kick in the arse. And in the face, for that matter.

———————————————

A few minutes later, Remus was standing at the top of the hill that somewhat concealed the pack’s camp. It was too civilised to be called a camp, really, but there wasn’t a better word.  
Renee clearly spotted Remus as he walked carefully down the hillside. She gave him a big smile and she waved, and all of the others turned their heads and joined her in waving and smiling too.  
No one was crazily running towards him, which meant that Sebastian was either collecting food, or sleeping.  
“Hi guys!” Remus said to the kids who ran over and hugged his legs.  
“Hi Remus,” they all chorused.  
“Shoo!” Renee laughed as she batted the kids away. “Hi, Remus. How was your journey?”  
Remus sighed as he put down his rucksack. “It was okay. I’m knackered, honestly.”  
“I imagine you would be. You should go have a lie down, but Suzanna wants to see you first.”  
Remus stopped in his tracks. Sebastian might be inside. “Um, Renee, is-“  
“Sebastian has been warned not to repeat his strange methods of seduction. He’s inside, and he shouldn’t approach you unless approached. Suzanna wanted to kick him out bu the sod doesn’t have anywhere to go and he’s relatively useful when you aren’t around. Young love dies hard, I guess.”  
Remus smiled. That was a massive relief. “Thank you, Renee. Really.”  
Strangely, Renee reached out and hugged Remus. “Of course, Remus. Could you talk to Suzanna and I before you have a kip?”  
Remus nodded. “Of course.” That’s what he was here for, after all.

Renee walked Remus through the camp to the largest cabin, stopping frequently so that Remus could greet the others. Finally, Renee knocked on the door.  
“Suzanna?” She called out. “Ben?”  
“Come in, child,” Suzanna’s familiar voice came from behind the door. “And bring Remus with you.”  
Renee opened the door to Suzanna and Ben, seated in armchairs at the back of the large room. “Take a seat, Remus,” Renee said, gesturing to an armchair facing Suzanna.  
“It’s nice to see you, Suzanna. You too, Ben,” Remus began. He was always honest, and it was nice to see them.  
“It’s lovely to see you too, child. Are you well?”  
Remus thought about lying, but eventually just shook his head. “Unfortunately not. The war is raging. It’s worse than last time, I’m afraid.”  
“We’ll be helping you.”  
Remus was sure he’d misheard Renee. “What?”Suzanna smiled. “I’m sure what Renee meant to say is that we have decided, as a pack, to join the resistance, as we did back then. Stephanie really wants to see Harry, and I think she swung many of the younger one’s votes… but all the same, we’ll be assisting you in any way that we can.”  
Remus’ let out a breath that he wasn’t aware he was holding. “Thank you. Just… thank you. So much.”  
Suzanna gave another rare smile. “I would rather live like this, with my chosen family, than have all of our kind begin to murder, legally.”  
Remus nodded. “Thats makes sense.”  
“We think so,” added Renee.  
“Take a seat, Remus,” Suzanna requested, again. Remus had forgotten to sit down before and he felt quite awkward about it.  
“Oh. Sorry.”  
Suzanna waved him off as he sat down. “We should discuss this more. What can we do to help with the war?”  
“What’s this about the war?” A voice came from the doorway at the other end of the room. Sebastian was leaning against the threshold.  
“Sebastian,” Suzanna said warningly. “What are you doing?”  
“I want to help.” They all looked at him suspiciously. He threw his hands up. “That’s it! I swear!”  
Renee and Suzanna seemed to have a conversation through eye contact. Finally, Renee broke away and stared at Sebastian. “Fine. You may sit. But one attempt-“  
“I’ll keep my hands to myself, I swear,” Sebastian said happily, but Remus didn’t miss the glance in his direction.  
The five of them sat in a circle, and Remus began. “The Ministry hasn’t accepted that Voldemort is back. They haven’t seen Voldemort themselves, and in their eyes-“  
“In their eyes, if they haven’t seen him, he isn’t alive. Sounds like the Ministry to me,” Renee said bitterly.  
Remus nodded. “Yes, well. They aren’t known for their acceptance, are they?” The room all nodded and Ben rolled his eyes with a smile. “Anyway, we have proof that Voldemort is back. He tried to kill Harry Potter last year, and did kill one of Harry’s classmates in the process.”  
Renee gaped. “No! I’d heard something happened, but he killed an innocent child?!”  
Remus nodded sadly. “It’s horrible, really. One of Voldemort’s followers, Peter Pettigrew-“  
“Wait! We fought with him!” Renee exclaimed.  
“He was a traitor,” Remus explained. “And-“  
“You were mates with him at school!”  
“Sebastian, Remus is speaking, please don’t interrupt,” Suzanna said sharply.  
“But- but- Renee just-“  
“Sebastian,” Suzanna warned. The boys crossed his arms and started sulking quietly. At least it was quiet.  
“Anyway,” Remus picked up, “Peter was the reason that Harry’s parents, James and Lily, died.”  
Renee started to cry. “I liked them. And baby Harry was left an orphan. It’s just horrible.”  
“It is. It’s a tragedy, that someone could do that to their best friend.”  
“Never liked him,” Sebastian commented, earning a sharp look from Suzanna.  
“Do we need to send you outside? Listen!”  
“I am listening! You’re literally all talking-“ Clearly, the dirty look Sebastian received was enough to send him back into his quiet sulk.  
“Peter returned to Voldemort and helped him resurrect, or regain his human form at least, when school finished for the year. He took Harry during the Triwizard Tournament and Voldemort almost killed him. Harry barely escaped-“ Remus took a breath, “but he did. Thank Merlin for that.”  
“We spent so long trying to protect that boy. Why won’t Voldemort just leave him alone?”  
“There’s a reason, there’s information I can’t share yet, but Voldemort thinks that neither of them can live while the other survives. Harry stands in the way of Voldemort conquering, and he’s ashamed that his downfall was at the hand of a one year old boy.”  
“It is a bit embarrassing.”  
Remus smiled at Renee. “That’s what he’s thinking, I guess. Harry was attacked by Dementors this Summer, Dementors that the Ministry denies sending. Harry almost got expelled just for claiming that the Dementors were there.”  
Sebastian shuddered.  
“Sebastian?” Suzanna raised an eyebrow.  
“I hate Dementors. The bloody things are evil.”  
Suzanna nodded. “Yes. They’re nasty. Really nasty, actually.”  
“Sure are. Harry used underage magic to repel them, magic that he was lucky to know at his age. He almost got expelled because of it.”  
“Did they realise they were being twats and let him off?”  
“No, Ben, Dumbledore stepped in. Figured it out.”  
“Dumbledore, a great man,” Ben smiled.  
Remus held back a snort. “Well, we’re all works in progress.”  
—————————————————

The moon was tolerable that month. Remus spent the day afterwards healing the kids’ more severe wounds and healing a nasty gash in Suzanna’s leg and a puncture wound from god knows what in Sebastian’s shoulder.  
“Thanks for this, Rem,” Sebastian said as Remus muttered incantations.  
“That’s what I’m here for,” Remus muttered. It was blatantly true.  
“No, thanks for forgiving me. I’ve been a prick. I’m doing better though, I promise.”  
“You’re still a prick,” Remus mumbled while trying to maintain concentration.  
“Fine. I deserved that. Can we just move on? Be friends? Go back to normal?”  
Remus put his wand down so as to not mess up his work. “I don’t know what normal is for us, Sebastian.”  
“We used to be close.”  
“We used to be together!” Sebastian opened his mouth but Remus cut him off by saying “And don’t you dare suggest we get together again!”  
“I wasn’t going to,” Sebastian said incredibly unconvincingly. Remus raised an eyebrow at him. “Fine. I was. Butt I think it’s quite clear that you’re in love.”  
“It’s quite clear you’re in love, too.”  
“But you’re in love with Sirius.”  
“And I’m quite happy about it, thank you very much.”  
“Does Sirius mind you’re here? Especially since there’s so much chemistry between us still? Surely he knows that? And-“  
Remus picked up his wand. “Shut up and let me heal your wound or I swear to god I’ll just leave you to bleed out.”  
“You wouldn’t do that, Rem.”  
Having muttered the last incantation, Remus stood up. “I think you’ll find I would. And frankly, I’d enjoy it.”  
He stalked away, leaving Sebastian gaping on the floor.

—————————————————

Remus hugged Suzanna, a rare occurrence for the woman, as he said goodbye to the pack. He hated leaving the kids, and he hated the fact that they would hug his legs and beg him to stay when a large part of him wished that he could, but Sirius… Sirius was at home, and home WAS Sirius, and ultimately, that won.  
“Thank you for having me, Suzanna,” Remus said kindly.  
“Please dear, thank Renee. She does most of the work these days,” Suzanna said with a nod to a blushing Renee.  
“Thank you Renee. I really do enjoy visiting here.”  
“You’re welcome to continue coming when we win the war,” Ben added.  
Remus frowned. “Don’t you think that’s a little optimistic?”  
“Remus,” Suzanna said as she grabbed his hand, “you’re going to win. And we’re going to help.”  
“Thank you,” Remus said to all three of them.  
He turned on his heel, turning to thank them one last time and wave at the kids. He thanked them, and he meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! I started Merlin, These Boys are Idiots in a psych unit but these fics and YOU GUYS have helped me heal.  
> As always, leave comments and kudos please, and get ready for a time jump!  
> Gabby xxx


	26. Sirius: Arthur's Attack and New Tattoos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur gets attacked by Nagini, the kids are home for Christmas and Tonks gives Sirius a tattoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHAPTERS EVER!
> 
> Like, SERIOUSLY
> 
> Please comment if you liked it!

THREE MONTHS LATER

“Moooonyyyy, pleeeease,” Sirius whined as he lay flat on his back on their bed.

“Sirius, you have legs. Go get them yourself.”

“I don’t want to talk to him!”

“You’ll have to at some point.”

Remus was right, Sirius knew that. He’d have to talk to Dumbledore at some point.

A month ago, Dumbledore had given Sirius a stack of papers with Death Eater correspondence, all of which were in code. Sirius had been given the job of decoding the parchment, and as soon as he began he immediately regretted complaining about having nothing to do.

Nothing was far more exciting than this.

Today Sirius was to collect more papers after spending the past month working on the stack he had handed to Dumbledore a few days prior. Dumbledore had been ‘immensely impressed’ and decided that decoding was now Sirius’ job. He deserved it, Sirius supposed. He had been complaining about his lack of responsibility, after all.

He did not, however, want to go and talk to Dumbledore right now. He had multiple reasons, and in his opinion, they were all entirely valid.

Firstly, he was thoroughly fucked-out from the night previously and was still having trouble sitting. Dumbledore would most definitely notice this, just as he had last time, and give him that same awkward wink that made Sirius gag.

Secondly, he was still slightly mad at Molly. Everyone else had forgiven her, and she’d made a great effort to completely accept, and even support, all sexualities . She’d even asked Sirius to explain to her what other sexualities there were so that she wouldn’t react in the same way. She’d made a good point about why she was so upset. “This may not be new to any of you, but it’s new to me. I’ll try my hardest Sirius, I promise,” she’d said. Everyone else understood. Sirius, however, did not.

So secondly, he didn’t want to go downstairs and inevitably engage in conversation with Molly.

Thirdly, he didn’t want feedback on the codes he had already deciphered. He was feeling pretty confident about the work that he’d done, and didn’t want a damper placed on it by Dumbledore deciding he had done something wrong. Fourthly, and most importantly, he didn’t actually want more codes to decipher. It felt nice to be good at something, of course, and it felt good to be able to help the cause, but it had been a month of sleepless nights since he’d started this task. Whenever he closed his eyes he saw nonsensical numbers and letters floating around. He had to interrupt sex, yes, INTERRUPT SEX, because he thought he finally figured out one of the letters. Remus was amused. Sirius was decidedly not.

“I’ll talk to him at some point, just not now,” Sirius pleaded. “Just… please, Remus? I’ll do anything!”

Remus rolled his eyes and put down his wand. “You owe me. Big time.”

“If they ask, I’m asleep.”

“You suck.”

“I love you!”

——————————————————

Apart from decoding, Sirius had attended many meetings, all of which revolved around the goddamn prophecy. The prophecy that he wasn’t allowed to tell Harry about, specifically. There was an awful lot of speculation about what was ‘safe’ to tell the children and what was ‘a bad idea, Sirius! Stop asking about it!’. Sirius thought it would be much better to be open with Harry about the goings-on of the organisation that was, although no-one would admit it, almost solely dedicated to protecting the boy.

No-one, not even Remus, agreed with him.

Remus. There was, of course, Remus. His boyfriend, who’d been going to the pack every month… they’d somehow been fantastic, really. They hadn’t fought in months, and although Sirius was missing Harry terribly, and there was a war raging, his personal life seemed to be looking up. That was always positive, so he focused on that.

Sirius was sitting in an Order meeting a few days before the Christmas holidays - a few days before he got to see Harry, finally - discussing Dolores Umbridge, the Biggest Bitch Known To Man, as Sirius had fondly dubbed her.

Remus, the man who never spoke ill of anyone, really, even admitted that the woman was a raging lunatic ‘to put it lightly’.

She stood for everything that the Order, particularly Remus and Sirius, stood against. Her views on the regulation of magical creatures were alarming, and she was taking over Hogwarts bit by bit. She was a toad-faced, pink-wearing freak who should be put down herself. Sirius voiced that in the Order meeting. He was told to ‘calm down’ by Emmeline, who he proceeded to glare at for the next forty-five minutes.

The meeting was the calm before the storm.

“I best be going, I’m taking over from Tonks on watch in less than an hour,” Arthur said, standing up and kissing his wife on the cheek. “I’ll see you all in a few days!”

They all murmured their goodbyes and smiled at Arthur as he left for the Ministry, and moved on to discussing lighter topics, such as whether ‘if you could live on either cauldron cakes or treacle tarts for the rest of your life, what would you choose?’ 

Tonks appeared soon after, saying that Arthur was in position and that she thought cauldron cakes were the obvious choice. Everything seemed fine. Really.

Sirius was seeing Harry in a few days, almost everyone agreed with HIM when it came to treacle tart, he was actually helping The Order with decoding, and everything truly seemed to be okay. He should have seen it coming, really.

When things are going well, chances are you’re seconds away from disaster.

—————————————————-

“Okay, what the fuck’s happening? Could someone please explain what’s going on? Where’s Harry?!” Sirius called out over the worried chatter in the kitchen.

“Padfoot, he’s going to be okay, alright? He will be.” Remus appeared on Sirius’ left and grasped his hand.

“You don’t know that,” Sirius said, his voice shaking. “We thought James and Lily-“

“Sirius, this isn’t like that. He’s with Dumbledore now, he’s safe, okay?”

Sirius didn’t respond.

Walburga began screaming, shocking Sirius out of his scared daze. Molly had come through the front door.

Someone silenced Walburga, and Molly began speaking to the now quiet room, tears obviously welling in her eyes again. “Arthur’s going to be okay. He’s at Mungo’s, and they’re taking good care of him,” she sobbed. “The kids are coming by portkey. They’ll be here soon.” 

Sirius let out a breath that he didn’t remember holding. He was flooded with relief, not just at Harry being okay, but at Arthur being alive. Tonks pulled Molly into a hug and they whispered to each other before Tonks pulled back. “Arthur was bitten by Nagini, Voldemort’s snake. We don’t know how it got into the Ministry, but the prophecy’s safe. Mungo’s said that Arthur will live, probably, but he’s not stable. The only reason that he’s alive is because of Harry.”

“What actually happened with Harry?” Hestia asked quietly, hoping she hadn’t said the wrong thing.

Molly whispered something in Tonks’ ear, which she repeated. “That’s an explanation for another time. We don’t have the full story, and we don’t even know if Harry’s okay with us telling you.”

Molly pulled away from Tonks and wiped her eyes, addressing the room. “Thank you all for being here, for staying while we tried to fix this, to save Arthur…” Molly collapsed into tears again, before composing herself quickly, “and I appreciate it so much. The kids will be here any minute, and I’d like if it was just family when they got here, if that’s alright with everyone.”

Sirius was relieved that Molly had said that, because he’d desperately wanted to kick everyone out of his house the second that he found out something had happened that involved his godson. He grasped Remus’ hand and they both squeezed tight.

“Of course, Molly. Send us a patronus or an owl or something if you need anything, okay?” Tonks spoke for the rest of the room.

“Thank you, thank all of you. I need to sit down.” Molly wandered over unsteadily to a chair and put her head in her hands as soon as she sat down.

Everyone filed out of the house quite quickly after that, leaving Molly, Sirius and Remus in the kitchen. “I can go, if you want,” Remus said to Molly, who shook her head.

“No, you stay. You’re Sirius’ husband, or you may as well be. You’re family now, too.”

Remus blushed intensely and took a seat.

Sirius sat next to him. “I’m so sorry, Molly,” Sirius said quietly. And he really, really was.

“Thank you, Sirius. It’s because of Harry. Your friends made an incredible child.”

Sirius smiled to himself, despite it all. “Yes, they did.”

————————————————

A week later, Sirius was standing in the doorway of the kitchen in Grimmauld Place as the Weasleys reunited with Arthur, who was looking significantly scratched up but much better than Sirius expected. Remus was on ‘a mission’, whatever the hell that meant, but he wasn’t with the pack, Sirius knew that much, and he would be home within the next few days. This, unfortunately, left Sirius to argue with Molly about almost everything with no mediator at all, which made for a vastly unpleasant few days.

Harry, however, was there.

Sirius had spent the past few days reuniting with his godson, and his favourite person in the world. Hogwarts was apparently a nightmare, what with Umbridge taking over every little genuinely enjoyable aspect of student life. McGonagall, according to the children, had put up quite a fight. Sirius had pointed out that if that was the case then all amusement was not lost.

That night, however, left Sirius in the doorway, not wanting to take a seat lest he interrupt the family reunion, and not wanting to remain standing in the doorway, as he hadn’t been getting much sleep without Remus, and really wanted to sit down.

‘Just sit down,’ Hermione mouthed to Sirius, sensing his discomfort. He shook his head, trying to convince himself that ‘the time would come’ or whatnot.

“To Harry!” The whole table chanted, snapping Sirius out of his daze.

“To Harry,” Sirius added, raising his goblet. He instinctually winked at Harry, the way he always had done with James.

Sirius did end up taking a seat. He ended up not only taking a seat, but having a truly enjoyable dinner. This, he realised, was the first time Grimmauld Place had ever seen a really family dinner that was free of yelling, or cursing, or leaving someone in a full-body-bind for not cooperating with the chosen conversation. This was the first time Grimmauld Place had ever seen a family dinner where the only disciplinary statement was ‘get your elbows off the table, George! Have your father and I taught you nothing?!’. This was the first family dinner Grimmauld place had seen that was free of snide remarks and threats.

This was the first time that Sirius had had dinner in Grimmauld Place with his family.

And, as Sirius looked over at a laughing Harry, he thought that that was pretty great.

————————————————

Tonks showed up for dessert that night, and Sirius found himself not minding in the slightest. Without Remus there, he was genuinely glad to see his cousin, and he realised that maybe the fact that she’d had (or still, maybe, had, but Sirius ignored that) a crush on his fiancee didn’t mean she was anything less than family. After they’d all helped clear the table of plates and cutlery, Molly had announced that she heading to read in the sitting room, and Arthur had headed to join her.

This left the Weasley children, Harry, Hermione, Tonks and Sirius to their own devices.

“I need to show you all something!” Tonks said excitedly.

This was going to be dangerous, Sirius assumed.

“Okay? What is it?” Ginny asked.

“Upstairs?” Tonks said, nodding towards the second floor.

“Sure,” Harry said, the rest of them shrugging their shoulders.

They all followed Tonks into the sitting room with the creepy portraits down the hall from Remus and Sirius’ room.

“What is it?” Harry hung back and whispered into Sirius’ ear.

“No clue,” Sirius whispered back. “We should keep our wands handy, though.”

“You reckon the Ministry will forgive me for underage magic if I use it to put out an accidental fire started by Tonks?”

Sirius smiled at Harry’s smirk. “Probably not, but desperate times?”

“Desperate measures,” Harry finished as the entered the room. 

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Since the group had adopted the upstairs sitting room as a sort of hideout, a ‘meeting place for the children and technically-adults-but-not-really’ as such, Sirius and Remus had made some changes to the decor.

All of the dust had been vanished, and Remus had transfigured some old bookends into comfortable couches. There was a noticeable lack of cobwebs, and Sirius had spent a long time arguing with the portraits and attempting to dissuade them from passing on any intimate secrets shared in the room to any of their portraits in other locations.

This had proved wildly unsuccessful and resulted in the portraits promising to ruin Sirius’ life and ‘blemish his bloodline’, to which Sirius had retaliated with something along the lines of ‘my bloodline’s already blemished, my mother was a hag and my father was a monster’. The portraits had resorted to all walking out of their frames and coming back with suspiciously proud looks on their faces, so Sirius had decided to simply tug them off the wall (after disabling some incredibly strong sticking charms) and dump them Buckbeak’s room, knowing that the ever-so-loyal Hippogriff would peck the portraits to pieces.

“You can’t leave us here!” Ganymede Black (according to the script on the golden frame) wailed at Sirius as he placed the painting in front of the fireplace (oh, how he wished that his mother hadn’t made these portraits immune to flames).

“Oh, but I can,” Sirius said smugly.

“We’ll tell our other portraits! They’ll complain!” Himalia Black (seriously, Sirius thought, WHAT was with his family and astrological names?!) cried out.

“I’m sure that they will. Nothing they can do about it though, is there?”

The portraits all looked at each other and started speaking in hushed voices, so Sirius picked them up and turned each painting to face the portraits that they didn’t get along with.

Sure, the whole ordeal had taken the better part of two days, but was it worth it? Definitely.

(Remus thought Sirius was being petty and chastised him for his meddling, but Sirius caught Remus smirking in the mirror and heard him laugh when he left the room and thought Sirius couldn’t hear.)

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

That being said, Sirius was excited to see what the others thought of his new choice of decor. Tonks led the way into the room and let out a gasp of excitement at the new decorations on the wall: tapestries of rebellious muggle slogans about gay rights and racial equality. Fred and George followed, having much the same reaction, Ginny and Hermione suppressed obvious squeals of excitement and flopped onto the squishy couches, and Ron and Harry walked in with Sirius and looked around the room, simultaneously exhaling “Brilliant!” with wide eyes.

Sirius was feeling pretty fucking chuffed, if he did say so himself. Once they’d all told Sirius just how wonderful the new room was, and boosted his ego thoroughly, they all took a seat, admitted a sigh at the comfort factor of the new furniture, and turned to stare at Tonks.

She looked alarmed. “What? Is there something on my face?!” Ginny snorted, then turned red and glanced at Harry (Sirius noticed these things), before composing herself and smiling at Tonks.

“You were going to show us something, dummy!”

“Oh! Yes! I did a thing…” she trailed off nervously and Sirius watched Fred and George subtly pull out their wands and exchange glances of fear.

“What is it?!” Hermione gasped. Sirius pulled out his wand and kicked up his feet so that he was splayed across the lounge.

“I got a tattoo!”

Everyone in the room, including Sirius, audibly exhaled in relief. Unfortunately, they completely forgot to react to Tonks’ news.

“Wow, I thought you’d all be a bit more excited than that,” Tonks said, sounding put out.

“No! It’s not that! We just thought you were going to show us a new charm or something and light everything on fire!” Ron said, far too happily for an insult.

“Oh ye of little faith,” Tonks laughed. “But yeah! I was taking a class at the local Wizarding college, the only one that’s still open, so I finally did it!”

“Wait,” Sirius said, feeling incredibly alarmed, “you did it YOURSELF?!”

“Yeah! Isn’t that fantastic!” She exclaimed. Everyone in the room exchanged increasingly worried looks.

“And did it turn out… good?” Fred asked nervously.

“I mean, I think so, but I wanted to show you all, get your opinions,” she smiled.

Sirius prepared himself to lie as convincingly as possible.

“Alright!” Hermione said, clearly trying to feign positivity. “So where is it?”

“My forearm. I was going to put it somewhere no one could see it, but I’m an auror and we have to wear long sleeves every day anyway, so yeah!”

Sirius, who had done a lot of tattoos himself in Azkaban, knew just how badly they could turn out. He hated even Remus seeing them, and he was open with Remus about literally everything, so he had little faith in his clumsy cousin, and wondered who on earth would allow her to take a needle to her skin and make a permanent mark.

“Alright, let’s see it then!” Harry said, managing to sound convincingly optimistic.

“Is it a wizarding tattoo? Like a proper one that moves and everything?” Sirius asked as Tonks took off her jacket. He’d never been able to master wizarding tattoos, which wasn’t all that surprising considering that he was self taught in a cell, in the dark, in the middle of nowhere.

“Yeah, it is. There’s a lot of meaning behind it, too, I would’ve told you but I wanted it to be a…” she paused as she yanked her second coat off (sure, Sirius thought, it’s cold, but two coats?) “Surprise!” She finished, as she held out her forearm.

And it sure was a surprise. 

The tattoo was gorgeous. It was colourful and careful and symmetrical and Sirius wanted to know what it meant.

“Oh my god.”

“Did you seriously do that?”

“How the hell can you do that but not walk in a straight line?”

“It’s so fucking beautiful, Tonks.”

“That’s sick as fuck.”

“That’s awesome!”

“What does it mean?” Sirius asked after the others had finished gushing.

“Oh! Yeah, so, my mum’s name is a galaxy, because, you know, Black’s,” Sirius nodded and rolled his eyes, “and my dad’s name is Edward, and Edward means guardian, so the little guy on the swing is guarding the galaxy! They’re going to be so pissed that I got a tattoo-“

“They’re going to love it,” Sirius interrupted.

“You think?” She said nervously.

“It’s for them. How could they not?”

“Do you like it?” Tonks asked, sounding worried.

Sirius grinned. “It’s fucking incredible, Tonks.”

She beamed. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Sirius nodded.

“Thank god. I was so scared you’d hate it.”

“Why would I hate it?!”

“I don’t know! I was nervous, okay!” The thing was, she really seemed relieved that Sirius liked it. “I value your opinion.” She added quietly.

Sirius was flooded with guilt. Guilt about trying to hate her for liking Remus and guilt about ignoring her when none of it was actually her fault.

“I’ve been a dick. I’m sorry. Your tattoo’s amazing. So are you, Tonks.”

She smiled and her eyes welled up. “Thank you, Siri.”

He hated the nickname, like, so much, but he decided, just this once, to let it slide.

——————————————————

They’d all been talking in the sitting room for an hour or so before the kids decided they wanted to go to bed. Sirius and Tonks bid them all goodnight one by one as they filtered out of the newly rebellious den that Sirius created until there was only Harry, Tonks and Sirius left.

“You going to bed?” Sirius asked Harry, who hadn’t moved from his seat across the room.

Harry stood up and sat next to Sirius. “I thought I’d stay up with you two, if that’s alright.”

“‘Course it is. In fact, you might just be witnessing something amazing.”

Tonks and Harry looked extremely confused. “What?” Harry asked.

“I was about to ask Tonks if she’d give me a tattoo.”

Tonks’ eyes widened. “Sirius, I barely trusted myself to do one on ME, are you sure you even want to ask-“

“Yes.” Sirius stated. “I’m one hundred percent sure. Would you?”

Sirius swore he’d never seen her smile that widely. “I would be honoured to, Mr Lupin-Black.”

Sirius could’ve broken at those words, but Harry was next to him, so he just smiled softly and whispered “Let’s do it.”

—————————————————-

Half an hour later, Tonks apparated back with her equipment. “So, do you know what you want?”

Sirius nodded. “Yep. I know exactly.”

“It’s brilliant,” Harry added, having just discussed it with Sirius while Tonks was away.

Sirius told her what he wanted and she almost cried. “That’s so beautiful, Sirius, thank you for letting me do it.”

“Can I have it on my forearm? Like where you have yours?”

She sighed happily. “That’d be great, actually. At least I know I can do them there.”

Sirius could see how nervous she looked, so he pointed at the tiny man swinging on her forearm. “Tonks, you can do it. You’re amazing at it! Don’t stress. And if it fucks up, have you SEEN the tattoos all over my chest? It cannot POSSIBLY be worse than them. I literally did them with a knife in the dark.” She laughed, clearly put at ease. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

——————————————————

Some two hours later, Tonks pulled back from leaning over Sirius and tapped the tattoo with her wand, whispering an incantation that Sirius didn’t recognise. The tattoo instantly came to life.

He tried to stop himself, he really did, but one look at his arm and he burst into tears. Above Sirius’ main tattoo, three tiny letters adorned Sirius’ inner elbow: HJP. Harry didn’t know Sirius was going to be getting that part of the tattoo, and upon seeing it, the boy hugged Sirius so tightly that he could barely breathe.

“Thank you, Sirius, I’ve never had family, and it’s like, you know, and I just, I-“

“Harry, calm down, I’m your family, okay? Neither of us have our birth families, but we have each other and that’s what matters right now, okay?”

“Okay.” Harry nodded subtly. “Thanks, Sirius.”

Sirius smiled at Harry and looked back down at his arm. “You think he’ll like it?”

“He’ll love it,” Harry and Tonks said in unison.

On Sirius’ forearm was a circular tattoo that changed with the phases of the moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for being patient with the uploads, I'm on holiday at the moment and I know my chapters have been sub-par recently but I'm back in the swing of it all now!
> 
> Much love,  
> Gabby xx


	27. PSA

Hi guys,   
due to some awful shit in my personal life I can't post the next chapter tonight.  
I'll have it up tomorrow or the day after.  
Please don't give up and subscribe and keep reading.

Thank you for being the best readers I could ever ask for x


	28. Remus: Tattoos, Pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus gets back, and gets inked by Tonks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of fluff for you all. Thanks for being so patient with my updates.

Remus was unbelievably relieved to be returning to Grimmauld Place. His mission the past five days had been… gruelling, to say the least. It turned out that Dumbledore did believe werewolves could be more than spies and could fight death eaters! Well, that or he was simply short on manpower. Remus liked to try and believe the first one.

Remus had duelled Wilkes, the death eater that Caradoc Dearborn had so gracefully castrated all those years ago, and Dolohov, who Remus once witnessed be taken down by Dorcas of all people. Dorcas was defending Marlene, to be fair. This was to Remus’ advantage, clearly, because Dolohov had the pink tinge of embarrassment adorning his cheeks while he threw curses at Remus. Remus thought, now, that it was odd that he’d noticed that. Amusement for amusements sake, perhaps.

But that was then, and this was now. He was standing in front of 12 Grimmauld Place ready to see Sirius again. That’s what got him through, these days, through the full moons with the pack, through the missions. Sirius kept Remus’ head on straight. And he was bloody excited to see him.

Upon opening the door, Walburga’s screaming wasn’t the only noise coming from inside the house.

Remus walked forward and found that the kitchen was bustling with guests. Sirius was holed up with Tonks of all people in the corner, whispering happily about something.

Damn it. Remus had wanted a quiet night with Sirius, maybe with the kids, too, or even a dinner, but definitely not this. All of the kids were back for the holidays after Arthur’s attack, which Remus only heard about as he was about to leave. He tried to stay, but ‘You are needed elsewhere, Remus. You can’t help here’ was Dumbledore’s response when Remus suggested that he delay the mission until they knew more.

“Professor Lupin!” Hermione cried, snapping Remus out of his daze. “You’re back!”

Remus smiled and put down his rucksack. “Yes, finally.”

“Oi, Sirius!” Ron called from Hermione’s side, alerting the black haired man to Remus’ presence.

“Remus!” Sirius all but shouted as he pushed himself through the crowd and embraced Remus with as much passion as he had that day in the shack. They both noticed Molly staring at them from the other side of the kitchen with an uncomfortable look on her face. As soon as they made eye contact with her the look turned into a forced smile, which was comforting. Well, the smile was comforting, Remus could’ve done without the ‘forced’.

“I missed you,” Sirius murmured into Remus’ neck. “So much.”

“I missed you too, Pads,” Remus said, kissing Sirius’ forehead as the other man pulled away. “What’s going on around here?”

“It’s everyone’s first time seeing Arthur after the attack. Everyone wanted to see if he was okay, so they brought food and stayed, naturally.”

“Naturally,” Remus rolled his eyes.

“You alright?” Sirius asked, sensing Remus’ discomfort.

“Yeah,” Remus sighed, “it’s just been a long few days. Wanted time with you and the kids.”

Sirius nodded and smiled softly. “I can get rid of everyone, if you want.”

Remus shook his head. “No, don’t. But talk later, yeah?”

“Of course,” Sirius said, grabbing Remus’ hand. “Now come on. Fred and George tried to make a cake.”

———————————————————————

“Remus!”

An enthusiastic voice came from behind Remus as he stood alone in the corner. He wanted some space after the crowded few days he had, but Tonks’ was clearly up for conversation.

“Tonks, hi! How are you?”

“Great, yeah, but I actually wanted to ask you something.”  
Remus cocked his head. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. So I got a tattoo,” she paused to roll up her sleeve, “and I was wondering if you’d ever thought of getting one.”

“Gods Tonks! That’s incredible! Did you do it yourself?”

“Yeah,” she blushed. “And if you’d like, I can give you one too. All my stuff’s here. I did some last night.”  
“Who on earth got a tattoo?” Remus asked with wide eyes. It would obviously be Sirius, but why hadn’t he told him?

“I gave one to Fred and George. You can’t tell Molly, I swear, she’ll kill me, and-“

Remus laughed. “Relax, Dora, I’m not going to tell anyone. Can I see them?”

Remus asked if he could see the tattoos because he thought it was safer to allow Tonks to permanently mark his body once he’d seen evidence that it wouldn’t be a total mistake.

“Don’t you trust me?” Tonks asked sadly.

Remus panicked. “No, it’s not that, I just-“

Tonks burst out laughing. “Relax, Rem, I wouldn’t trust me either. Oi! Numb nuts!” She yelled across the room. Fred and George looked up immediately. “Over here!”

The boys put down their slices of (surprisingly, not that bad) cake and made their way over to Remus. “Professor Lupin!” They said in unison. “Great to see you. Kill anyone?” Fred asked happily.

“Jesus, Fred! Ask more subtly next time! Like ‘Wonderful to see you! Did you take anyone’s life? And if you did please tell me if was violent and many death eaters will be scarred for life?’” George corrected.

“You two are awful,” Sirius said, appearing next to Remus.   
“Thank you,” Fred said, putting his hand over his heart as if Sirius had just given the twins a heartfelt compliment. Sirius just rolled his eyes.

Remus cleared his throat. “So, you were saying you got a tattoo?” He said to the twins, but he didn’t miss the panicked look in Sirius’ eyes. He ignored it.

“Shhh!” The twins hushed. “If mother finds out, she’ll have our necks! And probably Tonks’ too!”

“Sorry,” Remus whispered. “Show me!”

“Don’t get a big head about this,” Fred warned as he pulled down the collar of his shirt.

“Why would I get a big head about this?”  
“Sirius sure as hell did,” George muttered. “But we would’ve gotten these EVEN IF we didn’t know you made the map! This was in honour of great mischief making, not two poofs!”  
Remus laughed. He could tell that George meant no malice when he said ‘poofs’, and something about that was comforting.

“Alright, let’s see them,” Remus asked, slightly concerned. The map was mischief enough, but tattoos about the map? Horrifying.

Fred pulled down his shirt below his right collarbone, and the words ‘I solemnly swear I am up to no good’ were in small text, surrounded by footsteps like those on the map walking around the black ink.

“Fucking wicked,” Remus said, catching himself sounding like Sirius.

“Right?! Wait till you see George’s!”

George pulled down his shirt below his left collarbone and exposed the words ‘mischief managed’, with the same footsteps surrounding the text.

“Guys, that’s…” Remus trailed off. “I love them.”

“Yeah,” the twins said in unison. “So do we.”

The night carried on without any mention of tattoos before Tonks showed up again, catching Remus alone.   
“So? Do you want a tattoo?”

Remus considered this, because yes, of course he did, he always had and he next exactly what he wanted, but also, it was Tonks, who literally JUST smashed a teacup. But then, he realised, she had tattooed the boys and they had turned out amazing, so his mind was made up.

“Yeah, actually. I do.”

Her face lit up. “Great! Shall we go upstairs?”

Remus’ eyes widened. “What, now?!”

“Yes, now! I have to take all my stuff back to my flat tomorrow and I may as well do it now, I’ve had a lot of practice the past 24 hours, and mine turned out quite well, in my opinion.”

“No, Tonks, don’t get me wrong, it definitely did, but I only just decided-“

Tonks sighed. “Remus. Now or never.”

Remus put down his (it was worse the more you ate of it) cake and resigned himself to the fact he was about to be inked permanently. “Then I guess it’s now.”

————————————————————

Tonks was prepping her materials when Remus said “Should I grab Sirius?”

“No!” She answered, far too quickly. “I mean, no,” she repeated, slowly, “this should be a surprise.”

“Do you think he’ll like it? Is it too cheesy?”

Tonks beamed. “It’s definitely too cheesy. And he’ll love it.”

Remus was secretly glad that Tonks hadn’t just used the tattoo as a pretence for getting Remus in a room alone, so he was pretty much willing to do whatever it took to keep the conversation away from their fleeting mutual attraction and far away from her crush on him.

“Alright. Where are we doing this?”

Remus had scars all over his body, but the worst was a bite mark on his hip.

“Over the bite mark.”

Tonks looked skeptical. “Are you sure? It might hurt a bit more on scar tissue.”

Remus laughed. “Then it’d hurt everywhere. Yep. I’m sure.”

———————————————————

“Finally,” Sirius sighed, closing the door behind Remus and himself as they entered their bedroom.

“Long, long night,” Remus yawned.

Remus noticed Sirius was staring at him dirtily and rolled his eyes. “Really? You’re that insatiable?”

“Oh darling, I’m more insatiable that you could ever imagine.”

They wound up on the bed, kissing passionately, when Sirius’ hand wandered to the waistband of Remus’ pants and Remus yelped in pain at the pressure on his very new tattoo.

“Fuck, Moony, are you okay?”

Remus nodded. “Yeah, I just…”

Sirius looked extremely concerned. “Did something happen?”  
“Tonks gave me a tattoo.”

“Really?!” Sirius sat up. “Why didn’t you tell me!”

“I wanted it to be a surprise.” Sirius smirked. “What?!”

“I wanted mine to be a surprise too.”

Remus didn’t know what to say, so he settled on “Alright then. You first.”

“Why me?!”   
“Because you fingered my wound!”

Sirius cackled and threw up a silencing charm that they really should’ve thrown up prior to the heated making out.

“Fine, but you have to promise not to laugh.”

“I solemnly swear.” Sirius glared at that. “No, seriously, I won’t laugh. Just show me.”

There was a glint of something unfamiliar in Sirius’ eyes and it took the time it took Sirius to get his clothes off for Remus to recognise what the look was. It was nerves. Sirius Black was nervous.

“Baby, you don’t have to be nervous, it’s just me.”

Sirius snapped his head up. “I’m not nervous!” Remus raised an eyebrow. “Fine, I’m nervous. I just don’t want you to hate it.”

“I won’t hate it.”

“You don’t know that!”

“Just show me!”

“FINE!” Sirius cried and thrust out his forearm.

A tattoo of the moon, in its current phase, was glittering on Sirius’ forearm. Remus was quiet for a very long time.  
“You hate it.”

“No, baby… how did you know that was the phase it would be tonight?”

Sirius blushed. “It changes. With the phases of the moon. ‘Cause you’re my Moony,” Sirius added nervously.

Remus embraced his boyfriend in the tightest hug. “You’re magnificent.”

“You like it, then?”

Remus wiped an escaping tear from his eye. “I love it. And I love you.”

“Can I see yours?”

Remus had almost forgotten about his own tattoo what with all of the adoration he was feeling for Sirius right now, but he lifted up his shirt and turned to show Sirius his hip.

Sirius immediately burst into tears. Shit.  
“Pads? I thought you’d like it! I’m sure I can find a way too get rid of it, I just-“

“No, I- I- I love it, I j-just didn’t think anyone would ever l-love me enough t-to get a t-tattoo like that, and-“

“Baby, you’re rambling,” Remus said, stroking Sirius’ cheek. “And I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

Sirius reached out and Remus felt his fingertips brush over the tattoo as it moved around.

The Canis Major was adorning his hip, covering the bite mark that he was so ashamed of with something that reminded him of the person of whom he was so proud. The constellation ran around his hip like the dog(star) that it surrounded, and ‘Sirius’ shone brightly from above his waistband.

They lay in each others arms for a while, until Sirius had stopped crying (Remus had called him a girl and Sirius’ tear ducts closed immediately) before Sirius spoke up.

“Moony?”

“Padfoot?”  
“Can we get married soon?”

Remus had been thinking the exact same thing.

“Next Summer?”

“That’s ages!”

“Don’t you want Harry there?”

Sirius paused to consider this, before nodding. “Next Summer. But I’ll be worse than Lily in wedding-planning mode everyday until then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys,  
> I know where this story is going, but I was wondering if you guys had any hopes for what's going to happen?   
> Give me your predictions on what's coming up!
> 
> Gabby xxx


	29. Sirius: The Battle of The Department of Mysteries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SIRIUS BLACK IS NOT DEAD. I REPEAT, SIRIUS BLACK IS NOT DEAD.
> 
> EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT.
> 
> I'm still sorry
> 
> (Some dialogue in this chapter has been taken directly out of the books, which all belong to JKR, don't copyright me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS I'M POSTING THE NEXT CHAPTER SOON, YOU WON'T HAVE TO WAIT LONG I PROMISE

SIX MONTHS LATER

Sirius woke up that morning feeling genuinely happy. His plans for the day were non-existent, and Remus was also off-duty. They had the entire day to spend together, wrapped up in each others arms and just talking, because no matter how long they spent together, they never ran out of things to say.

Sirius had taken a very satisfying afternoon nap before he was awoken by a light kiss.

“Morning, sweetheart,” Remus whispered, stroking a strand of hair out of Sirius’ eyes.

“Hmm, morning,” Sirius mumbled, still half asleep. “Whattimeisit?” He slurred.

“It’s just gone six.”

Sirius darted up. “I said I’d help you make dinner!”

Remus laughed. “It’s okay. I made it myself. It was nice to cook without Molly’s help for once. Really,” Remus emphasised, reacting to Sirius’ suspicious gaze.

“Alright then,” Sirius yawned. “What are we eating?”

“It’ll be ready in an hour. Get dressed, and then you can find out.”

Sirius did get dressed, properly, in clothes he usually wouldn’t bother with when he was just alone with Remus. He headed downstairs and looked into the kitchen. It was beautiful. Remus had lit the whole room by candlelight, and two glasses of wine were on the table, accompanied by two mental cloches.

“It’s just like the muggle movies!” Sirius couldn’t help gasping. It was just what he wanted. “You didn’t have to do this, you know.”

“I know,” Remus shrugged. “But I wanted too,” he smiled.

With that, they tucked into the pasta that Remus had prepared, which was genuinely delicious, and Sirius planned to pay Remus back in a very adult way later that night, and everything was very lovely. The kids were safe, the prophecy was guarded, and Remus was opposite him, smiling over his dinner.

Everything was lovely, until the front door opened.

The door banged open and Walburga commenced her shrieking, which was silenced immediately. Tonks burst into the room.

“Oh- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt-“

“Tonks, couldn’t this wait until later?” Sirius asked, irritated.

She was clearly out of breath as she leaned against the wall. “No. It couldn’t.”

A flurry of people piled through the door after her, someone switching on the lights. Sirius squinted his eyes, wondering what on earth was so important.

As Kingsley, Emmeline, Moody, Hestia, and… Sirius could barely see, so many people had burst into the room. And none of them had said hello, either. They were all studying parchment or whispering worriedly. Sirius finally became fed up.

“What the hell is going on?”

“Sirius,” Tonks said, resurfacing from the crowd. “It’s Harry.”

Suddenly, dinner wasn’t so important anymore.

“What the fuck happened?!” Sirius said, standing up immediately. “What’s going on?!” Sirius vaguely registered Remus standing up as well and grabbing his hand.

“The kids thought it was a good idea to break into the Ministry.”

“They WHAT?!” Sirius said, looking wide-eyed at Moody.  
“They broke into the Ministry, Black. Specifically into the Department of Mysteries,” Moody said, straight-faced, but Sirius could tell the man was shaken. “Idiots.”

“I’m sure they had a reason,” Remus reassured Sirius, before turning to Moody. “They’re not idiots, Moody. Now who’s there?”

“Potter, Weasley and Granger, obviously, Lovegood, the Weasley girl and the Longbottom kid.”  
Sirius found that Harry having company was both comforting and so much worse. Sure, they could defend him, but now six people’s lives were in danger, and it was far more difficult to rescue six people than one. Because that’s what they would be doing, he decided. They’d be rescuing them.

Kingsley must have disapparated at some point, because he appeared with a ‘pop’ in the kitchen and looked around the room. “Death Eaters are there. Voldemort’s inner circle. The kids have the prophecy, the charms show that it was taken, and the death eaters don’t have it yet, but I can’t imagine it will be long before they do.”

“Well, what are we all standing around here for?!” Sirius cried. “Let’s fucking go!”  
“Oh no you don’t Black. You’re not coming. No way,” Moody said sternly, taking a step towards Sirius.

“Like FUCK I’m not going! Harry Potter is MY godson, I was entrusted with his LIFE before James and Lily died. This is MY responsibility, so if you don’t bring me with you, I’ll find a way there myself!”

Moody looked to Remus for support, but was greeted with the opposite. “Sirius comes. It’s what James and Lily wanted. It’s what they would’ve done. Sirius is nothing if not loyal.”

Moody looked unbelievably frustrated for a few moments before he threw his hands in the air. “Fine! Fine. But it’s not my problem if you get carted off to Azkaban again!”

“Alastor!” Kingsley reprimanded.

“WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!” Remus yelled. Sirius almost jumped at his uncharacteristic volume. “How do we get there and who’s coming?”

“Only five of us are trained for this sort of thing. So Tonks, Kingsley, Lupin, Black, and me. We apparate, and we apparate now.”

Before Sirius knew it he was spinning, and then he was standing, a wanted man, in the foyer of the Ministry of Magic.

——————————————————————

“ALRIGHT!” Moody boomed. “Department of Mysteries. We have next to no time, so here’s how it’s going to go.”

“What’s the battle plan?” Tonks asked quickly.

“The battle plan is that there is no battle plan. We get the kids out of there before anything else,” Kingsley stepped up.

“But the prophecy-“

“With all due respect Alastor, the lives of these children are more important than the prophecy. Reclaim the prophecy, stop the death eaters getting it, but only once all of the children are safe. I would sooner see it in the hands of Voldemort than see any of these children die. Got it?” Kingsley asked boldly.

“Got it,” grumbled Moody, accepting defeat.

As they ran towards the elevators, Sirius realised that Harry was, yet again, right where Voldemort wanted him. He was manipulated, just like he had been the last time. Sirius didn’t know how Voldemort did it, but he’d be damned if Harry had to see someone else die. Unless it was a death eater. That, Sirius would be fine with.

They reached the floor of the Department of Mysteries and ran past the offices of the Unspeakables, almost tumbling through the door into the Hall of Prophecies.

“Don’t check if it’s there! We know it isn’t! Just keep running until you get to the end door!” Remus yelled as he grabbed Sirius’ hand and pulled him up to speed.

“I can’t lose him,” Sirius panted as he rushed past aisle after aisle.

“You won’t. I promise you won’t,” Remus assured him.

A voice echoed through the hall. “I know Sirius is here. I know you’ve got him.”

Harry. The voice was Harry. Voldemort had used Sirius to lure Harry here? This was Sirius’ fault?

“It’s time you learn the difference between life and dreams, Potter. Now give me the prophecy.” Lucius Malfoy, Sirius would know the voice anywhere.

“Yeah, right! I give you this - prophecy, is it? And you’ll just let us skip off home, will you?” In another circumstance, Sirius would’ve laughed. Sarcasm at a time like this. Harry was so much like James.

Lucius said something else as Sirius ran towards the open door at the end of the Hall of Prophecies. Sirius watched as the blonde haired man raised his wand to Harry’s chest. Harry slowly began to pass the prophecy to Lucius.

Then Tonks made a move. She jumped into the chamber that Sirius only recognised from description, and she fired a formidable stunning spell at Malfoy. Sirius couldn’t help but freeze, wide-eyed, as complete commotion broke out in the legendary Chamber of Death.

What happened next was all a blur. There were spells flying everywhere, and Sirius was ducking under streams of light while firing curses at any death eater in sight. Sirius noticed Harry and Neville grab the prophecy and head for a corner, but Dolohov seemed to have noticed too. Harry was too quick for the man, and hit him will a full body bind curse, filling Sirius with pride.

Then, just as it seemed they might all escape alive, a familiar cackle echoed through the chamber.  
“My ickle-Sirikins! Oh, cousin, I’ve missed you so much. I’m so glad you could join us here today,” Bellatrix shrieked.

“Oh Bella, do you always have to ruin everything?” Sirius asked sarcastically as he threw a lazy stunner spell at her, which she blocked easily.

“Didn’t you miss me?” Bellatrix said, punctuating each word with a curse thrown at Sirius. He blocked them all effortlessly and let himself laugh.

“The death eater! Can’t even curse the outcast, disowned, disinherited, gay, on-the-run cousin! Have you gone soft, Bella?”

“Have I gone soft?!” she shrieked. She was still throwing curses at Sirius and he was still blocking every one.

“Has fucking Voldemort not gotten you all the power you wanted?” Sirius asked. It was a guess, of course, but it seemed to hit her deep.

“Oh Godric, you have been! Rodolphus!” Sirius cried, looking back at Lestrange briefly between blocking curses. “Your wife is fucking Voldemort! This is brilliant. This is bloody brilliant! You haven’t gone soft, Bella, you’re in love with a snake!”

“You think I’ve gone soft, Sirius?” She asked, strangely calmly. “I’ll show you soft.”

“CRUCIO!” She screamed. Sirius felt the pain wash over him as he staggered back. He used to know how to handle this, but it had been a long time since he’d been cursed. He staggered back again.

Apparently, he had taken one step too far.

—————————————————————

If he had to describe the feeling, he would say it felt much like sinking into water, except he could still breathe.  
If he had to describe the sound, it was the faint screaming of Harry and Remus.

If he had to describe his surroundings, he would say he was on Platform 9 3/4.

He sat down. Was he dead? Is this what death was? Because he didn’t _feel_ dead. He felt the same. Was this the heaven that muggles talked about?

It was strange to see the station without all of the people. Hell, it was strange to see the station without a train, he thought, as he looked at the wall where the barrier was.

He looked back at the tracks and saw… a train. He blinked again. That train definitely wasn’t there a moment ago.

Was he meant to get on?

He didn’t really know. He wasn’t particularly trained in the goings on of the afterlife. Fuck, this was the afterlife. What about Harry? And, oh my, what about _Remus_? He blinked again, and the train was still there. He couldn’t feel sadness, strangely, and getting on a train when you don’t know where it’s going seems like a terrible idea.

“Don’t you love terrible ideas?”

He must have said that out loud. James always heard-  
No.

Surely not.

“Sirius?”

“Lily?” Sirius croaked out. “James?

“Hi, brother,” James said quietly from the door of the train, Lily smiling at his side.

Sirius said the only thing he could think to say. “Where am I?”

“Come. Sit.” Lily waved Sirius over. He didn’t have to think twice before going to them. It was all he’d wanted for fourteen years.

“What’s going on?”

James smiled and swung an arm over Sirius’ shoulder. “We don’t have much time. But we’ll do our best to explain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH


	30. Remus: After The Veil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters today because i think we need a bit of fluff.
> 
> Sirius WILL be returning I promise

Sirius. Sirius was dead.  
Remus watched as the body of his one true love floated up towards the veil. He held Harry back, because he had to, he was an adult, and he was the only part left of Sirius that could still protect Harry. He held back tears, because he had to, he had to be strong for Sirius, Sirius who was… gone.  
Harry broke free. He broke free and ran after Bellatrix as she chanted “I killed Sirius Black!” And GOD did Remus want to kill her for it. He hoped that Harry didn’t kill her. Not for her sake, of course, but for the strain that it would put on such a young mind.

Eventually, people from the Ministry arrived. The death eaters had gotten away, but Tonks had woken up from being knocked unconscious and Moody had recovered and had healed a large cut from a curse thrown at Kingsley’s torso. Most importantly, Moody had taken precisely one hour to get an official pardon for Sirius Black.  
It didn’t matter now, though, did it? Sirius was gone. And Remus had nothing. Without Sirius, Remus was nothing.  
People filtered out, all shaking with the confirmation that Voldemort was, indeed, back, just as Harry had claimed all along. Remus watched as people filtered out until the only ones left in the Chamber were Tonks, Moody, Kingsley and himself. The Ministry didn’t have the heart to kick them out, Remus suspected, and the Unspeakables probably knew that if even if they tried, the four of them wouldn’t listen. It was completely quiet in the Chamber. You could probably hear a pin drop, as the muggles say. It was quiet until a large thud boomed through the chamber.

Sirius’ body had fallen back out of the veil.

Remus rushed over to Sirius, moving quicker than he had in his entire life. He shed a tear as he saw Sirius’ chest rise and fall and heard breath release through his mouth. Remus put his fingers to Sirius’ wrist and felt a steady pulse.  
“He’s alive,” Remus said. Everyone else rushed over to him, muttering that it was only wishful thinking, before they saw it for themselves. Sirius Black was alive.  
They all tried to shake him awake. But there was no waking him. All they could do was watch, as Sirius seemed to sleep front of them. It was quiet again, before a voice whispered from the veil.  
“He’s okay, we promise.”  
It was Lily.  
“And he’ll be back soon.”  
James.  
“We just need to look after him for a bit.”  
Marlene.  
“I’ll heal him, and then he’ll wake up, he’ll be back soon.”  
Dorcas.  
“We miss you.”  
James.  
“And we love you, Remus.”  
Lily.  
“Take him to Mungo’s.”  
Marlene.  
“Tell them he’s in limbo, between life and death, but we’re sending him back. He’ll be back soon.”  
Dorcas.  
“We miss you. We love you.”  
All four of them.

Remus promptly passed out.

————————————————

When he woke up, Remus was in a white room, in a bed he didn’t recognise. There were potions on the table on the opposite side of the room, and Tonks was fast asleep in an arm chair next to it.  
There was whispers from outside the room, and Remus briefly caught the words ‘Sirius’ and ‘limbo’ and ‘innocent’. Everything that he’d heard from the veil rushed back to him.  
It wasn’t real, Remus decided. Because it couldn’t be. Because limbo wasn’t real, and if it was, no one could come back from it. Sirius was gone. Just because his body was there, doesn’t mean that his mind was. It didn’t mean that his… soul was. And a body without a soul is just a body. Remus didn’t want a body. He wanted his Sirius, his Sirius who laughed and cried and fit perfectly in his arms. The voices were inside his head, and they were teasing him. It must have been some kind of curse. The others didn’t hear them.  
Or did they?  
Remus never actually found out, because he’d fainted. Tonks. Tonks! He could just ask Tonks.  
“Tonks!” Remus whispered so as not to alert the nurses. “Tonks!” He said, slightly louder.  
“Mmwhatsgoingaowngd?” She mumbled. “Oh!” She said, coming to her senses. “You’re awake! That’s great, Rem, I’m so glad you’re-“  
“Did you hear the voices?” Remus asked, having no time for pleasantries.  
Tonks threw up a silencing charm and locked the door, dragging her chair next to Remus’ bed. “Yes.”  
Remus grinned. “So that means-“  
“But you can’t tell anyone.”  
Remus looked at her quizzically. “But they heard it?”  
Tonks shook her head. “No, they didn’t. You missed what Lily said at the end.”  
“She said something else and I missed it?” Remus said, his bottom lip quivering.  
“It’s okay, Remus,” Tonks smiled. “I can just tell you.”  
“Oh,” Remus considered. “Right.”  
“She said ‘Remus and Tonks, please look out for him. You’re the only members of Sirius’ family here, so you’re the only ones who can hear me. Only blood relatives should be able to hear us, but Remus, you’re almost married. I suspect our Harry could hear us too. Do not leave his body unsupervised. Always have a member of The Order, a trusted member, with Sirius’ body at all times. Any tampering could interfere with his soul. We have his soul, he’s safe here, and we have to get it back inside of his body. We can do it, just make sure no one knows that he’s technically alive. The death eaters CANNOT find out. They WILL come for him. He needs to be guarded as you guarded the prophecy.’ And James said ‘And don’t worry about no one believing you. Sirius says there are books in the Black family library about limbo. He can’t talk to you because his physical body is still alive, but he says that he loves you both and he’ll be back as soon as possible. We don’t have much time. Protect my brother.’”  
Remus almost passed out again. “So… he’s coming back?”  
Tonks smiled, a tear rolling down her cheek. “He’s coming back.”  
“Any other news? How long have I been out, by the way?” Remus was guessing a couple of hours, for the record.  
“A little over a week.”  
“A WEEK?!”  
“Shut up! And yes, there is other news.”  
“Okay, tell me,” Remus said as he tried to sit up in his bed. He immediately regretted it. He felt worse than he usually did after transformations alone.  
“Yeah, the death chamber is pretty damaging to the body. I’m almost high on pain potions and so are the others, but you haven’t slept, so you must be in a lot of pain. Here,” she said, passing Remus a purple vial. “Drink.”  
Remus downed the whole vial in one go and felt the pain subside. “Oh, that’s good. Anyway, the news, please?”  
Tonks nodded. “Sure.”

“So, the kids. They’re on pain potions too, and they went back to school. Neville’s feeling pretty chuffed about fighting, Ron was attacked by some brains…. There are a couple more things like that, but basically they’re all okay.”  
“So they know about Sirius?”  
Tonks smiled. “Harry does. And Ron and Hermione, but the others don’t know. And they cannot know. Only members of the Order and the Mungo’s staff and the Ministry members who were there that night know. We’d like to keep it that way.”  
Remus nodded. “Fair. What else has happened?”  
Tonks paused to consider. “Well, there’s a Sirius-watch schedule now. An Order member with his body at all times. They all believed me straight away, weirdly. Guess they saw that you fainted and assumed that something happened that shocked you quite a lot.”  
“Understatement,” Remus muttered.  
“What?”  
“Nothing. Continue,” Remus smiled.  
“Well, Voldemort is still at large. The prophecy was actually destroyed-“ Remus gasped, “I know, right? Neville dropped it. Probably for the best. We all know what it says anyway. Um, I guess Dumbledore’s back as Headmaster, so that’s good, and Fred and George dropped out of Hogwarts to start a joke shop, they got a place in Diagon Alley. They left a swamp and Umbridge can’t figure out how to get rid of it. It’s brilliant.”  
“How on earth did they have enough money to get a place in Diagon Alley?”  
“Harry gave them his triwizard tournament earnings.” Tonks slapped her hand over her mouth. “Shit. I wasn’t meant to tell anyone.”  
Remus chuckled. “I won’t tell. Anything else?”  
Tonks paused again. “Uh, nothing of much importance. Your cactus at Grimmauld Place died - I didn’t even know that was possible, by the way - I’m pretty sure Ginny has a new boyfriend, I’m pregnant-“  
“YOU’RE FUCKING WHAT?!”  
“I’m pregnant,” Tonks said, nonchalantly.  
“WHAT- WHO- HOW- TONKS!” Remus yelled.  
“Jeez, I’m glad I put up that silencing charm,” she said twirling her wand.  
“How far along are you? Who’s the father? What’s going to happen? What are you going to do?!” Remus said, exasperatedly. He was more panicked than she was.  
“Godric, one question at a time. I’m like 6 weeks alone, there’s plenty of time. The father is this muggle guy I was seeing. Told him I was a witch, he struggled with that a lot, then told him I was pregnant?” She threw her hands up in the air for effect, “he ran for the hills!”  
“Tonks, I’m so sorry,” Remus said, and he meant it. What kind of man abandons a pregnant woman and his child?  
“Nah,” she waved him off. “I’ll be better at this pregnancy thing alone anyway. I’m already hormonal and I get pissed off easily.”  
“Sure that’s not just you as a person?” Remus smirked.  
Tonks grinned. “Shut it. Now, don’t tell anyone, only the guy and Fleur know.”  
“Fleur?” Remus questioned. He didn’t even realise that they knew each other.  
“Yeah, Fleur. We’ve become quite good friends. Just don’t tell anyone, kay? I thought maybe Sirius could’ve helped me, be like a dad to the kid… Idon’t know,” Tonks said, suddenly becoming very emotional. “See! Bloody pregnancy! I cried at a man juggling on the street when he dropped his ball!”  
“Tonks, I think this is more than pregnancy. You don’t want to do this alone.” She muttered something under her breath. “What was that?”  
“Okay maybe I don’t,” she rushed, hanging her head.  
Remus thought for a moment about how much he’d wanted a kid when James and Lily had Harry, and about how destroyed he was that he couldn’t have one, and about how jealous he got when Sirius would parent Harry…  
“I’ll do it.”  
Tonks looked up, perplexed. “You’ll do what?”  
“I’ll be… like a father. Not a father, but like one.”  
Tonks smiled and waved him off. “You don’t have to do that, Rem.”  
“I want to.” Remus said, and he found himself sincerely meaning it.  
“Take some time to think about it, I don’t want to get invested in the idea and then you back out,” Tonks frowned.  
“I don’t need time. I’ve always wanted a kid. Sure, you’re far too young for me, but I can still be a dad, right?”  
Tonks beamed, light radiating from her eyes. “Yes, you can. You’ll be amazing.”  
“And Sirius?”  
“My kid can have two dads. My kid WILL have two dads.”  
“Tonks?”  
“Yeah, Remus?”“Come here.”  
They embraced each other tight. It was just what they needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked these chapters
> 
> xoxo Gabby


	31. Sirius: The Afterlife, Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius ventures out of limbo with James and Lily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Help required! The next fic is Half-Blood Prince Era, except it's majorly canon-divergent because Sirius is there.  
> I'm thinking of naming it:  
> Merlin, These Boys are Idiots 5: Half-Blood Prince but Black is Back
> 
> Sounds a bit wordy, right?  
> Suggestions in the comments please!

Sirius was sat in a train compartment facing Lily and James.  
Given that fact, he concluded that he was dead.  
“So, I’m dead. What happens now?”  
Lily smiled and shook her head. “You’re not dead, Sirius.”  
He stared blankly at her.   
“Well, you’re not alive either, if that helps,” James added, earning a smack on the arm from Lily.  
“Well you two haven’t changed,” Sirius said, grinning.  
Then everything hit him, all at once.  
“Harry,” Sirius croaked out. “Remus!”  
“Shhh, Sirius, it’s okay,” Lily said, grabbing Sirius’ hand.   
He yanked his hand away. “It’s not okay! I can’t leave Harry! And Remus! I can’t leave them! I’m not-“  
“Ready?” James finished. “Good, mate, because we aren’t ready for you to leave them either. They need you.”  
“But I don’t want to leave you two either.”  
James smiled a wise smile, a smile so unlike the one that he had all those years ago. “We’ll still be here, Sirius. Well, not here, here, but you’ll see us again. You’ll have eternity with us, one day-“  
“Wait, you’ve been together for eternity?”  
“Well, fourteen years-“  
“How have you not killed each other yet?!” Sirius blurted out.   
They both laughed. “It’s a mystery. We aren’t alone, though.”  
“But we’re alone here,” Sirius said, puzzled.  
“This isn’t death, Sirius. We’re dead. You’re not.”  
Sirius was unbelievably confused. “Sorry, what?”“We’re on a visit of sorts. This-“ James gestured around him, “is called limbo. It’s the-“  
“Place between life and death,” Sirius breathed out, picturing the dark books from his family’s library.  
“Exactly,” Lily said. “We can come here whenever we want. Everyone has their own limbo, that’s why you’re alone here.”  
“But we’re Marauders, Padfoot. We don’t leave each other alone.”  
Sirius looked at James as he said that and allowed a tear to escape from his eye. “I missed you both so much.”  
“Us too, Sirius. But we don’t actually have much time.”  
“We don’t?” Sirius asked.  
Lily shook her head. “No. And we were only allowed to come here under the condition that we’d tell you what lies ahead. On BOTH sides of living.”  
“Well, I have to go back. So you don’t need to tell me.”  
“Trust me, Padfoot, I don’t want to, but rules are rules, and I’ve grown quite comfortable in the afterlife and I don’t plan on being chucked into limbo for eternity, so I’ll tell you.”  
“We’ll show you,” Lily corrected, grabbing her husband’s hand. “But first we’ll need to take a train.”

—————————————————————

They passed a stretch of the countryside on the train. Sirius had hoped, every night since Halloween of 1981, that he would be able to see James and Lily again. But now that he was next to them, he had no idea what to say.  
“How’s Harry?” James asked quietly. “I figured I’d have to ask at some point.”  
Sirius looked away from the window. “He’s brilliant. He’s the best kid I’ve met. He has these two friends, Ron and Hermione, and Ron’s the Prewett’s sister’s kid actually, funny that, and he’s smart and he’s funny and he always knows what to do and-“  
“Sirius,” Lily smiled, “you’re rambling.”  
“Sorry. So much has happened, I just don’t know where to start.”  
“How about you start before Hogwarts.”  
They didn’t know, Sirius realised. About any of it. About Azkaban, about Petunia taking the kid. They knew nothing. “There’s a lot.”  
James shrugged. “We’ve got time.”  
“I went to Azkaban for twelve years.”  
“YOU WHAT?!” James cried. “WHAT?!”  
Sirius looked down, unable to make eye contact while telling them how he failed their child. “I went to Azkaban because Peter faked his death and framed me for his murder after he betrayed you. Dumbledore wouldn’t let me take Harry, he made me give him to Rubeus to grow up with Petunia.”  
Lily frowned. “That’s a right shame.”  
“A right shame?! I hated that bitc-“  
“James,” Lily warned. He mouthed ‘sorry’ and nodded for Sirius to continue.  
“I’d rather not talk about Azkaban. It was horrible. The worst thing ever, after losing you. But I broke out. Padfoot broke out, more like, and I found Harry. We found out Peter had been living as Ron - the Prewett’s nephew - living as his pet rat. So Remus and I found him-“  
“How did you find Remus?”  
“Oh! Lily! You’ll love this. Remus was a Professor! A Professor of Defence Against The Dark Arts!”  
“That’s wonderful!” Lily cried. “That’s just wonderful.”  
“So I broke into Hogwarts. Remus had figured out that Peter was alive because he turned up on the map - yeah! Amazing, right? The Prewett’s OTHER nephews nicked it from Filch… Anyway, Remus figured out what happened with Peter, so we almost killed him, but Harry really is your child…”  
“What do you mean?” Lily asked.  
“He stopped us killing Peter. Said that his parents wouldn’t want us to become killers.”  
A single tear trickled down James’ face. “I wish I was with him now.”  
Sirius looked out the window briefly. “Trust me, so do I.”  
“So what happened?” Lily asked, grasping Sirius’ every word.  
“Snape turned up-“  
“Bloody fucking hell,” James sighed, putting his head in his hands. “It’s always Snape!”“Yes, well he’s Potion’s master at Hogwarts-“  
“But he’s a death eater!” Lily exclaimed. “Why would Dumbledore let that happen?!”  
“Well, apparently he’s turned spy,” Sirius said bitterly, “but I don’t trust him. Harry doesn’t either.”  
“That’s my son!”  
“Prongs,” Sirius rolled his eyes, “Long story short, Peter got away because Remus forgot his wolfsbane and turned in front of the kids. I fought enough to give the kids time to escape, but Moony was angry that Padfoot abandoned him, which was fair, I guess-“  
“No it wasn’t. It wasn’t your fault.”“But the wolf didn’t know that, did it, Prongs?” James frowned. “Anyway, Harry saved my life by using a Patronus - a stag, by the way - to fight off the Dementors just before they could give me the kiss, but Snape turned me into Dumbledore and I didn’t get any time to explain. The Ministry turned up and I was this close-“ Sirius held up his thumb and forefinger so that they were barely touching, “to death, but - and get this - Harry, Ron and Hermione flew a fucking HIPPOGRIFF to the cell I was in and I escaped on Buckbeak’s - that’s the hippogriff’s - back. I didn’t see Harry for all of his fourth year. I was still a wanted man, of course. I guess I am technically still a wanted man. Oh, shit! I totally forgot to tell you what happened before I broke out!”  
James and Lily looked completely stunned at all that had happened to their best friend. “Um, what could be more important than that?”  
“Ah, well, Voldemort took over this teacher’s body in Harry’s first year, like his head was literally sticking out the back of the teacher’s head, because Voldemort wasn’t a body back then, just a soul. He had to inhabit a body. Well, the school was guarding ‘the Philosopher’s Stone’ and Harry decided he had to get it before Snape did, only once he passed all the challenges, with Ron and Hermione of course, he figured out that it was this other Professor. Anyway, Harry did something or rather, and when the Professor touched him the Professor literally disintegrated. Weird, right?”  
It was then that Sirius realised he was rambling to people who hadn’t seen their son in fourteen years, so he slowed down. “Sorry. I guess I just want you to know everything. He’s such a good kid.”  
“It’s okay, Sirius,” Lily said softly. “You can keep going.” Sirius didn’t miss her grabbing James’ hand under the table.   
“Okay,” Sirius said uncertainly, but he continued nonetheless. “A basilisk attacked Harry in the second year, oh, Harry’s also a parseltongue-“  
“HE’S A WHAT?!” James yelled.  
“What the fuck?” Lily said with less gusto, but just as much shock.  
“Yeah, it’s weird. Everyone thought he was killing people but it turned out to be the Basilisk. Then Voldemort’s teenage self, or Tom Riddle I guess, appeared and almost killed the Prewett’s NIECE this time, and it was all a mess. Harry has a thing for the niece now, by the way.”  
James exhaled. “Wow. That’s a lot.”  
“Oh, I’m not done. That was only third, first and second year. Fourth year I was away. Last year was the worst. Harry got nominated for the Triwizard tournament even though he didn’t put his name in-“  
“The Triwizard tournament’s back?” James asked at the same time as Lily said “Who put his name in?”  
“Well, Barty Crouch’s kid? Yeah, he took polyjuice all year and pretended to be Moody, who he’d actually locked in a trunk. Tried to teach the kids all kinds of dark spells. But Harry’s name spat out of the Goblet of Fire, meaning he had to compete. So he fought a dragon-“  
“A DRAGON?!” Lily yelled.  
“HOW?!” Added James.  
“I bought him the newest broom on the market. He’s a seeker, Prongs! Amazing one, too. Never lost a match since first year. McGonagall let him join then, that’s how good he is. Anyway, then he had to go underwater and fight mermaids to recover Ron, who the teacher’s had floating underwater in the lake, but another contestant dropped out so she couldn’t save her sister, so Harry saved them both because he’s Harry and he’d die before losing anyone else. Then he had to make his way through a maze, but Barty-as-Moody had imperiused one of the contestants. The other contestant, who was a sweet kid, I’ve been told, well Harry saved his life, and they decided they’d grab the Triwizard cup at the same time.”  
“Well, that’s great for him!”  
Sirius shook his head sadly. “No, Lily. Not great at all. The cup was a portkey, and it took them to the grave of Voldemort’s father. Voldemort restrained Harry and Peter was there. Peter killed the other boy in front of Harry-“ Lily burst into tears, and James pulled her into his chest. “I should stop. I’m sorry.”  
“Keep going,” Lily sniffled. “He’s my son. I need to know.”  
Sirius looked to James for guidance, but the man just nodded his head for Sirius to continue. “Well, Peter dragged out this… thing. Like a baby, but… Harry says he can’t describe it. He dropped it in a cauldron. Then Peter dragged a bone from daddy Voldemort’s grave-“ James snorted, earning a smile from Lily, “he cut Harry’s arm and let blood drip into the cauldron and then he cut off his own fucking hand and dropped it in there. Something about all of it allowed Voldemort, his true body, just like we saw, to come back. He tried to kill Harry, but Harry fought him off with a fucking ‘Expelliarmus’. He somehow grabbed the cup and brought Cedric’s body back to the school. I’m sure more happened, but Harry doesn’t like talking about it.”  
“I’m guessing if that’s fourth year, the fifth is worse?”  
“Prongs, I’m sorry, but yeah. Fifth year, this school year, Dumbledore had got The Order back together. But no one believed Harry, no one believed that Voldemort was back. The Prophet printed nasty things about Harry, saying he was a liar… it was terrible. There was no proof, so the Ministry didn’t believe him either. Then Harry got attacked by Dementors, like two streets from Petunia’s house. He used magic to save his cousin Dudley, and because the Ministry already hated him they tried to expel him. In the end, he was given a trial. Butt also, something happened with me.”  
“With you?” Asked James quizzically.  
“I moved in with Remus. Into our old flat. We got back together-“ Lily and James beamed at that, “but The Order needed a headquarters. So we both moved into Grimmauld Place. That’s The Order’s headquarters now.”  
“Dumbledore’s a bastard!” James cried.  
“That, I can agree on. We brought the kids, the Prewett’s niece and nephews to stay in the house. Hermione was there too, the other member of Harry’s golden trio, and we were finally able to bring Harry before his trial. It was in a massive courtroom with dementors and they’re taking wands of muggleborns and it’s all terrible, but Dumbledore turned up and saved Harry’s arse. Arabella Figg, remember her? She testified for Harry. Anyway, he wasn’t expelled, but people at school were horrible to him. But then he did something that would make you two proud.”  
“What did he do?” They asked in unison.  
“He started his own Order. He calls it ‘Dumbledore’s Army’. He’s a teacher now, he taught these kids all kinds of spells that Remus taught Harry privately, he taught them patronus’, it was really amazing.”  
“He sounds incredible,” Lily said softly.“Of course he is. He’s the two of you.”  
They were silent for a while before James cleared his throat. “As much as we loved that recap, Sirius, and we really did appreciate it, how did you end up here?”  
Sirius remembered where he was and suddenly felt cold. “Oh. Voldemort uses Harry, he plants these visions in his mind. Sometimes they’re real, sometimes they’re fake. He put something in Harry’s mind about me being killed in the Ministry…” Sirius trailed off, but James finished for him.  
“So naturally he broke in.”  
Sirius nodded. “Naturally. He broke in with Ron and Hermione, and Pandora’s kid, Luna Lovegood, and the Prewett’s niece slash Harry’s future girlfriend, Ginny, and also Neville.”  
“Alice and Frank’s boy?” Lily asked.  
“Yeah,” Sirius said softly. “He’s worked out to be pretty amazing too. Anyway, they broke into the Hall of Prophecies, where we’ve been protecting Harry’s prophecy, and they fell into the Chamber of Death.”  
“Oh, fuck.”  
“Yeah. Real bad. Death eaters then turned up, just in case it wasn’t bad enough. Lucius’ hair tried to grab the prophecy-“ another snort from Lily this time, “but Harry got all James-ey and mouthed off sarcastically for a while.”  
“Harry!” Lily reprimanded.“Yeah, but he gave us enough time to get in. Moody came, the real one this time, and Andromeda’s daughter, Nymphadora, but she just goes by Tonks now. She’s also been in love with Remus, who’s actually bisexual, crazy, right? And-“  
“Sirius, we don’t have much time. Who else was there?” James asked bluntly.  
“Remus came, and Kingsley, and me. We fought all the death eaters off. I guess someone smashed the prophecy. And then I picked a fight with Bellatrix.”  
“But she didn’t kill you, did she?”  
“Um, Lily, how do you know that?”  
“Because, Sirius, your body isn’t dead. What happened?”  
“I fell through this veil… I guess it took me here. I felt my body fall back through, but I’m still here. I haven’t had the time to freak out yet.”  
“We freaked out for a long time, didn’t we James?”“Yeah. We did. But time’s different here. One day here is like a month as a living body. So we have to get you back. If you want to go back.”  
“Why wouldn’t I want to go back?” Sirius asked, slightly irritated.“Because you haven’t seen the other side yet, Sirius.”  
“Why didn’t you go back?”  
Lily sighed. “Our bodies were dead. I’ve only heard of two people coming through limbo, but I didn’t meet them. Dorcas sent one of them back because only Healers can, but the other preferred it here.”  
“Where?” Sirius asked.  
“Here,” Lily said.  
The train pulled up and Sirius’ eyes widened.  
No way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm loving writing at the moment and have heaps of chapters written, so I'll be updating almost daily if you guys would like that! If not, let me know and I'll ease up :)  
> xoxo Gabs


	32. Remus: Is Black Back?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus finds out the sex of Tonks' baby, and Sirius wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is nearing its final days, but a new one is coming directly after!

Life without Sirius was miserable. Remus divided his time between the pack, other miscellaneous missions with The Order, looking after Tonks, and reading. It was boring, frankly.  
Life WITH Sirius, well, that could never be considered boring. Remus internally cursed himself for ever taking advantage of lazy days with his fiancee, lying around with him and doing absolutely nothing.  
But now Sirius was gone.  
And Tonks had just gone two months pregnant.  
And ‘Harry and co.’, as Remus had privately dubbed the kids, were all trying to grasp the concept of ’limbo’ and ‘the afterlife’. Hermione had resorted to burying her head in Black Family books (one of which had left her with horns for two days as a result of opening it, thanks to a muggleborn hex that Walburga must have planted), Ron had resorted to stress eating, and currently Harry was pacing the length of the upstairs sitting room that Sirius had remodelled.  
“Professor Lupin, sorry, Remus, it just takes some getting used, you know?”  
Remus went to agree, but Harry had already begun speaking again. This was clearly a monologue, so Remus settled into his armchair and listened.  
“What if he doesn’t want to come back? I know that my mum and dad and their friends said that they’d send him back but what if he wants to stay?”  
“Harry-“  
“And what if when he comes back he feels differently about me? Like, he’s met my parents, so he feels like he shouldn’t act like one anymore? God, what if the death eaters get to his body? Or worse, what if we just wait for him to come back, but time might work differently there, so what if he comes back in, what, eighty years? What if-“  
“Harry!” Remus had finally had enough. It was time to intervene, for Harry’s sake. (And definitely not because he was secretly thinking everything that Harry was and wanted a chance to justify why he must be wrong.)  
“Sorry, I’m rambling, aren’t I?”“I prefer the term monologuing. Have a seat, Harry, and just listen, yeah?”  
Harry shook his head and continued pacing. “I’m good to stand.”  
“For my sake, please, sit down,” Remus pleaded. The pacing was somehow making him dizzy.  
Harry looked embarrassed. “Sorry,” he mumbled, as he sunk into an armchair. “Well?”  
Remus sighed. “Firstly, Sirius is coming back. He loves you,” (and me, he added in his head) “and he wouldn’t leave you,” (or me) “and I know that because I know him, Harry, and I think you do too.”  
“Fair,” Harry said.  
“And also, the death eaters aren’t going to get his body. We have a guard with him every hour of the day, and if they haven’t come for him yet then I don’t think they’ll come at all. He’s just not that important. To them,” Remus added carefully. “Time might work differently there. Probably best to ask Hermione about that, considering how much research she’s been doing, but I think he’ll be back soon. I hope he will, and that’s all we can do at the moment.”  
Harry frowned. “I just wish there was something more that I could do.”  
“Me too,” Remus sighed. They were quiet for a moment before Remus noticed something sad in Harry’s eyes. “What is it, Harry?”  
“It’s horrible, and I shouldn’t say it.”  
“Harry, what’s going on?”  
“Is it wrong for me to wish I was the one the had fallen through the veil?”  
Remus smiled softly. “So you could see your parents again?”  
Harry nodded, looking ashamed. “I know that’s awful, I just…”  
“It’s not wrong for you to think that at all. You shouldn’t be ashamed of that. It’s natural that you’d want a chance to see them again.”  
“Sirius got ten years with them. I got one. But it’s ridiculous to be jealous of someone who’s essentially dead, isn’t it?”  
Remus shook his head. “It’s decidedly not ridiculous. And no one is judging you except yourself.”  
Harry stayed quiet for a few moments before saying “Remus?”  
“Yes, Harry?”  
“Will you play Gobstones with me?”  
Suddenly life was slightly less boring.

————————————————

“I just don’t know! I’ve always been horrid with decisions, and this is a pretty fucking big one!”  
“Tonks, don’t you think it’s great that right now your biggest stress is what you’re going to name the baby?”“Ugh!” Tonks cried, falling back on the bed.   
Remus was seated in an armchair in his (and Sirius’, he was adamant about that) room, reading. Well he WAS, reading, before Tonks burst in, suddenly desperate to being the naming process, despite there being seven months until a name would be necessary. She had burst in similarly a few days ago, and after that incident, Remus was far too terrified of the hormonal woman to even suggest changing the topic.  
It was best to just accept that this was the conversation now, and to get on with it. “Have you decided on a middle name?”  
She looked at him irritatedly. “Yes, but I don’t want you to get a big head about it.”“I won’t!”  
“It’s Remus.”  
Remus’ heart fulled with warmth. “Are you sure?”  
Tonks nodded. “Yes. Now. I was thinking of naming it, if it’s a boy, after my father, so Edward, but I hate the name Ed, which would inevitably become the nickname, so I’m quite conflicted, you see? And…” Tonks had continued rapidly speaking, but that was around the point where Remus zoned out.  
Five minutes later, Remus registered that the room was silent, and Tonks was looking at him expectantly. “So? Do you agree?”  
A game of chance, this was. “Um… yes? Yes. I agree.”  
“Thank Godric! I thought you weren’t listening!”  
“Of course I was listening!” (He had not been.)  
“Well, now that we’ve agreed, I’ll make an appointment with a muggle doctor, or maybe I’ll get Kingsley to do it, he seems like he’d have some connections and he’s great at acting Muggle-“  
“Which doctor is this?” Remus asked nervously.  
“You weren’t listening!”  
“I was trying to! You were just talking really fast!”  
“I want to find out the sex of the baby, and if you want to make it through tomorrow without becoming a eunuch, you’ll agree with me.”  
Remus sighed. “I’ll make the appointment.”  
“Do you think Mungo’s would do it?”  
“I’ll ask today. I’m going to visit Sirius.”  
“Great. Say hi to his desolate body for me!”  
And with that, Tonks exited the room.

Merlin, this was going to be difficult.

———————————————

Remus stood over Sirius’ bed and the barely living body beneath it. If not for those words from James and Lily, those who he trusted the most, Remus would see nothing but a lifeless form, but Sirius’ soul would come back, he knew it would. It had to.  
A doctor came in to check Sirius’ vitals, and Remus took the chance. “Excuse me?”  
“Yes, Mr Lupin?” The young healer asked, smiling.  
“Remus is fine,” Remus grinned back, hoping that his werewolf status wouldn’t affect this yet another interaction. “I was wondering if you have doctors here who can find out the gender of a baby? Before it’s born?”  
The woman paused to think for a moment before writing something down on her clipboard. “Give me one moment.” She rushed out of the room leaving Remus thoroughly confused, before returning a minute later with an eccentric looking man who seemed very out of place in the neat room. “This is Healer Lewis. I think he’ll be more helpful than me.” With that, she left the two, well three? men alone in the room.  
“Hi, I’m Remus Lupin, I’ve just got a question-“  
“You’re a werewolf, yes?” The man asked, a brilliant smile on his face.  
“Uh… yes?” Remus responded, confused at the man’s reaction.  
“Fascinating! Anyway-“ the man smoothly moved on “what is this question?”  
“Can you find out the gender of a baby before it’s born?”  
“Ah!” The man exclaimed as if he’d had some sort of epiphany. “Yes, I can indeed! Our senior healers in the birthing department have just been trained! Would you like to book an appointment?”  
The thought of entrusting this man with any kind of medical task was daunting, to say the least, but it seemed that Remus was out of options. “Yes, I’d like to make an appointment.”

Remus booked Tonks in for an appointment for the next day. Hopefully that would earn him some brownie points and he wouldn’t be yelled at that evening.  
Remus kissed Sirius’ forehead, and mumbled “I love you” before heading back to Grimmauld Place. 

———————————————

“Are you sure about this?” Remus asked Tonks. They were sitting in the waiting room in St Mungo’s, awaiting her appointment.  
“Yes, now would you stop asking me that?!” She snapped, before looking extremely apologetic. “Sorry, Remus. It’s just, this is our kid, and I’m nervous.”  
‘Our kid’, Remus played back in his head. He liked how it sounded. “It’ll be fine, okay?”

And it was fine. Tonks was having a boy. Remus (and Sirius, of course) were going to be having a son.  
“Thank god! I’ve never had any female friends and I’m horrible with girls!”  
“You’re friends with Ginny,” Remus countered.  
“And she’s horrible with girls too! SIX BROTHERS, Remus! Six brothers!”  
“Can we see Sirius before we go?”  
Tonks smiled and grabbed Remus’ hand, steering him towards the suite where Sirius was lying. “‘Course we can.”

Visiting Sirius was always odd, because what exactly do you say to a soulless body?   
Today, Remus settled on “Hi, darling. I’m quite stressed right now, and I need your help. I need you. I love you. Just come back to me, please.”  
With that, Sirius took a deep breath, and his body became surrounded by a golden glow that slowly consumed him before it vanished all at once.  
Sirius’ eyes opened, and he smiled at Remus, that lopsided smile that Remus knew and loved.   
This was real.  
What the fuck.  
“You’re… back,” Remus breathed out.  
Sirius smiled and reached for Remus’ hand, before realising that he was too weak. “Forever and always, remember?”  
Remus, yet again, passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	33. Sirius: Bring Back Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius returns from the veil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter is here, you guys!

The train pulled up to a station that Sirius didn’t recognise. It took all of five seconds to realise that Sirius had been here before. He’d been here on the worst day of his life.  
They’d arrived in Godric’s Hollow.  
“Close your mouth, mate, you’ll catch flies,” James said offhandedly. Sirius realised that he’d been gaping, wide-eyed.  
“Why are we… here?”  
“This is our afterlife, Sirius,” Lily said calmly. “Now come say hi.”

It was a short walk from the train station to the main square. In that time, Sirius had the opportunity bombard James and Lily with all of the questions he had. In the end, Lily stopped him.  
“How about I just explain without you asking bit by bit?” She suggested. Sirius nodded rapidly, and she began. “Everyone has their own afterlife. We aren’t entirely sure how it works, because James and I share one, but we were married and our lives were completely entwined, so I guess that’s why our afterlives are, too.”“Everyone has their own afterlife, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t a part of other people’s as well. Lily and I are consciously here, but we’re in my mum and dad’s afterlife, too. Part of us is, at least. Part of us that connected with them goes to them. But they’re in ours, too. They’re probably in a lot of people’s, just like we are…” James trailed off, getting confused himself.  
“It’s like there’s many versions of us. But afterlives don’t come together, as far as we know, so we’ll never run into the other versions of ourselves. We remain the people who we were when we died in our afterlife and in everyone else’s,” Lily added.James chuckled. “We get to be twenty-one forever!”  
Lily rolled her eyes. “We had to find some positives when we first got here.”  
Sirius wanted to say ‘Oh! I get it now!’ But he did NOT get it. It was far too confusing for him to deal with right now. Or ever.  
“It gets less confusing the more time you have to deal with it,” James added.  
“You can read my thoughts?!” Sirius exclaimed.  
Lily and James both laughed. “No, Sirius, we just know you, silly.”  
They’d reached the square by then, and Sirius saw people mulling around. “So these are…”  
“People who we connected with emotionally, positively, when we were alive. Only people who’ve also died, though. So parents, family, friends…” Lily trailed off sadly.  
It was wrong to have hoped that he could see his friends again, because that would mean they were dead, but Sirius smiled shamelessly anyway. “Friends?”  
James nodded. “Friends. Speaking of, some people want to say hi to you. I think they’re at home.”

They made their way over to the house that Sirius had only seen in ruins. Harry’s crib could be seen from the window upstairs, and Sirius was reminded of how tortured James and Lily must have been when they arrived here. He pushed that thought out of his mind as he walked through the front door and was confronted by a room full of people (people?).  
“Sirius!” Marlene practically screamed, throwing her hands around his shoulders. “We missed you,” Dorcas said wrapping an arm around him once Marlene had let go.  
“We all did!” Caradoc raised his glass from the back of the room.What. The. Fuck.

——————————————————————

The next… how ever many hours Sirius spent catching up with those who he had lost. It was odd, really, because he knew, logically, that these people were dead, and that versions of them existed elsewhere in the universe catching up with other friends. It was all very confusing.  
Sirius said hi to Benjy. He was informed that ‘being blown to bits really didn’t hurt that much’.  
Sirius said hi to both of the Prewetts, who said ‘we went out together, that’s the way we always wanted to go.’. Sirius informed them that they saved Mad-Eye’s life by sacrificing themselves. He also spent as long as he could bear telling them about their niece and nephews, and how Harry and his nephew were best friends and Harry and his niece would probably get married, and wasn’t that funny, and that they were all wrapped up in The Order.  
Sirius told them all about Harry’s adventures, and that The Order was back. He tried to cram in as much information from the past fourteen or even more years as he could in the shortest amount of time possible. He was almost tired of his own voice.  
Caradoc told Sirius that he was held hostage for a few months before he stole a death eater’s wand and stunned the man watching over him, but he got killed trying to escape.  
Euphemia and Fleamont embraced Sirius as their son, and told him that they’d gone out fighting soon after James and Lily died. They were at peace with their deaths. Sirius told them that Hokey was still baking cookies in their absence.  
Alice and Frank were not dead, Lily told Sirius, they were locked in Mungo’s. Apparently they visited here, from time to time, however that worked, so Sirius tried to give Lily as much information as possible about Neville to pass on to his parents when they next arrived.   
Sirius was sure that there were more people he’d said hello to, but was forcefully reminded that this was James and Lily’s afterlife, and not his own, because Regulus was not there. And he’d never wanted to see his brother as much as he did right then. 

——————————————————————

Everyone cleared out of James and Lily’s except for Marlene and Dorcas, who sat Sirius down and prepared him for a Serious Conversation.  
“Sirius, do you want to go back?” Marlene asked him.  
“Yes,” Sirius answered, without a second thought. This would all be waiting for him later, right now he needed to be alive, because other people needed him. He couldn’t be selfish right now.  
“It wouldn’t be selfish to stay, Sirius,” Lily said quietly.  
“You CAN read my thoughts!”  
Lily laughed. “No, I can’t. I know you, Sirius. That hasn’t changed.”  
“Does it feel like a long time? Fourteen years?”  
James shook his head. “Barely feels like a week.”  
Sirius had to admit, this all sounded quite lovely, and easy, and safe, and simple. But it wasn’t worth leaving Harry and Remus. Nothing was.  
“I want to go back,” Sirius said firmly. “Now.”  
Dorcas smiled and sat down opposite him. “It’s not that easy, Sirius. I’m not even meant to send people back, but we can’t leave you in limbo forever, and you don’t belong in someone else’s world forever, either. But if you’re sure, I can do my best.”  
“Please, please get me back.”  
Dorcas nodded. “Marls, babe, pass me my wand?”  
“There’s magic here?” Sirius gaped.  
“Of course there’s magic here! Would be awfully boring if there wasn’t, don’t you think?”Sirius didn’t know what to think at this point. If he wasn’t a wizard and hadn’t seen the crazy shit that he had, he probably would’ve properly died, solely from shock.   
“Alright then, what do you have to do?”  
Dorcas gave Sirius some potions to take before he slept that night, because god, dying makes you incredibly tired. She whispered hundreds of unfamiliar incantations as she surrounded Sirius’ body with a golden orb, and then she forced some more potions down his throat and told him that it didn’t work, and she’d try again tomorrow. She assured him that the last guy she sent back took eight tries, and she instructed Sirius to get some sleep before the next day.

“You can sleep in Harry’s room, we’ll transfigure the crib, or on the sofa. Up to you, love,” Lily said kindly.   
It felt wrong sleeping in Harry’s room, so Sirius took the sofa.   
He bid his best friends good night, and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

———————————————————————

“Sir-us!” Sirius woke up to a pillow being thrown violently at his face.  
“What the fuc-“ Sirius stopped himself before accusing James of waking him as he saw a young girl who couldn’t have been older than four looking guilty.  
“Sir-us!” She said, her pronunciation atrocious, but he gave her an A for effort.  
“What’s your name?” Sirius asked as he made an effort to stand up.  
“My names Claudia,” the little girl said confidently.  
“Sorry, sorry! Claudia! What did I tell you about waking Sirius?” Lily said, rushing into the living room.  
“…Not too?” Claudia answered.  
“And what did you do?”  
“I woke him?”  
“Go to Uncle James, yeah?”  
The girl nodded and padded into the back of the house.  
“Who the flying fuck was that?” Sirius asked.  
“That’s Claudia.”  
“Yes, I gathered as much.”  
Lily rolled her eyes. “I met her when I was young, she was my best friend when I was four, but she died from some muggle disease back then. Apparently our connection was strong, because she’s turned up here.”  
Sirius nodded. “Understood.” NOT UNDERSTOOD, he was internally screaming, DEFINITELY NOT UNDERSTOOD!  
“Marlene and Dorcas are coming over soon. James is making tea. Have a shower, no offence, but death made you stink. There’s towels in the bathroom, okay?”  
Sirius smiled up at her. He’d be going back today. He knew it. “Okay. Thanks, Lily.”  
“No problem, Sirius.” And with that, she disappeared into the kitchen and Sirius let the death was over his skin.

———————————————————————

“Argh!” Sirius cried, falling back on the couch. “That’s the tenth try!”  
“Yes, I’m well aware of that,” Dorcas snapped. “This takes it out of me, too, you know.”  
Sirius looked at her apologetically. “Sorry. I just…”  
She nodded, understanding his unspoken words. “Let’s go again. This might be the time, I really feel it, okay?”  
Sirius got up and hugged James and Lily, the same way that he did before each attempt at returning him to mortality. He bid them farewell each time so that he wouldn’t regret it if he didn’t get to say goodbye. He would never leave them without saying goodbye again.  
“Right, you’ve got to really, really focus, Sirius. I need you to think about Remus, and Harry, and everything that binds you to the planet, okay?”  
Isn’t that the problem? Sirius thought. Most of the things that bound me to the planet are here. But no, he reprimanded himself, Harry, Remus. Harry. Remus.  
“You ready?” Dorcas asked. Sirius gulped and nodded. “Then let’s do this.”  
Sirius felt a warmth rush through his body, and saw a golden glow emitted from his every pore. This was it, he thought. Harry. Remus. Harry. Remus. Harry. Remus…  
And then he was falling, falling, faintly hearing James and Lily’s ‘I love you’s echoing through the air. He was falling, falling, falling… and hitting solid ground.  
Ground? More like a bed. It was a bed. Holy shit! IT WAS A BED! Sirius tried to open his eyes, but he felt frozen. Almost like he needed a reason to wake up.  
And then the reason came, in the form of the voice of his one true love.   
“Hi, darling. I’m quite stressed right now, and I need your help. I need you. I love you. Just come back to me, please.”  
Sirius’ eyes opened wide. He took in his surroundings as quickly as he could, grounding himself instantly. It took all of his strength, but he managed to smile up at Remus.  
“You’re… back,” Remus breathed out, eyes widened in shock.  
“Forever and always, remember?” Sirius said, wishing that he had enough strength to grab Remus’ hand.  
That wouldn’t have been much help, it turned out, because as soon as Remus began to smile, to really register that Sirius was there, that Sirius was alive… Remus passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for still reading guys, you're the best ever.  
> Gabby xx


	34. Sirius: The Time Has Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius finds out Tonks is pregnant, gets discharged, and is finally pardoned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one because I had writer's block this week, but I'm back on track with the next chapter now!  
> This fic is coming to an end, but the next one will be up straight after. I do need a beta reader, and I also NEED A NAME! Teddy will be there, but it's half blood prince era. Please help me with a name!!

What the fuck. What the fuck? What the fuck!   
Tonks was pregnant. And she was saying that Remus was the father?No.Surely Remus hadn’t moved on that quickly. And not only moved on, but gotten his baby cousin knocked up? Sirius wasn’t sure who to be protective over, he wasn’t sure who to yell at. His baby cousin, who he swore to protect, the one who’d been knocked up by someone, or Remus, the love of his life, someone who may have just made a mistake but is now being pressured into fatherhood?!  
This, Sirius decided, was completely and utterly fucked. So, he did what most rational people would do, and he yelled.  
“WHAT THE FUCK, REMUS?!”   
Remus got off the bed hastily. “Sirius, it’s not what you think.”  
“It’s not?!” Sirius roared. “There better be an incredibly good explanation for this, because you’re looking pretty fucking guilty right now!”  
“Sirius, we’re on a hospital! Keep your voice down!”  
“AND YOU!” Sirius yelled, turning to Tonks. “You slept with Remus?! MY REMUS?! Practically the day I died?!”  
“You didn’t die, Sirius,” Remus reminded him.  
“You’re right! I wasn’t even dead! The body wasn’t even cold and you pounced on Remus!”  
“Sirius-“  
“No, Tonks, don’t tell me to be quiet! I-“  
“Sirius, please-“  
“Remus, don’t even speak to me. You clearly don’t love me-“  
“It’s not my baby!” Remus yelled, completely exasperated. “So would you calm the fuck down!”  
Sirius shut his mouth immediately. To be fair, it was a completely reasonable assumption to make. Tonks literally referred tp Remus as the father…  
“So why are you ‘the father’?” Sirius said with air quotes.  
“Because a muggle knocked me up and Remus and I decided it was better that I didn’t do this alone! We also thought you could be another father, the kid could have two, but if you’re so angry about it, just forget it!”  
“Tonks,” Sirius pleaded. “I’m sorry.”  
“I’m not the only one you need to apologise to,” she said, crossing her arms.  
Sirius turned to Remus and tried to grab his hand. “Moony, I’m so sorry. I just thought-“  
“It’s fine, Sirius,” Remus said shortly.  
“What?”  
“I want to say it’s not, and that you’re being a prick, but you just came back from the dead, and I thought I lost you forever, so it’s pretty hard to be angry right now.”  
Sirius grinned, even though he shouldn’t. Remus was forgiving him on a mere technicality, but with the past few days he’s had? He’d take it.  
They were all silent for a minute, before Sirius spoke up. “So, you’re having a baby?” He said to Tonks.  
She smiled and walked over to grab his hand. “We’re having a baby, Sirius.”  
Suddenly, Sirius realised that he was going to be a father. He was going to have a son, with Remus, and with Tonks, the best girl that he knew. Everything seemed okay, right then. It really did.  
Of course, when things seem too good to be true, it’s because they are.

—————————————————

It took the rest of the day for Sirius to be discharged. He was flooded with questions about what the afterlife was like, and how he got back, and what exactly ‘limbo’ was, but Dumbledore eventually turned up and had a word to the staff. After that, it barely took half an hour for Sirius to get out of the hospital. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was actually feeling quite weak. That was ‘to be expected’ according to Hermione, the one who’d done extensive research over the past two months. Sirius couldn’t believe he’d been gone for two whole months. It barely felt like two days, he’d only slept one night and he should be exhausted. Remus pointed out that his body had been asleep for two months, which was why he had all the energy in the world.  
He felt like he’d missed a LOT.

“You really haven’t missed that much, Sirius,” Harry pointed out as they sat in the sitting room. It was nearing the end of the summer holidays and Sirius hated that he’d misseddall that time with his godson.   
“I haven’t? Really?! I come back and suddenly I’m going to be a father and Voldemort is launching attacks, the Ministry has admitted the mistakes he’s made… I’ve missed a LOT, Harry.”  
“I guess you have. At least you can properly live now, though, isn’t that good?”  
What did that mean? “Huh?”  
“You know, because you’re pardoned?”  
“I’M WHAT?!” Sirius yelled, jumping up. “I’m WHAT?!”  
“Pardoned!”  
“I heard you! Since when am I pardoned?!”  
Harry looked guilty. “So no one told you?”  
“No!” Sirius exclaimed. “No one told me!”  
“You were pardoned the minute they got you to Mungo’s. Even the Muggles don’t think you’re guilty.”  
Sirius almost fainted. How could they have forgotten to mention that?! He was free! He was actually properly finally free!“Sirius?” Harry said tentatively. “You okay there?”  
“I’m fantastic!” Sirius cried. “I can go outside! Should we go for a walk?!”  
Harry frowned. “I think not.”  
Sirius cocked his head. “Why not?”  
“You might be free, but I’m not. The death eaters are on my trail, constantly now. I’m stuck inside, unless I’m at Hogwarts.” Sirius felt his heart from when Harry mentioned Hogwarts, For a split second, he thought that Harry could come back and live with him again. He chastised himself for feeling disappointed.  
“So you’re going back for sixth year?” Sirius couldn’t help but ask.  
Harry frowned. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I know it would be better for you if I stayed, I just-“  
“Harry,” Sirius interrupted, “you have a life to live. And I do too, now, I guess, so everything will be fine. I’ll come visit you?” Sirius asked.  
“I was actually thinking, well Hermione was thinking, you could come visit on Hogsmeade weekends. Technically you’re not breaking any rules if we just run into you there, right?”  
Sirius grinned. Harry had a knack for loopholes, just as his father did. “I’ll be there, Harry. Of course I will.”  
Suddenly, Harry wrapped Sirius in a tight hug. Sirius chuckled and held on to his godson. He made a mental promise to never let him go again.

\-------------------------

That night, Sirius went for a walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for waiting for this chapter, you really are the best.  
> How are you all?   
> xxx Gabby


	35. The Last Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On to the next fic we go!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all my readers. Come read the next one!!

There were battles coming. There were attacks looming. There was darkness, thick in the air.  
A baby was coming. Fatherhood was looming, there was love, thick in the air.  
The Order was together, Black was back, there was loss, surrounding them all.  
Muggles were dying, half-bloods were being slaughtered and the war had barely begun.

NEXT FIC:

MERLIN THESE BOYS ARE IDIOTS: HALF BLOOD PRINCE, BUT BLACK IS BACK  
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29030142

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are welcome and encouraged!!  
> xoxo Gabby


End file.
